Category: Humor

Conflicting copyright instructions from legal research company

| September 6, 2016 | 1 Reply

Thomson Reuters (formerly West Publishing) sent me a DVD with Missouri Jury Instructions today. The DVD comes with a document called “Forms on Disc Guide.” That document gives me the following advice:

Although you may access the forms directly from the disc, we recommend you create a directory on your hard drive and copy the contents of the disc into that directory. The forms can then be accessed from your hard drive and the disc can be kept with the book for safe keeping.

Sounds like good advice. But wait! The Copyright Notice, another document on the same DVD, contains this warning:

© 2016 Thomson Reuters. No claim to original U.S. Govt. works.
All rights reserved. The data on the disc is licensed by West, part of Thomson Reuters, and no part of the data may be copied, downloaded, stored in a retrieval system, further transmitted or otherwise reproduced, stored, disseminated, transferred, or used in any form or by any means, including, but not limited to, use by multiple users on a wide-area network, local area network, intranet, or extranet, or similar method of distribution, without prior written permission. Any authorized reproduction of any part of the data must contain notice of copyright as follows: © 2016 Thomson Reuters. No claim to original U.S. Govt. works.

Therefore, Thomson is 1) telling me to copy its jury instruction forms onto my hard drive AND 2) telling me that if I have “copied” or “downloaded” this information on my “retrieval system” I would be in violation of copyright laws, unless I have first obtained “prior written permission” from Thomson Reuters.

This second warning is especially silly in that the whole purpose of having jury instruction “Forms” is to copy them as part of the process of using those forms to prepare jury instructions, and then “transmitting” those instructions to a court and other attorneys for use at trial.

All of this not carefully thought out by one of the world premier providers of legal products to lawyers.


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George Carlin discusses cops . . . and Jesus

| August 28, 2016 | Reply

Newly released material from the work of George Carlin, includes this bit.

For more, see here.


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The Onion explores the evolution of God.

| April 15, 2015 | Reply

According to The Onion:

“Challenging long-held views on the origins of divinity, biologists at the University of California, Berkeley, presented findings Thursday that confirm God, the Almighty Creator of the Universe, evolved from an ancient chimpanzee deity.

The recently discovered sacred ancestor, a divine chimp species scientists have named Pan sanctorum, reportedly gave rise over millions of years to the Lord Our God, Maker of Heaven and Earth.”


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Transubstantiation disproven

| March 29, 2015 | Reply

Explosive headline concerning the alleged transubstantiation. Here’s the title and opening sentence:

Vatican reeling as DNA tests show communion wafers contain 0% Christ

The Vatican is this morning facing a further crisis after routine DNA tests revealed that the communion wafers used in Sunday mass contain 0% of the body and blood of Christ.


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Rogue Historians Invent Ancient Greeks

| October 19, 2014 | 1 Reply

The Onion reports:

A group of leading historians held a press conference Monday at the National Geographic Society to announce they had “entirely fabricated” ancient Greece, a culture long thought to be the intellectual basis of Western civilization.


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The Onion: Noam Chomsky is going to simply try to enjoy the day

| September 4, 2014 | Reply

Here’s the story by the Onion. Here’s an excerpt:

LEXINGTON, MA—Describing himself as “terribly exhausted,” famed linguist and political dissident Noam Chomsky said Monday that he was taking a break from combating the hegemony of the American imperialist machine to try and take it easy for once.

I found this Onion story especially funny, given that I’ve been accused of not knowing how to lay back and just have fun. A couple years ago, a very close friend, a man who is like a brother to me, told me, “Erich, you need to have fun more often.” It’s weird to hear such things, because it always seems so normal inside of my own head. The way I think is what I enjoy doing. That’s the context for why I enjoyed this Onion story so much.


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George Carlin on religion and sun worship

| June 23, 2014 | Reply

I’ve seen this analysis of religion by George Carlin before, and find it well worth periodic re-watching:


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Premier episode of Lee Camp’s Redacted Tonight

| June 3, 2014 | Reply

Lee Camp’s premier episode of Redacted Tonight begins with a head-on assault upon Monsanto. It’s hard hitting and deals with extremely serious issues. Here’s the description of the show:

“In this episode, Lee Camp bites into Monsanto, which makes him ill, and John F. O’Donnell gets molested by the tentacles of the billionaire Kochtopus. Obama ends the War in Afghanistan with something other than peace, Chilean magician Papas Fritas makes $500 million in student debt disappear. Sam Sacks examines NSA reform – and by “reform,” we mean ”business as usual.” A second Deutsche Bank video against boasting bankers is mysteriously leaked, and speaking of leaks – radiation is leaking in New Mexico. Tennessee brings back a shocking punishment, and more!”


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Deepak Chopra nonsense generator

| May 26, 2014 | Reply

This nonsensical Deepak Chopra quote generator will make as much sense as many of the quotes of Chopra himself. And yet you won’t wince when you read these because you’ll know that they are supposed to be random strings of words.


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