A recent article in Scientific American explains the biology of why people are so willing to follow orders: Milgram's research tackled whether a person could be coerced into behaving heinously, but new research released Thursday offers one explanation as to why. In particular, acting under orders caused participants to perceive…
Eric Barker offer immense amounts of research in easily digested forms. His latest topic is on how to make love last - Lots of links to research and related topics. Excerpt:
You’re A Terrible Mind Reader: Stop assuming you know why they did something wrong. You don’t. Want the answer? Ask. Rose-Colored Glasses Are Good: If you’re going to try to read minds, assume the best. Otherwise, why the heck are you with this person? No Unspoken Rules: They can’t read minds either. Stop thinking “it’s obvious.” If it was obvious, you would not have this problem. Symbolic Meanings Confuse People: To you “being late” means “you don’t love me.” To them “being late” means “being late.” Clarify your interpretation or they’ll think you’re insane.
Eric Barker drew an interesting and compelling analogy. "Let’s see what parenting experts and hostage negotiators can teach us, and how it can make for a more peaceful, happier home."
This article at Psychology Today suggests that today's children are damaged by their parents' helicoptering:
In previous posts . . . I have described the dramatic decline, over the past few decades, in children’s opportunities to play, explore, and pursue their own interests away from adults. Among the consequences, I have argued, are well-documented increases in anxiety and depression and decreases in the sense of control of their own lives. We have raised a generation of young people who have not been given the opportunity to learn how to solve their own problems. They have not been given the opportunity to get into trouble and find their own way out, to experience failure and realize they can survive it, to be called bad names by others and learn how to respond without adult intervention. So now, here’s what we have. Young people,18 years and older, going to college still unable or unwilling to take responsibility for themselves, still feeling that if a problem arises they need an adult to solve it.
Consider whether we are capable of learning basic moral lessons. This in a reenactment of the Millgram experiment by the BBC. This video drives home the terrible things that human beings are capable of doing, even when not coerced, where they are merely requested to do these terrible things by an apparent authority figure. Massively unsettling.