Here is another chapter in this series of how to be a human animal. This is Chapter 25, which is a nice time to stop and invite a guest, so to speak. I want to feature musician Daryl Davis, who is one of my heroes. You'll find a more detailed version of his story here. A few days ago, Daryl appeared on Joe Rogan's show. Here is an excerpt from the conversation, where Daryl lists five things every human being seeks, no matter who they are and no matter what they look like:
Joe Rogan:
You're a brilliant musician. And you have personally converted a number -- more than 200 -- Ku Klux Klan members, Neo Nazis. I mean, we talked about these guys giving you their their clan outfits and retiring because they met you. And just because you had reasonable conversations and made them realize how stupid these ideologies are that they had somehow or another been captivated by,
Daryl Davis:
I mean, at the end of the day, you know, a missed opportunity for dialogue is a missed opportunity for conflict resolution. It's as simple as that. But it's not just having a dialogue or a conversation or debate. It's the way that we communicate that makes it effective. For example, I've been to 61 countries on six continents I've played in all 50 states. All that is to say that I've been exposed to a multitude of skin colors, ethnicities, religions, cultures, ideologies, etc. And all of that has shaped who I've become.
Now, all that travel does not make me a better human being than somebody else. It just gives me a better perspective of the mass of humanity. And what I've learned is that no matter how far I've gone from our own country, right next door to Canada or Mexico, or halfway around the globe, no matter how different the people I encounter may be--they don't look like me, they don't speak my language, they don't worship as I do, or whatever. I always conclude, at the end of the day, that we all are human beings. And as such, we all want the same five core values in our lives. Everybody wants to be loved. Everybody wants to be respected. Everybody wants to be heard. We all want to be treated fairly. And we all basically want the same things for our family as anybody else wants for their family.
And if we learn to apply those five core values, when we find ourselves in an adversarial situation, or a culture or society in which we're unfamiliar, I can guarantee you that the navigation will be a lot more smoother.
Even though you are a hypothetical baby, you will need to start figuring out what you are going to do with your presumably long hypothetical life. That is today's topic.
Louis CK has a bit where he says that older people like me have it easy, because we have most of our life behind us—maybe I’ll only need to buy one more coat in my last 25 years or so. A youngster like you, however has a ton of decisions to make over a period of decades, so how will you make use of this life you have been given? I'm trying to teach you things that I did not know while I was growing up, but I’m out of my league here. This will totally be your life, not mine at all. I’m only here to offer some navigation tools, not a purpose, not a “meaning of life” for you. By the way, all of these lessons (soon to be 100) can be found here.
But, again, we need to focus on your personal challenge: what you should do with your life. Perhaps this will remain a nonstop question until you reach old age and look backwards. Yes. I'm sure of it. It would be too damned hard to answer this question when you are young, even when you are a young adult, because you will have no basis for making even a wild guess. You’ve barely started out and the rate of change of culture and technology has reached dizzying speeds lately. And it's really not fair to ask this question to someone who has never before lived a life. But people will ask you over and over and you'll probably say something. What will you say? Cat Stevens asked the question in a song that I love:
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time?
You're only dancing on this Earth for a short while
Oh very young,
What will you leave us this time?
The Cat's song made it sound like Life will be happy travels, but it might not be happy at all. You’ll find out, of course, but only by taking one step after another. And another and another, and then you’ll look back. And you’ll look in your mirror. And you’ll squint as you look forward. And you’ll look back again and again and it might or might not make any sense. You might love your life or you might hate it. You might even commit suicide. I wish you the best, of course, but this is not a rehearsal. You are now using live ammunition. As Shakespeare wrote in MacBeth, this is a tale told over and over. It's only fair that I tell you that life can be wonderful or dangerous (or some combination) and it has sad endings for many of us:
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
If you are lucky enough to get old and if you then look back at your life, you still might not understand why you did the things you did. Writer Harlan Ellison arrived at no such insights:
[My] fourth marriage just sort of happened: It seemed like a good idea at the time. In fact—and this is the core of all my wisdom about love—whenever we try to explain why we have done any particular thing, whether it’s buying T-bills or why we would live in a house in the mountains or why we took the trip to Lake Ronkonkoma, or whatever it was, the only rationale that ever rings with honesty is: “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” We’re really no smarter than cactus or wolverines or plankton; and the things we do, we always like to justify them, find logical reasons for them; and then you go to court later and the judge says, “Well, didn’t you know that it was doomed from the start?” I’m waiting for someone to say to the judge, “Because, schmuck, I’m no smarter than you."
