The precise anatomy of the modern Republican brain.

| March 2, 2008 | 11 Replies

I’ve spent a lot of time studying Republican political anatomy.   You see, I’m not only an armchair anthropologist, but I’m a social neuro-surgeon (a brand-new expertise, created today).   After careful review of all available relevant data, I have developed a precise chart (click on the thumbnail below) detailing each of the major features of the modern Republican brain.  

No, you won’t find “Iraq” on this anatomical diagram, even though it reveals each of the major neural substructures found in the modern Republican brain.  That’s because the modern Repubublican has developed relatively recently.  No specialized “Iraq” module has thus had time to evolve. You will nonetheless find each of the brain structures that, working together, compel the instigation of multiple fear-induced, needless, destructive, ineptly planned, corrupt and potentially non-ending military conflicts in the Middle East. 

Whenever sufficient numbers of these malignant features are found in the brains of those who hold substantial political power, one can expect the atrophy of an entire country, absent immediate and dramatic political resuscitation. 

Without further ado, here it is.  Just click on the thumbnail for all the gory details:

                                  republican-brain-lo-res.jpg

If you’d like to review some fascinating and rigorous psychological data of what it means to be a conservative, check out this post regarding a study by Frank Sulloway or this post considering the work of psychologist Jonathan Haidt.

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Category: American Culture, Bigotry, Civil Rights, Corruption, global warming, Iraq, law and order, Meaning of Life, Military, Politics, Psychology Cognition, Religion, Reproductive Rights, Science, Sex, The Middle East, War, Whimsy

About the Author ()

Erich Vieth is an attorney focusing on consumer law litigation and appellate practice. He is also a working musician and a writer, having founded Dangerous Intersection in 2006. Erich lives in the Shaw Neighborhood of St. Louis, Missouri, where he lives half-time with his two extraordinary daughters.

Comments (11)

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  1. Electro Dude says:

    Just when I thought stereotypical bigotry was dead, along comes this. Perhaps as the next installment, we could all be treated to an anatomy of the modern African-American brain, or perhaps the modern homosexual brain, or throw a little antisemitism into the mix, and treat us all to an anatomy of the modern Jew brain. I'm sure the results will be equally enlightening.

  2. Erich Vieth says:

    Electro Dude: I have no reason to think that I could create such a anatomy chart for the other groups you mention. There is no basis for doing that (perhaps you feel that way, which might make you the bigot).

    My Republican brain diagram was based on two real-life sources of information: A) Government policies enforced by the Bush Administration, the Congress and the Supreme Court over the past 8 years (the technical Democrat majority of Congress over the past 3 years has done almost nothing to stem that tide); and B) Words out of the mouths of many of the Republican candidates for President.

    You're right, of course, that not ALL Republicans have affirmatively promoted ALL of these programs. I'll admit for the record that Ron Paul had the courage to speak up against current U.S. policy regarding Iraq. Other than Paul, though, it's been lean pickings.

    All of those Republicans who have sat on their hands in silence while more vocal Republicans have furthered the policies on the "Anatomical Chart" are guilty by omission (at a minimum). By their silence and by their votes, they allowed the current dysfunctional government to exercise power, doing great damage to the United States in the process. For details, read the Dangerous Intersection posts in the "Politics" category, as well as many other categories.

  3. jluckione says:

    I found yself agreeing with most of your other writings, but this is bigotry at it worst.

  4. The thing that makes this not bigotry is that there is no implication that these benighted Republicans are born this way. It's a learned set of attributes and can be unlearned. There is no "Republican gene" that dictates predisposition neurophysiologically. These are all acquired traits and therefore do not define a biologically inevitability.

    Like all unsophisticated detractors, the charge of bigotry here is based on a philogenic fallacy.

  5. Cyberian says:

    You have most of it right with the exception of the volume; its greatly over stated, and in this case size matters a lot!

  6. chris says:

    Haha this is so whats the word…. not funny (well parts of it are, I will admit). Seeing as how you appear to be as left as it gets my question to you if if us Republicans are so bad and greedy then why did the largest supporter of Obama's campaign also end up being the corporation he turned against (tho he really didn't.. I know confusing for you small minded democrats). BP was the largest supporter of Obama's campaign and yet he is telling them they will pay for this, but in reality BP doesn't owe sh!t. It's Obama's fault that he didn't force stricter regulations on the oil platforms.

    Tho by now with all of the dems screwing up you are probably regretting putting this up (i would too) Andy question to you is if Republicans are so stupid then how was I able to turn my entirely left teacher (I'm 16) into a independent, and prove his history (yes he was a well respected history teacher) wrong throughout the history lesson of America?

    – sent from my Droid incredible

    • Erich Vieth says:

      Chris: I'm tempted to create a diagram of "The Anatomy of the Democrat brain," that will be equally scathing.

      Keep in mind that BP has showered its corrupt money on many members of Congress, including lots of Republicans. http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE64420A20100

      Also keep in mind that ""the $71,051 that Obama received during the 2008 election cycle was entirely from BP employees. … Obama did not accept contributions from political action committees, so none of this money is from BP's PAC." http://mediamatters.org/research/201006100021

      As far as your teacher, I would say that we should ALL be independents. We should never let loyalty to a group change our view of what is morally or politically correct.

  7. Chris

    This should not be necessary to point out, but maybe it is. Being Left is not the same as being a Democrat. Just as being Conservative is not the same as being a Republican. I don't believe it is inaccurate to say that the current Republican Party gave up representing genuine conservatives a long time ago and now truly is the party of big business and big money.

    I no longer know what the Democratic Party represents (if I ever did) but clearly not progressives or the Left. I keep voting for them only because they stand between a Republican drive to undo everything socially responsible and what I consider a worthwhile civilization. I wish I had better grounds for supporting Democrats, but to date it has been a defensive reaction on my part. The shredding of constitutional freedoms happened under the GOP of the last decade. That Obama had gutlessly continued some of those same policies beggars the imagination.

    But there is a retrograde mindset that is consistent with this diagram that constantly seems to ally itself to the GOP. Coincidence?

    • Erich Vieth says:

      Mark: Your position is much like mine. To the extent that I've voted for Democrats, it's to keep the GOP from fully enacting "free market fundamentalism" as the next Constitutional Amendment.

  8. Jane says:

    You know; perhaps you guys are right. Perhaps completely judging a person based upon their political affiliation isn’t bigotry. After all, the definition of bigotry is: “the intolerance and prejudice of a bigot” (according to http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=bigo…. And of course, the definition of a bigot is: “a prejudiced person who is intolerant of any opinions differing from his own.”

    So perhaps, bigot is too harsh of a word. I would think that the word discrimination is more appropriate. The definition of ‘discrimination’ being “unfair treatment of a person or group on the basis of prejudice.” (According to http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=disc….

    Or perhaps you’re being discriminatory – prejudiced “being biased or having a belief or attitude formed beforehand”

    Or, on that same note, perhaps you are being prejudice: “prejudice – An adverse judgement or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge of the facts; Any preconceived opinion or feeling, whether positive or negative; An irrational hostile attitude, fear or hatred towards a particular group, race or religion”

    All of these words may apply in an appropriate matter.

  9. Ryan says:

    Jane:

    I'd be apt to believe you if there weren't a "SOCIALIST BRAIN OF A LIBERAL DEMOCRAT" picture out there.

    How about you go to the makers of that picture and let them know everything you said here?

    And lets be honest here, Jane, who doesn't have a prejudice in this day and age? We just hide it better is all.

    Chris:

    Republicans have shown themselves to be incompetent, greedy and ineffectual. From Nixon, Reagan and both Bushes. If you close your mind to the idea of voting for the PERSON and not for the PARTY (Like it seems you do, considering you call yourself a republican) then you will constantly be disappointed by the outcome. We need to hold BOTH parties accountable for the massive screw ups over the past 35 to 40 years.

    With regards to your teacher, I find it very difficult that a "Highly Respected History Teacher" would allow himself to be schooled by a Wet Behind the ears kid in his own element. Sorry, I think I have to call BS on that one.

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