Help! There’s a skeleton inside my body!

March 6, 2008 | By | 10 Replies More

I recently went to the doctor because I have had pain in my back and left side.  The doctor sent me down to a diagnostic office for X-rays.   When those x-rays came back, my doctor thought he saw evidence of a pinched nerve.   But that’s not what I saw when I saw the X-ray results.    What I saw was that

There’s a big skeleton inside of my body!

It’s one of those big creepy skeletons much like you’d see on Halloween or in a horror movie.  I’m not speaking metaphorically.   I’m talking about a real skeleton.  Apparently, this skeleton inside of me moves about when I move about.  It imitates me.  When I walk, it walks.   It has a hideous grin.  The doctor tells me that it is white in color, just like the skeleton bones you hear about in graveyards.  

cervical-oblique-2-shows-narrowed-c5-7.jpg

I don’t think life will ever be the same for me.  I don’t quite know what to do about this.   Should I admit to my friends that I have this condition?  Would they be able to handle that I have a skeleton in my body?  Will they start seeing me as some sort of animal?  Should I seek out a support group?  What else is inside of my body?  Bats? Ghosts? Living things that don’t even share my DNA?  This is creeping me out to have this bony alter ego.

I’m beside myself.

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Category: Medicine, Whimsy

About the Author ()

Erich Vieth is an attorney focusing on consumer law litigation and appellate practice. He is also a working musician and a writer, having founded Dangerous Intersection in 2006. Erich lives in the Shaw Neighborhood of St. Louis, Missouri, where he lives half-time with his two extraordinary daughters.

Comments (10)

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  1. Meagan says:

    Ray Bradbury, is that you!

  2. Ben says:

    You got some metal in your mouth or sumpthin'

    and the letter "r" seems to have worked its way into your clavicle…

    I wonder if maybe you need some kind of exercise regimen, which utilizes your upper body… lets those (sore/pinched) back muscles get a little workout, like some push ups… maybe work your way to some handstands… yoga, gymnastics, anything to get that area active. but watch out if it flares up… massage, heat, anti-inflammatory drugs should help.

  3. Sylvie says:

    Don't be silly. You're not beside yourself; you're inside yourself.

  4. Erich Vieth says:

    Ben: that's some high-priced dental work you've spied in my mouth (caps and crowns).

    This X-ray is certainly revealing, maybe too revealing. Worse than that classic bad dream where you are naked in public and everyone's laughing at you.

  5. Dan Klarmann says:

    It looks like c6-7 is where you're pinched. Also, I'd never noticed anyone's hyoid before.

    All that metal along your teeth really is striking!

  6. Alison says:

    I LOOOVE looking at x-rays and MRIs of my insides. I find it amazingly cool. If it weren't so expensive (and unnecessary) I'd go in for one of those full-body scans just to get a good look at everything.

    Erich, I will have to show this to my hubby – he'll be happy to see he's not the only person on earth with such an impressive collection of dental work.

  7. Erich Vieth says:

    To those who have mentioned my extensive dental work, I offer this advice: Starting when you're young, brush your teeth often and remember to floss them too. Too bad I didn't do a good job of it when I was younger. On the other hand, modern dentistry is amazing.

  8. Maybe I should jump to Erich's defense (just this once :D). A while ago I had a talk with two guys who had quite a lot of problems with their teeth. Both assured me that they brushed their teeth a lot, used dental floss and had done everything to take care of their teeth, but seems like their genetic disposition for bad teeth was stronger. I felt a bit of pity for one of the guys, especially since he was so stoic about it, when he said that he was looking forward to having false teeth one day, because his teeth were causing him so much pain and after a couple of root canal treatments he was just fed up with them.

    Here's a discussion about the effect of fluoride for your teeth:
    http://www.badscience.net/?p=611

    Did you use tooth paste with fluoride as a kid, Erich?

  9. Erich Vieth says:

    I'm still having pain due to a pinched nerve. I consulted a surgeon today. We were looking at my x-rays and I commented that it is unnerving to see three of my vertebrae looking so deformed. He replied, "these pictures are typical of 50 year olds. What you see in these x-rays are the gray hair of the spine."

    The good news is that I have no need for surgery, and I'll keep trying to work through this thing. Over the past 9 months I have gained incredible amounts of sympathy for people who are in chronic pain, including those with pinched nerves. I have several options and my lifestyle hasn't been dramatically changed. There are lots of people much worse off than me–people who go to sleep in severe pain every night and wake up in severe pain every morning. I can't imagine dealing with that. I'm very lucky.

  10. John says:

    SO MUCH WIN! Im right with you man. This thing is really creeping me out!

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