Today I watched this video by comedian Bill Hader. The topic, struggling with anxiety, is a serious–sometimes debilitating–topic, but, as one would expect, Hader deals with it in a serious way. I know more than a few people who are imprisoned by their anxious thoughts. They are often letting life pass them by, which is tragic.

I don’t think I struggle more than most people with anxiety, but I know I can sometimes have anxious thoughts and these sometimes interfere with my ability to do my job (trial attorney) and deal with the other challenges of living life, which are, of course, ubiquitous. Lucky for me, I have never felt the need to take any medications. But I am always on the lookout for ways to tamp down those pesky and distracting anxious feelings.

I think Bill’s approach is a good one. He reframes his anxiety as a thing separate from him. His anxiety is a thing that he does not need to accept as a part of himself.

In this clip, Abigail Shrier points out potential environmental causes for anxiety in children. Interesting finding that I find unsurprising for the reasons she suggests. Lack of limits and rules (i.e., too much freedom) can be disorienting. I think we need foundational axiom in order to make sense of the world. They might not be perfect, but we need base assumptions of some sort or we become unanchored. We can’t reason at all without at least some anchors:  It’s the same thing with geometry, as Bertrand Russell discussed:

Before I began the study of geometry somebody had told me that it proved things and this caused me to feel delight when my brother said he would teach it to me. Geometry in those days was still ‘Euclid’. My brother began at the beginning with the definitions. These I accepted readily enough. But he came next to the axioms. ‘These’, he said, ‘can’t be proved, but they have to be assumed before the rest can be proved.’ At these words my hopes crumbled. I had thought it would be wonderful to find something that one could PROVE, and then it turned out that this could only be done by means of assumptions of which there was no proof. I looked at my brother with a sort of indignation and said: ‘But why should I admit these things if they can’t be proved?’ He replied: ‘Well, if you won’t, we can’t go on.’ I thought it might be worth while to learn the rest of the story, so I agreed to admit the axioms for the time being. But I remained full of doubt and perplexity as regards a region in which I had hoped to find indisputable clarity. In spite of these doubts, which at most times I forgot, and which I usually supposed capable of some answer not yet known to me, I found great delight in mathematics-much more delight, in fact, than in any other study.

From Basic Writings of Bertrand Russell, “Why I took to Philosophy,” p. 57.

In this clip, Shrier mentions research showing “Boys in liberal families have higher anxiety than girls in conservative families.”

In her book, Shrier states that obsessing about your inner depression and anxiety make those problems grow in you mind.

I have read excerpts from Shrier’s book and heard several of her interviews. I asked Grok to summarize Shrier’s main points on this topic and it did a great job:

In her book Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up (published February 2024), Abigail Shrier argues that young adults who obsess over their mental health, particularly Generation Z (born 1997–2012), may worsen their condition due to a culture that overemphasizes therapy and emotional self-focus. Her key points on this issue, based on her investigation and interviews with psychologists, parents, teachers, and young people, include:

1. Encouraging Rumination: Shrier contends that excessive focus on feelings—encouraged by therapists, schools, and parenting trends like “gentle parenting”—leads young adults to ruminate on their anxieties and sadness. This rumination can trap them in cycles of depression and anxiety, as they dwell on perceived traumas or minor emotional setbacks instead of moving forward. For example, she cites therapy practices that prompt young people to constantly explore “what might be wrong,” which can amplify distress rather than resolve it.

2. Pathologizing Normal Emotions: Shrier argues that the mental health industry and societal trends label normal challenges of adolescence and young adulthood (e.g., sadness, stress, or social struggles) as mental health disorders. This overdiagnosis convinces young adults they are inherently fragile or damaged, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy where they expect to need professional help to cope. She notes that 42% of Gen Z have a formal mental health diagnosis, yet their mental health is worse than previous generations, suggesting overtreatment may harm rather than help.

3. Seeking Sympathy and Attention: When young adults share mental health struggles, they often receive sympathy and attention, which Shrier says can incentivize exaggerating or prolonging issues rather than resolving them. This dynamic reinforces a victimhood mindset, discouraging resilience and independence. She argues that this attention-seeking behavior is exacerbated by social media and therapy-inspired cultural norms that reward emotional vulnerability.

4. Undermining Resilience: By fixating on their emotions, young adults are less likely to develop the emotional strength needed for adulthood. Shrier emphasizes that obsessing over “microaggressions” or minor slights prevents them from becoming “load-bearing walls” capable of supporting others. She contrasts this with cultures (e.g., Japan, Israel) where young people are given more independence, leading to better mental health outcomes.

5. Cultural Overreach of Therapy: Shrier criticizes the pervasive “therapeutic mindset” in schools, homes, and media, where young adults are taught to curate their emotions rather than challenge or repress them. She argues this mindset interrupts natural resilience processes, making young people feel helpless and afraid to grow up (e.g., avoiding driving, delaying moving out). She cites the example of a nurse asking her son about suicidal thoughts during a routine visit for a stomachache, illustrating how therapy-speak invades everyday life, normalizing extreme mental health concerns.

Impact on Worsening Conditions: Shrier asserts that this obsession with mental health, driven by well-meaning but misguided interventions, contributes to rising rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide among young adults. She highlights statistics like the 40% of Gen Z seeking professional care and the increasing antidepressant prescriptions for children, yet notes that these interventions correlate with poorer mental health outcomes. By treating normal struggles as illnesses, young adults become “emotionally stuck,” less interested in adult milestones like forming families or starting careers.

