Tag: Onion

Existential Ape

March 27, 2013 | By | 1 Reply More

This is the funniest Onion News Network report I’ve ever seen. It’s been around for awhile, but I just discovered it.


Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday

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The Onion presents the formula for bullshit stories

March 13, 2010 | By | Reply More
The Onion presents the formula for bullshit stories

A few weeks ago, I posted on a terrific video on a tried-and-true formula, “A Standard News Report,” used by television “news” stations to package non-stories in order to present them to the public as “news.”

Now, The Onion has presented its own version of packaging used by television “news” stations for presenting non-stories as “news” stories. Quite funny, yet serious and well-concocted. The Onion’s video looks like a news story about non-news stories, yet it presents a topic that is certainly newsworthy.


Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

Speaking of The Onion, check out a new written Onion story on bigotry. Here’s an excerpt:

A coalition of the nation’s most fervent bigots convened in Washington Monday to address growing concerns that the production of hateful new racial slurs has failed to keep pace with the rise in mixed-race births.

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The Onion: New law bans loveless marriages

February 15, 2010 | By | Reply More
The Onion:  New law bans loveless marriages

Controversial new law bans marriages except between people who actually love each other:


New Law Would Ban Marriages Between People Who Don’t Love Each Other

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The Onion: Bald Eagle frustrated at sterotyping

February 4, 2010 | By | Reply More
The Onion:  Bald Eagle frustrated at sterotyping

According to The Onion, an American bald eagle has spoken out, frustrated that so many people assume that he is pro-war.

Frustrated by the widely held assumption that he unequivocally endorses the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, a bald eagle said Monday that his thoughts on the conflicts were far more nuanced than many Americans might expect. Speaking to reporters from his nest in the upper branches of a 175-foot ponderosa pine tree, the eagle explained that each member of his species was different and none should be taken for granted as a lockstep supporter of American military policy.

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The Onion reports on newly passed abortion laws

January 28, 2010 | By | Reply More
The Onion reports on newly passed abortion laws

The Onion Network News has issued this report on a slew of new laws aimed at preventing abortions.


New Law Requires Women To Name Baby, Paint Nursery Before Getting Abortion

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George W. Bush has a chuckle that he was actually president.

September 21, 2009 | By | Reply More
George W. Bush has a chuckle that he was actually president.

The Onion reports that George W. Bush has been having a chuckle or two thinking that he was President for eight years:

Witnesses said the former president’s chuckling grew even stronger as it dawned on him that, for eight straight years beginning in January 2001, he had the power to nominate executive and judicial officers to the federal government, as well as grant unlimited presidential pardons and reprieves if he so desired.

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Facebook stalking by parents

September 11, 2009 | By | 1 Reply More
Facebook stalking by parents

Should parents stalk their kids on Facebook? The Onion reports:


Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids

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Conspiracy theorist convinces Neil Armstrong that moon landing was hoax

August 31, 2009 | By | 1 Reply More
Conspiracy theorist convinces Neil Armstrong that moon landing was hoax

This is quite amazing. A conspiracy theorist has now convinced astronaut Neil Armstrong that claims of moon landings are hoaxes. The Onion reports:

Apollo 11 mission commander and famed astronaut Neil Armstrong shocked reporters at a press conference Monday, announcing he had been convinced that his historic first step on the moon was part of an elaborate hoax orchestrated by the United States government.

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The Onion on Health Care

August 19, 2009 | By | Reply More
The Onion on Health Care

The Onion is now weighing in on health care reform. The title to the Onion’s article says it all: “Congress Deadlocked Over How To Not Provide Health Care.”

It’s well worth a read, if you like humor with an especially sharp edge on especially serious topics.

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