America is unprepared for the Apocalypse

September 13, 2006 | By | 3 Replies More

According to The Onion, America deserves an “F” for “end-of-the-world preparedness.”

“More than “87 percent of Americans are unprepared to protect themselves from even the most basic world-ending scenarios, according to a study released Monday by the nonpartisan doomsday think-tank The Malthusian Institute.”

Despite “more than ample warning” for the most likely means of worldwide destruction, less than one million American households have taken even the simplest precautions against nuclear shockwaves, asteroid impact, or a host of angels bearing swords of fire, the study concluded…. “Almost no one is prepared for a sudden shift in the Earth’s polarity or the eating of the Sun and moon by evil wolves Skol and Hati during Ragnarok.”

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Category: Humor, Religion, Uncategorized

About the Author ()

Erich Vieth is an attorney focusing on consumer law litigation and appellate practice. He is also a working musician and a writer, having founded Dangerous Intersection in 2006. Erich lives in the Shaw Neighborhood of St. Louis, Missouri, where he lives half-time with his two extraordinary daughters.

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  1. Erich Vieth says:

    A related matter: The Center for Inquiry is making an "unprecedented offer to their fundamentalist fellow citizens: Live out your last days in cash-rich comfort before the Rapture hits."  Here's the link

    “We’ve been hearing about the coming Rapture for years now, so we decided to earmark thousands of dollars for the purchase of cars, boats, houses and other valuable assets,” said Center for Inquiry-West Executive Director James Underdown. “ We will pay 10¢ on-the-dollar for people’s (soon-to-be) meaningless earthly possessions — to anyone who truly believes the rapture is at hand.”

    Why are they offering to by the fundie's goods? Because "earthly goods will be of no use to the sellers who will have ascended to Heaven."

    “All we’re saying is ‘Put your money where your mouth is’”, Underdown added. “If you think this is really going to happen, we can help.”

  2. grumpypilgrim says:

    Channel-surfing the Christian television networks, one can quickly see that the more evangelical the preacher, the more likely he is to be wearing a custom-made suit and a fancy, French-cuffed shirt. Some even sport gigantic glittering rings on their fingers, and equally ostentatious cufflinks. For people who profess a religion of selflessness — one whose monks and nuns take vows of poverty — it's a striking contradiction. I even heard one preacher, during an interview, going to great lengths to justify his private jet airplane. "All for Jesus," he said. I can't help but notice their similarity to all other image-, money-, ego-driven salespeople — which is, after all, what they are. If they genuinely believed Jesus' return was imminent, they'd ditch their fancy outfits for sackcloth, and be on their knees praying for redemption.

  3. Kaylene Kamm says:

    So now jumping a motorcycle proves faith in God? Evel Knevel must be among the saints then. How stupid can a person be?

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