Rich man feels left out.
The Onion reports on a rich man who is feeling left out of the recession.
What . . . no pictures?
The Onion has yet another amazing scoop:
WASHINGTON—Unable to rest their eyes on a colorful photograph or boldface heading that could be easily skimmed and forgotten about, Americans collectively recoiled Monday when confronted with a solid block of uninterrupted text.
The true nature of money revealed
The Onion has just broken another big story:
The U.S. economy ceased to function this week after unexpected existential remarks by Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke shocked Americans into realizing that money is, in fact, just a meaningless and intangible social construct.
How confusing it must’ve been –
A friend forwarded this from The Onion. Thought DI readers would appreciate the findings, including this:
Members of the earth's earliest known civilization, the Sumerians, looked on in shock and confusion some 6,000 years ago as God, the Lord Almighty, created Heaven and Earth.
According to recently excavated clay tablets inscribed with cuneiform script, thousands of Sumerians—the first humans to establish systems of writing, agriculture, and government—were working on their sophisticated irrigation systems when the Father of All Creation reached down from the ether and blew the divine spirit of life into their thriving civilization.
The Onion examines Obama’s overuse of teleprompters
The ever-vigilant Onion Network News examines President Obama's apparent over-reliance on the use of teleprompters:
Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner