National Crisis of Smartphone-Inflicted Loneliness Hurting our Teenagers

Jonathan Haidt and Jean M. Twenge warn that we need to separate teenagers from their smartphones:

Teenage loneliness was relatively stable between 2000 and 2012, with fewer than 18 percent reporting high levels of loneliness. But in the six years after 2012, rates increased dramatically. They roughly doubled in Europe, Latin America and the English-speaking countries, and rose by about 50 percent in the East Asian countries . . . All young mammals play, especially those that live in groups like dogs, chimpanzees and humans. All such mammals need tens of thousands of social interactions to become socially competent adults. In 2012 it was possible to believe that teens would get those interactions via their smartphones — far more of them, perhaps. But as data accumulates that teenage mental health has changed for the worse since 2012, it now appears that electronically mediated social interactions are like empty calories. Just imagine what teenagers’ health would be like today if we had taken 50 percent of the most nutritious food out of their diets in 2012 and replaced those calories with sugar. So what can we do? We can’t turn back time to the pre-smartphone era, nor would we want to, given the many benefits of the technology. But we can take some reasonable steps to help teens get more of what they need.

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Sam Harris’ Thought Experiment to Induce Gratitude

I heard this recently on Sam Harris' Waking Up App:

I noticed this at dinner the other night with my family. Everyone seemed to be in a fairly mediocre frame of mind. We were all in some way disgruntled or stressed out. I had a million things I was thinking about and I suddenly noticed how little joy we were all taking in one another's company. And then I thought, "If I had died yesterday, and could have the opportunity to be back with my family, I thought of how much I would savor this moment right now." And it totally transformed my mood. It gave me instantaneous access to my best self, and to a feeling of pure gratitude for the people in my life. Just think of what it would be like to lose everything, and then be restored to the moment you're now in. However ordinary. You can reboot your mind in this way. And it need not take any time.

This is spot on. It reminds me of a thought I often have after a near-catastrophe (e.g., someone almost running their car into your car on the highway). I tell myself:

This is the same result as if the accident DID happen and I suffered great bodily injury with no hope of fully recovery. But then a magic genie appears and offers to revers time, making sure the accident didn't happen. Two versions of the same result. This helps me appreciate my good fortune of almost being maimed in an accident rather than being angry that a reckless driver almost caused me to be badly injured.

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About Police Officers Aggressively Talking to Strangers. Why This has been Encouraged and What Can Go Wrong.

Matt Taibbi has reviewed Malcom Gladwell's book, published in 2019, prior to the George Floyd incdent. The title of Gladwell's book is Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know. Taibbi's article is "The Overlooked Factors in Police Abuse CasesCops take most of the blame, often deservedly, but the single-minded media furor of the last year has let other bad actors off the hook." Taibbi cautions that when things go wrong between police and those who identify as black, it's often about far more than race, and we need to consider the role of the politicians who encourage these frequent contacts between police and strangers. Sometimes, as in Ferguson, what is motivating these contacts is for profit policing.

Gladwell’s point seems to be that if you ask police to stop millions of cars and pedestrians, and instruct them to look for pretexts to conduct searches of all of them, police will override their “default to truth” and begin to see threats in innocent people everywhere. He’s trying to be understanding about scenes like the Encinia video, by asking readers to look at the policy context underneath that car stop.

The backdrop of the Ferguson, Missouri case, for instance, involved the strained finances of the city. As the Justice Department later found, “City officials routinely urge [police] to generate more revenue through enforcement,” which meant busting people not just for breaking the law but violating municipal order codes...

Individual police got most of the blame, and in some cases deserved it, but it’s politicians desperate for revenue or lower crime numbers who artificially heighten stranger contacts, jack up numbers of bogus summonses and tickets, and push people like Brian Encinia to fudge pretexts for thousands if not millions of stops and searches.

A percentage of those encounters will always go wrong, and when they do, it’s not always all about racism. It’s usually also about political stupidity, greed, and laziness, and a host of other problems our habit of reaching for simplistic explanations prevents us from understanding. Saying it’s all about race or white supremacy isn’t just inaccurate, it lets bad actors off the hook — especially city politicians and their upscale yuppie donors who vote for these interventionist policies, and are all too happy to see badge-wearing social janitors from middle-class towns in Long Island or Westchester take the rap when things go bad.

Gladwell concludes that “Sandra Bland is what happens when a society does not know how to talk to strangers,” but I think that doesn’t put it strongly enough. Bland is what happens when police spend too much time talking to strangers, and when the rest of us talk too little about why that is.

Gladwell opens the above talk (regarding his book) with this:

I wanted to talk a little bit about it a paradox about human communication which i think is extremely important and relatively under-recognized and that is that everything that is good and meaningful and powerful about a human communication has a price as it turns out I think the price is worth paying but I think sometimes we overlook the consequences of the fact that there is this particular consequence to effective communication.
The following excerpt is from a summary of Gladwell's book.
The problem at the heart of the two puzzles is that people assume that they can make sense of others based on relatively simple strategies. But when it comes to strangers, nothing is as simple as it seems.

There are three major strategies that people use to make sense of strangers:

People default to truth. People assume transparency. People neglect coupled behaviors.

These three strategies ultimately fail because they operate under the assumption that simple clues are enough evidence of a stranger’s internal thoughts or intentions. We will look at each of these strategies separately to see where they came from and why they often result in failed interactions with strangers.

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The Need for Absolute Moral Purity on Transgender Issues: The Story of Milli Hill

The story told by Milli Hill is stunning, disturbing and increasingly played out these days. Here the comment that caused her to become the object of intense hate by trans rights activists:

“Thanks. Good to see this post. I would challenge the term ‘birthing person’ in this context though, especially on international day to end violence against women. It is women who are seen as the ‘fragile sex’ etc, and obstetric violence is violence against women. Let’s not forget who the oppressed are here, and why.”

This comment was the match that lit the gasoline.

Hill recently tweeted:

Last Nov I expressed the view that obstetric violence is violence against women. It happens to women 'because they are female'. The resulting pile on was horrific. I've finally decided to tell my story and shine a light on this misogynistic bullying.

Hill is an eloquent and sensitive thinker and writer, but that didn't protect her. Despite being the target of a hate-fest, Hill is maintaining her position and her measured state of mind. I end here with this excerpt, but I highly recommend here article, "I Will Not be Silenced."

By sharing this story, I am aware I am laying it in front of you for your judgement. You may decide that my views about obstetric violence or the distinction between sex and gender are wrong. And that’s OK. It should be ok for us to hold different views and to respectfully discuss them. When we do so, it’s sometimes even possible to change people’s minds. Alternatively, we don’t change their minds, but our own clarity of thought benefits from the dialogue, and we develop and grow from the experience of sharing our views and disagreeing. We discover branches of thought we have not yet explored, we enter into grey areas, we see new perspectives. This is the kind of nuanced discussion that elevates humanity and promotes ideals such as peace, progress, growth and tolerance.

The opposite happens when we decide it is acceptable to mistreat, silence or bully people with whom we do not agree. It should never be acceptable to threaten individual’s livelihoods in the way that is currently happening to so many women. I can see that the tide is currently beginning to turn on this, as more women speak out – and this is my main motivation for speaking out. But I also hope that at some point there is a period of reflection on just how far the policing of women’s thoughts and opinions was allowed to go before anybody really noticed. To those of us in the eye of the storm, it felt completely dystopian, and this was exacerbated by the fact that the majority of people seemed to have no idea that a modern day ‘witch hunt’ was happening – or perhaps they did know, but looked the other way.

I also hope that people take time to consider why those who are being dragged to the pyre are not just women, but in most cases, lifelong left-leaning, open minded, educated and tolerant women, often with a history of supporting minority groups or working in areas concerned with justice and fairness. Either there is something in the water that has caused these usually rational and inclusive women to turn into hateful bigots overnight, or they have a point that’s worth listening to.

Meanwhile, J.K.Rowling stepped in to offer some words of support for Hill, somehow increasing her attractiveness as a target for venom:

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The Stoics and the Serenity Prayer

Have you ever noticed that one of the key tenets of the Stoics is essentially the Serenity Prayer?

The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own.

— Epictetus, Discourses, 2.5.4–5

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

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