Power brokers displaying penises

The crack reporting team of The Onion once again catches a story that has been missed by all other media outlets: "World's Power Brokers Hold Annual Summit Where They Show Each Other Their Penises."

ST. MORITZ, SWITZERLAND—One hundred fifty of the world's most powerful people in the fields of politics, banking, business, and media met this past weekend at an exclusive Swiss resort for the 54th annual invitation-only summit where they show each other their penises.

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Did Anne Frank go to hell?

Now here is a question I'd never thought to ask. Not of myself, mind you. I discarded belief in any afterlife long ago. But it is a good question to pose to fundamentalist Christians. And so Rachel Evans did. Credit where due, I found it via the Friendly Atheist. If you read her post and comments, you see a lot of hemming and hawing from Chrisitans who believe a) in a kind, loving, and just God who b) sends everyone to hell except the most extreme sycophants. They try to have it both ways. In brief, yes, all Jews go to Hell. But when considering this actual young, innocent person, who was a victim of Martin Luther's plan enacted by a Catholic leader, they sputter.

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What to do with bullies

A chuckling acquaintance recently talked up a television show called "Bully Beatup. The idea of the show is that victims of bullies report the bullies to the producers of "Bully Beatdown." The show's host, Jason "Mayhem" Miller, offers the over-confident bully $10,000 to get into a cage with a highly-skilled mixed martial artist. In sum, then, the idea is to see a highly-skilled fighter beat the shit out of a neighborhood bully. There are some rules:

Each fight features two three-minute rounds: the first consists of grappling (no striking allowed), and the second round involves kickboxing. The bullies begin each round with $5,000 in potential earnings; each time the bully taps out in the first round, $1,000 of his potential earnings go to the victim, and if the fight is stopped in the second round by KO, TKO, or referee, the bully loses the entire sum. In the unlikely scenario that the bully can KO the MMA fighter, he wins money in addition to his first round earnings and the $5,000 from the second round.
If you're in a mood for schadenfreude check it out. This episode lays out the method of the payback, and presents the case of "Vince" the nightmare roommate. A highly confident 6 foot 7 Vince ends of facing an imposing fighter named Michael Westbrook, formerly an NFL wide receiver with tae kwon do and other martial arts training. I suppose that we need shows like this to serve as a counter-weight to less visceral approaches to conflict, such as love thy neighbor. This show is painful to watch, even when the bully gets what he has coming, but immensely memorable.

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