From A Curmudgeon’s Garden of Love, Compiled and edited by Jon Winokur, p. 50 (1991).
I hope I haven't been away for too long! Even though you are a hypothetical baby my absence might have caused you to get hungry for another lesson! What I'm trying to do here is to help you navigate this convoluted world. I'm trying to teach you things that I did not know while I was growing up. I learned these lessons the hard way. You can find links to all of these (soon to be 100) lessons in one convenient place: Here.
Here's a couple mini-lessons. First of all, if someone wants you to offer some good advice but you can't think of anything, just offer them some of the wisdom of the Stoics of ancient Rome. Your audience won't even know that these writings are ancient. Here's another cool thing: Even though this is "philosophy," it is practical advice to help you in your daily life. This is the opposite of academic philosophy.
Check this out. One of the key tenets of the Stoics is essentially the Serenity Prayer. Epictetus writes:
The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own.
— Epictetus, Discourses, 2.5.4–5
Compare to the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
Here is another Stoic version of this same idea:
“Who then is invincible? The one who cannot be upset by anything outside their reasoned choice.”
— Epictetus, Discourses , 1.18.21
Why is this lesson so valuable? Because human animals screw this up so often! They need to hear this advice over and over, because we are wired to obsess and fret over things we cannot change. But here's a caveat: you shouldn't make excuses when you could change something but you are too lazy to put in the effort. You need to be honest with yourself about what you can change. Then get to work on something you can handle. Don't waste your life away by fretting and obsessing. Many things have changed over the past 2,000 years, but the wisdom of the Stoics is as relevant as ever.
Here's my favorite Stoic quote:
“The Obstacle Is the Way.”
Marcus Aurelius
Is it possible to fit more wisdom into such a short quote?
In our latest video, FAIR’s Dana Stangel-Plowe discusses the issues surrounding a new academic theory called “Culturally Responsive Education.” While intended to connect students with their educational material on a deep level, Stangel-Plowe explains how this new method achieves the opposite by assuming people who superficially look like one another must also think like one another.
[T]he idea of providing kids books that feature characters who look like them feels intuitive as a way to connect them to the material; but building curriculum around students’ skin color, ancestry, or gender raises serious questions about the very purpose of education in our diverse and pluralistic nation.
By making assumptions about what will engage students based on race or immutable traits, CRE is racist. The idea that all people who share the same group identity would also share the same interests, experiences, or beliefs is reductive and demeaning to the unique human beings in that group.
Despite what some of its proponents would have us believe, CRE is much more than simply a framework for student-centered learning and a celebration of different cultures and cultural ways of knowing. CRE’s focus on “power dynamics,” “social change,” “liberation,” and “equitable outcomes” plainly reveal that critical pedagogy is baked into CRE. Critical pedagogy, popularized by Paolo Freire, is the Marxism-derived school of critical theory applied to education. Thus, it designates K-12 classrooms as the place to start a revolution to dismantle the dominant power structures—meaning our current systems of liberal democracy. Critical pedagogy is explicitly a political ideology—similar to other illiberal ideologies that focus on “liberation” and seek equality of outcomes—aiming to turn students into revolutionary activists.
With CRE becoming widespread, we must consider: Is there a better way to leverage student engagement for success across cultures? And, most importantly, how do we ensure that all students, regardless of their group identities, become “classroom insiders” without dehumanizing them or flattening them into stereotypes—and without replacing learning with activism?
It seems that we are mastering the art of slicing and dicing people culturally in much the same way that Google, Facebook and Amazon are using Billy Ball analytics on their customer bases. I see no problem categorizing people by their interests, such as knitting, pickle ball or art. The problem is with dividing people by irrelevant categories, such as the way they look or (often) the place where they were born. CRE assumes that people are "stuck" in these irrelevant categories and they they want more and more of the same. As Stangle-Plowe states, this is insulting and destructive. I'm proud to say that I am constantly learning many wonderful things from people who look different than me. I'm also proud to say that I don't obsess over what a person looks like. CLE is a well-meaning but destructive to the American Dream that we are one people who can work and play together. E pluribus unum.
