Who is the holiest candidate, the one most likely to sit at God’s right hand? We need to know this now, of course, because the religious integrity of the White House is at stake! 

I beg you.  Let me be the one who cross-examines the GOP candidates on the topic of religion.  Why?  Because I insist on asking simple questions and I demand simple answers.  The disturbing information we already know is just the tip of the iceberg. I promise that I will be relentless and aggressive.  I’m ready to roll up my sleeves and get started.  No crucifix left unturned!  Where do I sign up? There are so many religious issues I would like to explore with the GOP candidates . . . 

Let’s start with Mitt Romney.  Mitt is working nonstop to convince us how incredibly important his religion is to him, but refusing to acknowledge any of his basic beliefs.  Why not, Mitt?  Are you afraid that the late night talk shows would tack on a laugh track when you explain the Mormon claim that Jesus walked about and taught American natives almost 2,000 years ago?  Or does it embarrass you that the great prophet Joseph Smith, who had 48 wives and stuck his face into a hat in order to interpret sacred writings?

Mitt, if you really believe the things most Mormons claim to believe, why not just tell us?  Are you hesitant, perhaps, because reputable archaeologists and anthropologists view the entire Book of Mormon as …