Pig Food, compliments of the Hostess

May 18, 2007 | By | 5 Replies More

I needed to attend a deposition in Washington D.C. today.  I brought one of my daughters (she’s 6) on the trip. She patiently drew pictures and read books during the deposition, which lasted two hours this morning.  Now that I’m done with work, we’re having fun doing tourist things. 

First, we visited the National Air and Space Museum (on the Mall).  We walked by the White House.  At the Lincoln Memorial, we gazed at the majestic statue of Lincoln and then we stood at the spot where Martin Luther King gave his “I have a dream speech.  We touched the Vietnam War Memorial.  We really enjoyed the National Zoo, where we saw several giant pandas up close.  Such beautiful animals!  

Perhaps the most curious thing that happened occurred on a street near the zoo, however.  We spotted a man carrying a tray of Hostess products (Twinkies, Cupcakes, Suzy-Q’s) out of a 7-11 store toward his Hostess truck.  After we said hello to each other, he mentioned that he was removing these old Hostess products from the stores.  He explained that after the Twinkies, etc. reach their expiration date, he takes them away. 

“Where do you take them,” I asked.

“They are used as pig food,” he said. 

“Really?” I asked.

“Really,” he responded.  “They feed old Hostess products to pigs. 

“Really?” I again asked?  “For real?”  I wondered whether he was kidding us, but the man appeared to be speaking in earnest.  It wasn’t like he was just anyone making this claim.  He was wearing an official Hostess uniform and driving an official Hostess truck.

“Absolute truth,” he said.  The pig farmers come pick them up and take these to feed them to their pigs.  On several occasions I personally provided them to pig farmers”

He waved goodbye as my daughter and I walked into the 7-11 Store. 

It hadn’t been my intention before talking to the Hostess man, but . . . what the heck . . . my daughter and I emerged from the 7-11 to share one small pack of pig food.  I know it wasn’t healthy, but somehow it seemed like an opportunity to eat something exotic.

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Category: Food, Whimsy

About the Author ()

Erich Vieth is an attorney focusing on consumer law litigation and appellate practice. He is also a working musician and a writer, having founded Dangerous Intersection in 2006. Erich lives in the Shaw Neighborhood of St. Louis, Missouri, where he lives half-time with his two extraordinary daughters.

Comments (5)

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  1. grumpypilgrim says:

    The most remarkable thing about this story for me is that Hostess products actually have an expiration date. I thought that stuff lasted forever.

  2. tmol says:

    "my daughter and I emerged from the 7-11 to share one small pack of pig food. I know it wasn’t healthy, but somehow it seemed like an opportunity to eat something exotic."

    ok, we get it. just an elaborate an excuse for next wednesday's weigh-in.

  3. Ben says:

    Aw, if I had known you were in town, I could have recommended a nice (somewhat clean) restaurant, and some museums. Although, Air and Space DEFINITELY would have been on the list too, good choice! Must see the Natural History, it is the best (opinion) museum on the mall!

    If you didn't get a chance to read the walls inside the lincoln memorial..

    I guess it isn't too late… But quite the experience with him sitting there.

    "But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. "

    – Abe (Gettysburg Address)

    The WWII memorial is the newest one, and is pretty impressive. But of course the Vietnam memorial is quite eerie too. Haven't been to the zoo in years though.

  4. Erika Price says:

    Did you know you can follow at walking speed the tip of the Washington Monument's shadow as it moves around like a sundial? Just another fun fact from Bill Nye.

    I used to know a man who kept tigers and bears (including the bear that played Baloo in the live-action version of The Jungle Book). He fed them stale cakes from Enteman's, a rather small national baked good chain. So based on our collective experiences, perhaps that sort of thing happens often.

    Grumpy: With all those preservatives, you could say that Hostess treats never truly get "stale"!

  5. grumpypilgrim says:

    "With all those preservatives, you could say that Hostess treats never truly get “stale”!"

    Or, we could also say they start out that way. 😉

    The National Zoo in DC was a big disappointment for me. I haven't been there in many years, but I remember it being an obsolete design, with the animals trapped in pens and cages, instead of in natural-seeming habitats. The pandas were the main attraction, so they had a fairly nice enclosure, but the other residents were not nearly so fortunate. Overall, I found it to be a depressing place, so I haven't been back there since.

    My favorite places in DC are the museums Ben mentions, the Corcoran gallery, and a small art gallery near Dupont Circle whose name I don't remember (it is the former home of a rich family that turned their house into a gallery for their art collection). The National Portrait Gallery and its neighboring American Art gallery are also nice to visit, if for no other reason than to get away from the crowds on the Mall. Another nice place that is off-the-beaten-track is, believe it or not, the Library of Congress. Its main reading room is an architecturally stunning space, though there is nothing to do there except read. Arlington Cemetery is another good place to go, especially with so many of our troops now dying overseas, though of course the mood there is somber (as it should be). Back on the Mall, the Hirshhorn has a fine sculpture garden and its indoor exhibits can often be good, too. The nice thing, of course, is that all the museums are "free" (i.e., paid for by our tax dollars), unlike galleries elsewhere in America that have all become discouragingly expensive. DC is unusual because the federal government wants to put on a good propaganda show for all the international visitors and diplomats who visit there.

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