Missing sorority sister spurs Onion news report
The Onion Network News is always on top of important breaking stories, such as this report concerning a missing sorority sister:
Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister
Standardized tests are biased against unmotivated students
The Onion continues to be on top of breaking news. This time, the story concerns the fact that standardized tests discriminate against students who don't care about schoolwork:
In The Know: Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don't Give A Shit?
The Onion: “Man already knows everything he needs to know about Muslims.”
The Onion has issued a new report from Salina, Kansas:
Local man Scott Gentries told reporters Wednesday that his deliberately limited grasp of Islamic history and culture was still more than sufficient to shape his views of the entire Muslim world. . . "I know all I'm going to let myself know."Here's the rest of the story.
The Onion: Teach the Controversy
The Onion reports that a new Kansas Court decision requires public schools to teach both sides of the controversy: Christian Groups: Biblical Armageddon Must Be Taught Alongside Global Warming If you want to display your opinion that we should teach the controversy, you can also buy one of these t-shirts from Teach the Controversy.
Boston newspaper tailors news for remaining readers
As always, The Onion is on top of this important story: Boston Globe Tailors Print Edition For Three Remaining Subscribers
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