Evaluating people based on superficial characteristics is inaccurate and lazy. We need to avoid all miscategorizations, of course. Because people are extremely complex, it makes no sense to judge them on "race," sex or national origin any more than it would to determine who they are based on astrology.
Our cultural dysfunction based on insanely off-target miscategorizations needs to be cut off at the root, as suggested by Sheena Mason:
a nonpartisan organization dedicated to advancing civil rights and liberties for all Americans, and promoting a common culture based on fairness, understanding and humanity.
Based on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s Principles of Nonviolence
Exercise Moral Courage. Telling the truth is a way of life for courageous people. Peaceful change cannot happen without a commitment to the truth.
Build Bridges. We seek to win friendship and gain understanding. The result of our movement is redemption and reconciliation.
Defeat Injustice, Not People. We recognize that those who are intolerant and seek to oppress others are also human, and are not evil people. We seek to defeat evil, not people.
Don’t Take the Bait. Suffering can educate and transform. We will not retaliate when attacked, physically or otherwise. We will meet hate and anger with compassion and kindness.
Choose Love, Not Hate. We seek to resist violence of the spirit as well as the body. We believe in the power of love.
Trust in Justice. We trust that the universe is on the side of justice. The nonviolent resister has deep faith that justice will eventually win.
Chapter 19: The Astounding Sameness of Human Animals
Hello again, hypothetical baby who I am striving valiantly to help by imparting thick gobs of hard-earned wisdom. This is Chapter 19 of a series of writings that some people doubtless feel is way too long already. Yet this is ONLY Chapter 19 and I will keep imparting until I get to Chapter 100. You can find all of the finished chapters listed here.
Baby, you and I have spent a lot of hypothetical time together, that’s for sure. And I’ve come to like and respect you, even though you have yet to say a single word. Sure, it’s not an ideal conversation, but you, in your unlimited hypothetical patience are allowing me to process and share some of the ideas I had to learn the hard way. Today I’m going to break some important news to you: You are not special in the grand scheme of things.
I know. I know. You would silently protest at this point if you had any understanding of what I was saying to you. I will now address your hypothetical objections. Yes, I know that you are special in the sense that you wouldn’t have been here at all unless the sperm that helped create you was the fastest swimmer out 200 million sperm. Sure, let’s have a round of applause for that sperm! And yes, that is interesting that you wouldn’t have been born if any one of your 1,000 great great great great great great great great great grandparents hadn’t had sex at exactly the right day and hour. I’m not going to hit you with a low blow, explaining that if you hadn’t been born, someone else would probably have been born instead of you. It seems so crass to say that, but look, there are almost 8 billion people on this planet and those things that you think make you "extraordinary" are also true of everyone else. Further, we ain’t hurtin’ for people. You want people, we’ve got lots and lots of people here on this planet.
So yes, you are lucky that you actually made it onto this planet, but that doesn’t make you any more special than the other 8 Billion. If Martian Anthropologists watched us from afar, I absolutely guarantee that they would never ever write in their green-colored journals that you, or anyone else, was special. To them, we would look like a bunch of ants running around. Getting born, growing, procreating and dying by the millions. Take a look at the World-o-Meter. Today so far, there have been 375,000 births but only 157,657 deaths. So far this year, 23 Million people have been born and 9,986,531 have died.
Those Martians would look at each other and exclaim only this: “Will you look at all of those human animals!” before taking a big scoop of us in the middle of the night (only a few hundred thousand, so the rest of us don’t notice) and taking them back to Mars to use on scientific experiments.
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perspective of the mass of humanity. And what I've learned is that no matter how far I've gone from our own country, right next door to Canada or Mexico, or halfway around the globe, no matter how different the people I encounter may be--they don't look like me, they don't speak my language, they don't worship as I do, or whatever. I always conclude, at the end of the day, that we all are human beings. And as such, we all want the same five core values in our lives. Everybody wants to be loved. Everybody wants to be respected. Everybody wants to be heard. We all want to be treated fairly. And we all basically want the same things for our family as anybody else wants for their family.