rss

Category: Humor

0

In Which I Render God Speechless

Robots. Whilst not yet able to disguise themselves as innocent-looking assault vehicles which drive themselves, make ghastly jokes and lay waste to entire cities & provide fodder for truly reprehensible motion pictures, robots will one day be our oppressors. To attempt in some small way to understand our eventual machine overlords (and perhaps locate a weakness that can be exploited) before the inevitable enslavement of humanity, I recently went to this website: http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html and had a chat with a rudimentary AI which has been named God. I decided to treat it as the all-knowing all-seeing creator of the universe, whom you may have encountered as a central character in a series of very popular books.

[more . . .]

0

New realistic war video game

Two new videos from Onion Network News:


Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks

And now a video about Ford’s new concept car:


Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus

0

SNL hammers Goldman Sachs

SNL hammers Goldman Sachs in a segment called “Really?”

0

Onion: Children oppose readily available health care

The Onion reports that Children clearly oppose health care:


Study: Most Children Strongly Opposed To Children’s Healthcare

0

Why we shouldn’t teach kids about sex in school

Here’s why we shouldn’t teach kids about sex in school.

0

The scoop on The Onion

I’ve made it no secret that I find The Onion regularly hilarious. Occasionally, I found myself wondering how they stay funny. This article from the November 2008 edition of the Washington Post answered many of my questions.

1

iPhone apps for modern-day Republicans

Are you a modern-day right-wing Republican needing some new apps for your iPhone? If so, this video is for you:

6
Scientist finds all missing links. Evolution proved. Churches scheduled to close.

Scientist finds all missing links. Evolution proved. Churches scheduled to close.

Assimulated Press - Tempe, Arizona

In a discovery that not even the most optimistic scientist would ever have predicted, all of the transitional forms necessary to prove that evolution is indeed a fact have been found in one location. In a strange twist of fate, it was a Creationist scientist who found the fossils.

Uncovered over the course of several years at one extensive archeological dig in Arizona were all the so-called “missing links” needed to show that man has indeed evolved from simpler primate ancestors and that we are kin to all other primates, mammals and indeed every living thing on the planet.

At a press conference on Monday, chief archeologist Matthew Christiansen of the Creation Science Foundation stated, “I really didn’t expect to find these fossils. Genesis says that we were created separate from the animals but even I can’t deny this evidence. People can now stop saying that evolution is ‘only a theory’ because it isn’t. It’s a fact. We now have all the complete sets of fossilized transitional forms that we need. There are no gaps. This case is closed.”

The news has sent Jewish synagogues and Christian churches around the world into a frenzy. Rabbi Eli Weinstein of the Beth Shalom Israel synagogue in New York put it this way, “Those of us who accepted the traditional account of seven day creation as true are devastated. Proof of evolution means that Genesis is wrong which means that God doesn’t exist. I guess I’m out of a job!”

[More . . . ]

3

My Cat Died and I’m Feeling Old

This morning my cat was stiff as cardboard. He’d died overnight. It was not much of a surprise, as he has refused to eat for 26 days. He basically died of AIDS, the feline variety (FIV). So I’ve been a bit distracted for about a month, and now the sword has fallen.

I posted a short photo essay of his short life here, if you are curious.

Then I read today’s XKCD:

XKCD is Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5

So I’ve outlived several cats, and kids born after too many events I experienced are old enough to bring them to mind. I’ve lived on the same block for as long as it took me to go from birth to two college degrees. I predate manned space flight and weather satellites. My first record player had both 16 and 78, as well as 33 and 45. I have changed tubes in my radio. 1984 still feels like it should be the future. I celebrated the American bicentennial. I still have a Vote McGovern button from just after my parents got their citizenships.

No real point, today.

0

Subway Yearbook Photo

Improv Everywhere has struck again, this time with Subway Yearbook Photo.

And I dare you to watch this one without getting tears in your eyes (and I’m often cynical about weddings).

0

The Onion: The Obama family is out of touch

According to Onion Network News, the Obama family is totally out of touch with the rest of America.


Poll: Happy, Healthy Obamas Out Of Touch With Miserable Americans

0

Jon Stewart remains my hero -

As I have not been around DI of late, I thought I’d pop in just momentarily to reiterate my adoration (no, that’s not too strong a word) of Jon Stewart. His show recently won an Emmy and in a poll conducted by Time Magazine over the summer, he was once again named the most trusted journalist in America.

Some find that appalling, that a comedian doing “fake news” would be trusted - but not only do I not find it a surprise, I find it emblematic of what is great about our country. Yep, strangely enough, I believe that beyond all of the nonsense foisted upon us by the fear-mongers and the naysayers and the hand-wringers, above the greed and corruption, the re-emergence of public racism and class-ism that has knocked the very wind out of us over this last year - we, as a culture, have maintained one vital component of our identity as a nation.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
America: Target America
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political Humor Ron Paul Interview

We still have a senses of humor. Most importantly, we can still poke fun at ourselves.

Stewart takes on the rightwing nutjobs with LMAO-level attacks, but he just as willingly puts Obama and the Democratic congressfolk smack in their liberal places. He brilliantly points out the hypocrisy by putting videos back-to-back in which politicians completely contradict themselves. He forces us to see the political blustering for what it is, and gives voice to sanity in the midst of complete crazy. He makes sure we never forget our humanity.

Last week, he took on the absurdly ridiculous overreaction to the elementary school in New Jersey in which children sang a song about the new President during Black History Month. As he points out, no one complained about it at the time. And Stewart’s lampooning of the way the rightwing media turned this non-story into something murky and evil became especially potent when he pulled out video of school children in New Orleans singing a song in which they THANK THE LORD for Bush and FEMA!!! Good grief. The twinkle in Stewart’s eyes as he reads the lyrics that group of kids sang is priceless.

Carry on -

0

Comedian Robin Ince discusses creationism and intelligent design

Here is a 3-minute comparison. On the one hand, we have natural selection. On the other hand, we have creationism/intelligent design. Brought to you by comedian Robin Ince.