Here’s two things I love love love about big Zoom conferences:

1. You’re never forced to sit next to people who are talking and laughing with each other, distracting you while you’re trying to listen to the presentations. Whenever I tell them to shush they give me the look I once saw on Linda Blair’s face in “The Exorcist.” And they assume this mega-scowl for the duration of the session.

2. The Q&A is usually written. Thus, we are no longer subjected to all of those “questions” that begin “I’ll keep this short,” but turn out to be five-minute speeches disguised as questions. I’ve never hurt another soul in my entire life, but I’ve come closest to violating that rule when these people won’t shut-the-fuck-up. And most of these fake questions are by people who look like they have no friends. There! I said it. OK, I’m done. I feel better