Faux News Report: Fanatics against Ruminant Terrorism

I offer this report from Missouri-Faux News: Missouri residents outraged over recent deaths and injuries to Missouri motorists in collisions with deer have banded together to form Fanatics against Ruminant Terrorism (FART). Missouri FART Spokesman, former State Senator Chuck Purgason, had this to say: “Look, I know my only claim to fame is making fart noises during Governor Holden’s State of the State speech but, we have to stop these ruminant terrorists roaming Missouri from killing and maiming our citizens willy-nilly!” FART was started by Purgason and other concerned fanatics to put an end to vehicle and deer collisions in Missouri. There are thousands of collisions yearly between deer and motorists and Missouri, some resulting in deaths. Nationally, there were nearly 1.1 million collisions between deer and vehicles between July 10, 2010 and June 30, 2011.  See here and here. FART has put out a publication called FART News which details the dangers of ruminant terrorism in Missouri.

It’s mostly about sex” says FART spokesman Purgason. “In the latter parts of November, deer go into rut and forget about anything except getting laid and commit suicide by abandoning any caution in their pursuit of coitus.

FART News also details many accidents in Missouri that have resulted in death or other serious injuries involving collisions between deer and vehicles. FART also issues cautionary instructions for avoiding deer bent upon suicide attacks upon Missouri motorists. [More . . . ]

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Tebow, schadenfreude and blasphemy

I barely follow professional football these days, but I've heard enough about Tim Tebow to be annoyed. I'm not annoyed that he has played well this season or that he appears to be a generous and kind-hearted fellow. I'm annoyed because he insists that the alleged Creator of the Universe cares about American football. If this were at all true, what does that say about this "God," given that He has a lot of unfinished work to do healing the sick and helping to feed starving children? How would you characterize an allegedly omnipotent and omniscient God who would choose to watch professional football while even one or two children were dying from preventable causes such as the lack of food? The word "miscreant" comes to mind, because it's not only one or two children: More than 16,000 children starve every day. And how difficult should it be for an adult quarterback to figure out that the Creator of the Universe wouldn't actually hover around at American sports stadiums on the third planet from the Sun on Sundays? For the above reasons only, I was delighted to hear that Tebow and his team were thrashed by the New England Patriots yesterday. Maybe Tebow can figure out during this off-season that what he does for living is merely entertainment--it isn't notable by any cosmic standard. Maybe he can figure out that if the Creator of the Universe has a to-do list, it doesn't include caring about football games. Perhaps it's not fair to pick on Tim Tebow, because he's merely the most recent prominent athlete to assume that God cares about his performance on the field. But he has done an especially good job of bringing attention to himself based on his allegedly close relationship with "God," so I'll continue with this rant. [More . . . ]

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Imagine a family running its budget like the federal government

What good can one say about a family that, year after year, pays for 43% of its budget with borrowed money? Here's a simple and shocking way of comparing the federal budget with a family budget. Many more facts and figures about the United States debt here.

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Why our electronic gadgets are so cheap.

Have you ever wondered how it is that our electronic gadgets, including iPhones are so cheap? According to Business Insider, it's because "they are built using labor practices that would be illegal in this country — because people in this country consider those practices grossly unfair." This story includes many details regarding the working conditions of the Chinese workers who make many of the gadgets that Americans consume.

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On respecting dead enemy soldiers

At the Washington Post, Sebastian Junger points out the contradiction made salient by the news that American Marines urinated on several dead Taliban fighters:

For the past 10 years, American children have absorbed these moral contradictions, and now they are fighting our wars. The video doesn’t surprise me, but it makes me incredibly sad — not just for them, but also for us. We may prosecute these men for desecrating the dead while maintaining that it is okay to torture the living. I hope someone else knows how to explain that to our soldiers, because I don’t have the faintest idea.

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