Onion Network News is reporting that President Barack Obama is already in the process of sitting down with each and every American worker to review his or her job performance. Not that there aren't some glitches in the process. Here's the Onion's report:
Obama To Hold Job Performance Review With Every American Worker
I felt sympathy for Mark Sanford at first. I did. Gone are the days when journalists would respect a politician's private life: it must be awful to live in the D.C. fishbowl. And, after all, he wasn't just screwing around. The guy fell in love. We can all relate to that. But Sanford lost me when he compared himself to King David. I mean, c'mon. King David? (Does that sort of thing really work with "values voters"? Do they think, Oh, yeah--Governor Sanford is just like King David, who was J.C.'s ancestor, sort of, and a great king and a really nifty songwriter, so let's let Sanford keep his job, at least until his son starts sleeping with his concubines--?) Talk about hubris. Anyhoo. Chris Kelly blogs for the Huffington Post and writes for Bill Maher and is, IMHO, one of the funniest men in America. Yesterday, on HuffPo, Kelly posted a piece about Sanford titled God is My Doorman, which highlights Governor Itchypant's egomania and translates some of his Godspeak. Enjoy. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chris-kelly/god-is-my-doorman-mark-sa_b_223472.html
How do you upgrade professional hockey in order to bring in more fans? The Onion Network News has all of the details. NHL Eliminates Sticks, Expands Goal Zone To Encourage More Touchdowns
NASA recently held an online contest to name the new ISS module (formerly known as Node 3). After more than a million votes cast, and despite winning the popular vote, Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert was denied his name on the module. NASA instead chose the name Tranquility. Bill Gerstenmaier, associate administrator for Space Operations said, "Apollo 11 landed on the moon at the Sea of Tranquility 40 years ago this July. We selected 'Tranquility' because it ties it to exploration and the moon, and symbolizes the spirit of international cooperation embodied by the space station." "We don't typically name U.S. space station hardware after living people and this is no exception," Gerstenmaier joked. "However, NASA is naming its new space station treadmill the 'Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill,' or COLBERT. Colbert announced the naming live on his show yesterday evening
Who needs PhotoShop? Not the people who created these images. This a fun collection well worth a visit.