The Rev. Alberto Cutié, a popular Miami Catholic priest, gave up on celibacy. The Catholic Church busted him, though and threw him out. This move by the Church was probably because the U.S. branch of the Roman Catholic Church already has lots of young popular priests. You know, supply and demand.

A popular Miami priest and media personality known as "Father Oprah" has left the Catholic Church to become an Anglican after he was photographed cavorting on the beach with his girlfriend . . . He was received into the Episcopal Church, the U.S. branch of the Anglican Communion, in a ceremony Thursday at Trinity Cathedral and may later announce he will marry his girlfriend, which is allowed in that denomination.

I can think of a few extremely good reasons why the Catholic Church should prefer to have sexually satisfied priests instead of sexually frustrated priests. But the Church doesn't agree with me. And I suppose that God has clearly spoken that priests can't have sex. I understand that this prohibition is somewhere in the Bible . . . The Roman Catholic Church is that same church that still can't admit that a significant chunk of its clergy should be sitting in prisons for raping children. It's the same Church that disparages all efficient forms of family planning. It's the same Church that disparages women by barring them from being priests because they are . . . WOMEN. I know that a lot of us who were raised Catholic are privileged to enjoy sex extra-intensely because the Church taught us that sex is naughty. That extra enjoyment (if one can really call it that) is the silver lining of a huge dark cloud. It is hard to believe that an organization could be any more screwed up about sex than the Catholic Church. I don't understand why more U.S. Catholics don't simply walk away from Rome and form their own locally controlled churches. Here are a few founding principles I humbly offer to any U.S. Catholics who want to found their own churches: A) Don't disparage women, B) Don't be idiots about sex, C) Don't hire sexually frustrated priests.