The Onion has reported that the International Criminal Court at The Hague has “introduced a new ‘three strikes’ policy Monday that mandates harsher punishments for offenders receiving their third genocide conviction.”
Three strikes genocide policy
The Onion has reported that the International Criminal Court at The Hague has “introduced a new ‘three strikes’ policy Monday that mandates harsher punishments for offenders receiving their third genocide conviction.”
Dear Adolf,
We regret to inform you that your recent treatment of Jews in Poland will require us to enlist more soldiers to inflict a stricter interpretation of genocide on your actions. Unlike the first genocide offense, which we applied strictly to your Germanic ventures, we intend to enforce a more watchful eye on you after this second offense. Should you persist, and initiate a third campaign of genocide, be advised that we will become very serious and denounce you sternly as well as decide to find you.
The Austere, Emboldened, Authorized International Criminal Court.
PS: We are presently unable to contact Pol Pot or Saddam Hussein. Please pass on this message to them on our behalf.