Why are there so many synonyms for poop?

I don’t usually go around discussing poop.

That might have changed forever, though, once I stumbled upon smellypoop.com, a site dedicated to disseminating information about . . . well, poop.  Smellypoop.com is a refreshingly frank site presenting “solid” information on a subject that simultaneously compels and repels. 

For example, smellypoop.com addresses each of the following topics (as well as others):

  • What is poop made of?
  • Why does poop stink?
  • Why is bird poop white?
  • Are there people who eat poop?
  • Why does some poop float?
  • What Happens When I’m At WORK and I have to Poop? 

But there’s more.  Smellypoop.com provides comprehensive research on the topic of farts. You can order fake poop and poop-themed greeting cards at the site (click on “Order Fake Poop and Other Great Gifts”).  There is a poop forum and a poop photo gallery.   You’ll find poop poems, poop riddles, and poop sayings, including “Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day” (attributed to Harry S Truman).

What especially interests me, though, is the comprehensive list of poop synonyms at smellypoop.com.  There are hundreds of them.  Though I was already aware of dozens of poop terms (including the classic four-letter reference and oldie-but-goodie “number two”), I was woefully unaware of the vast number of poop synonyms.  Thanks to stinkypoop.com, my repertoire now includes terms like “blind eels,” “bootycakes,” “colon cobras,” “dookie-doop-droop” “mooky-stinks,” and the quaint but useful “pooplets.”

Why so many synonyms for a basic bodily function, I wondered?  Then it hit me: …

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Photograph of human soul entering an embryo

Would you like to see an actual photograph of a human soul entering an embryo at conception?  Here it is (with permission of the artist at Pixwit): To see the full-size high-rez photo, along with numerous other fascinating images, check out the collection at Pixwit.com.  Each image is accompanied with a…

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Why do they hate us? We still don’t care.

Shortly after 9/11, we asked why “they hate us.”  We still haven’t considered who “they” are, much less "why" "they" allegedly hate us.  At Alternet, Matt Taibbi has posted a sharp criticism of America's refusal to take this question seriously. Taibbi correctly notes that America versus the World (similarly consider American versus…

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‘Master’ Plan

I can’t get enough of Way of the Master Ministries. Way of the Master’s Biblical Evangelical movement, hosted in website, radio, and television format by former child actor Kirk Cameron and evangelist Ray Comfort, have swept internet culture recently, appearing in nearly equal footing on freethinking and faithful websites alike. Apparently, many other people get a kick out of Comfort and Cameron’s teachings, too; as of this February, Way of the Master has not only “witnessed” to tens of thousands of potential sheep, but the website’s evangelical methods have enrolled over 6,500 eager “students”.

Way of the Master’s gimmick hinges on its oddly friendly use of guilt and fear– like the fire-and-brimstone preachers of old, but nowhere near as menacing as “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God.” The website opens with this introduction by Cameron:

“Did you know that every day 150,000 people die? People just like you and me. Every twenty-four hours, 150,000 people pass from time into eternity. Do you ever think about that? Isn’t there something within you that says, ‘I don’t want to die!’? That is your God-given will to live. And we hope you listen to it, because we make some big claims on this site…”

Ray Comfort’s personal website, Living Waters, runs a constant counter of people who have died since you have opened up his page. Comfort also reminds us that, “The vast majority of those people are entering Hell.” These warm, fuzzy Christian thoughts prove …

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Bush’s pathetic words

Here’s what the president said Monday night:

“The safety of America depends on the outcome of the battle in the streets of Baghdad”

Here’s an exerpt from a well-written post by Robert J. Elisberg: 

Actually, no, it doesn’t. Anyone who thinks our safety “depends” on street fighting in Baghdad has a piss-poor, pathetic view of America and should be so ashamed that they stay in their room in disgrace. Of course, if they think that little of America, they probably are already hiding in their rooms.

Elisberg continues:

We’ve reached the point where the White House has become a scene out of the “Wizard of Oz.” A disembodied head blowing smoke and making ominous pronouncements, while begging us not to look at the little man behind the curtain.

The words are fantasy, the reality befuddled.

Here’s some more examples from Bush’s 9/11/06 speech, all of them equally pathetic:

We’re adapting to stay ahead of the enemy, and we are carrying out a clear plan to ensure that a democratic Iraq succeeds.  [Clear plan? Could you please remind us of the terms of this “clear plan”]

We’re helping Iraq’s unity government grow in strength and serve its people.  [It’s getting so good, that our military personnel are bringing their spouses and children over there to vacation while the soldiers are off-duty.  Oh, wait.  No,  I was thinking about Hawaii.]

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