Solutions Proposed: Shrier advocates for less intervention, encouraging parents to foster independence by allowing natural consequences (e.g., letting kids face homework failures) and reducing reliance on therapists for typical challenges. She suggests teaching young adults to be skeptical of their emotions, as they can be unreliable, and to focus outward on responsibilities and relationships rather than inward on feelings.

Caveats: Critics, like those on Substack, note that Shrier sometimes overgeneralizes, lumping all mental health professionals together and underemphasizing cases where therapy is beneficial (e.g., severe mental illness). She also faces criticism for not being a clinician, though her supporters argue her journalistic approach highlights truths the mental health industry overlooks.

I then asked Grok to draw the parallels between Hader’s approach and Stoicism, which seem obvious. Here’s my query:

Comedian Bill Hader has spoken openly about his struggles with anxiety. He works hard to think of his anxiety as being separate from himself, something he can joke with and laugh at instead of assuming that it is part of him inextricably. This reminds me of stoicism and perhaps other approaches to anxiety. Could you comment please?

Another excellent response by Grok:

Bill Hader’s approach to anxiety—externalizing it as something separate to joke about—aligns with several psychological and philosophical strategies, including Stoicism, though it also echoes modern therapeutic techniques. Here’s a breakdown:

### Stoicism and Anxiety
Stoicism, rooted in the teachings of philosophers like Epictetus, Seneca, and Marcus Aurelius, emphasizes controlling what is within our power (our thoughts, attitudes, and reactions) while accepting what we cannot control (external events, including emotions like anxiety). Hader’s tactic of separating anxiety from his core self resonates with the Stoic idea of reframing emotions as external impressions that don’t define us. For example:

– **Epictetus** said, “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” By treating anxiety as a visitor rather than an intrinsic part of himself, Hader exercises this mental discipline, choosing to respond with humor rather than identification.

However, Stoicism doesn’t typically advocate humor as a tool—its tone is more serious, focusing on rational self-mastery. Hader’s approach feels like a modern, comedic twist on this framework, blending Stoic detachment with a performer’s instinct for levity.

### Other Approaches to Anxiety
Hader’s strategy also mirrors techniques from modern psychology and other traditions:

1. **Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)**:
– CBT encourages patients to challenge distorted thoughts and reframe their relationship with emotions. Externalizing anxiety, as Hader does, is a common CBT technique, often called “defusion.” By naming or personifying anxiety (e.g., treating it as a quirky character to joke with), individuals reduce its emotional weight and gain perspective. This aligns with Hader’s approach of not assuming anxiety is “part of him inextricably.”
– Research shows CBT’s effectiveness in anxiety management, with studies indicating 50-60% of patients experience significant symptom reduction after 12-20 sessions.

2. **Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)**:
– ACT, a CBT offshoot, emphasizes accepting emotions like anxiety without fighting them, then acting in alignment with one’s values. Hader’s humorous acceptance of anxiety—laughing at it rather than resisting—mirrors ACT’s focus on defusing negative emotions through mindfulness and perspective-shifting. ACT often uses metaphors (e.g., anxiety as a passenger on a bus you’re driving), which Hader’s comedic framing evokes.

3. **Buddhist Mindfulness**:
– In Buddhism, emotions are seen as transient phenomena, not the self. Mindfulness meditation teaches observing thoughts and feelings without attachment, much like Hader’s refusal to let anxiety define him. His playful detachment could be likened to a Zen approach, where humor and paradox often dissolve mental suffering.

4. **Narrative Therapy**:
– This approach involves “re-storying” one’s life by externalizing problems. Hader’s treatment of anxiety as a separate entity he can joke with is a textbook narrative therapy move, creating distance between his identity and the issue. This empowers him to engage with anxiety on his terms, as a comedian might.

### Hader’s Unique Spin
What makes Hader’s approach stand out is his use of humor, which isn’t a formal part of Stoicism or most therapies but is a powerful coping mechanism. Humor:
– Reduces physiological stress (studies show laughter lowers cortisol levels).
– Creates psychological distance, making anxiety feel less threatening.
– Leverages Hader’s strengths as a comedian, turning a personal struggle into a creative act.

This aligns with **existentialist** undertones too—Hader’s choice to laugh at anxiety reflects the absurd freedom to define one’s response to suffering, akin to Camus’ defiance in the face of the absurd.

### Broader Context
Hader’s openness about anxiety, shared in interviews like those with *The New York Times* (2022) and *Variety* (2023), also destigmatizes mental health struggles, especially for men in high-pressure industries like entertainment. His approach might inspire others to experiment with creative ways to manage anxiety, whether through Stoic detachment, therapeutic externalization, or humor.

### Conclusion
Hader’s strategy is a blend of Stoic detachment, CBT/ACT defusion, and his own comedic flair. By externalizing anxiety and laughing at it, he embodies a Stoic-like control over his reactions while using humor to make the process uniquely his own. This approach not only helps him cope but also offers a relatable model for others, showing that anxiety can be a manageable guest rather than an unshakable part of the self. If you’d like, I can dig deeper into Stoic texts, CBT studies, or Hader’s specific interviews for more detail.

[Supp June 2, 2025]

I’m posting the following for the stats. I am not suggesting that anyone should become a conservative because they are seeking improved mental health. In fact, as I have often written, I would urge everyone to be non-tribal as much as possible, embracing Enlightenment Principles as their guiding light.

Same data, interpreted by Robby Soave: