Intelligent Design, Inschmelligent Design: my first encounter with uncyclopedia.org

September 9, 2006 | By | Reply More

Maybe I’m the last to find out, but I just today stumbled upon an incredibly . . . well . . . provocative . . . wiki site: uncyclopedia.org.  How I got there I can’t actually recall.  Perhaps I stepped into a space-time warp. The article I first encountered was an official-looking article about that well-known scientific theory, “malevolent design.”  I hadn’t before encountered this theory, so I eagerly read the article:

Malevolent Design (or M.D.) is one of the leading theories in micro-miracology, the division of Creation Science which deals with the origin and development of microorganisms, including bacteria, viruses and fungal parasites. Beginning with the fundamental insight of Creation Science that the complexity of life is such that it must be the result of divine intervention, and employing the micro-miracological observation that pathogenic organisms change rapidly in order to defeat or circumvent the human immune system, the theory of Malevolent Design posits that the adaptation of human pathogens is the result of malevolent actions taken by an intelligent designer. Put simply, the theory explains that humans continue to become sick because God hates us.

Quite interesting, I thought.  I’ll have to tell mention this to grumpypilgrim, who thinks he is well read.  But why stop there?  I moved on to another topic that theory grumpy often does discuss, Intelligent Design

Intelligent Design, or as the French would say, L’Intelligent Design, is the absolutely true and totally scientific theory that the Universe is so gee-whizzy fantastic and mind-bogglingly complex that it could only have been designed and constructed by a really really really, really really smart engineer. We will call this engineer the Creator. It might be God…but it might not, and we’re not telling! That’s what makes it scientific!

That reminds me.  For those of us who hesitate to embrace the traditional description of God, here’s something for you.  You might be snarled at if you refer to yourself as an “atheist.”  That snarling occurs because many believers are angry that you don’t believe in anything.  Not true, according to this unencyclopedia article on “atheism.”  If you are an atheist, you obviously believe in “Athe“:

Atheism is often defined as a lack of a belief in God, which is clearly mistaken, because everyone believes in God. So instead, it is acutally a highly secretive religion devoted to private worship of the ultimate, all powerful goddess Athe.

Here’s another thing.  Until I consulted uncyclopedia.org, I didn’t know what to call that condition that I often see on the internet.  I now know it as PFD

Pixellated face disease (or PFD) is a strange and disturbing phenomenon whereby an individual’s face becomes blurred and blocky for seemingly no apparent reason.

Well, time to wrap this up.  I think I’ll check out some childrens books to not buy for my children.  Uncyclopedia.org has a good list to consult for that, “The Worst 100 Children’s Books of All Time.”

Here are some of those books you shouldn’t buy for your kids:

Everyone Shits
(USA 1991) The rejected version of the well-known potty-training book.
(also available the less popular: ‘nobody shits but you’ and the Catholic version ‘you’re a naughty child and that’s concentrated evil coming out your backside’)

You Were an Accident
(UK 2003)

Clifford Goes to Sleep
(USA, 2003) The final chapter in the tale of Clifford the Big Red Dog.

Thank you, unencyclopedia.org, for more than a few good laughs.

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Category: Evolution, Humor, Religion, Web Site

About the Author ()

Erich Vieth is an attorney focusing on consumer law litigation and appellate practice. He is also a working musician and a writer, having founded Dangerous Intersection in 2006. Erich lives in the Shaw Neighborhood of St. Louis, Missouri, where he lives half-time with his two extraordinary daughters.

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