You Can Live Without Toilet Paper — And Be Cleaner for It

As I watched stories of people hoarding toilet paper during the pandemic, wiping out entire stores, I felt secure that the meagre five rolls that I have in my own house would last me quite a while, even indefinitely.

Two years ago, I gave up most toilet paper use. I found something cleaner, cheaper, and more comfortable. It’s also more convenient, as I don’t have to keep buying it – at least not very often. I use a homemade bidet and I love it! I especially appreciate my bidet when I am stuck in bathrooms where toilet paper is my only option.

The bidet (pronounced bid-day) is a bathroom fixture that washes your crotch after you use the toilet.

In some countries, a bidet is a separate fixture that sits right next to the toilet. There are also many types of bidets that can be retrofitted to any toilet seat. Some are simple and other bidets are super fancy models with heated seats, warm water, adjustable jet sprayers and air dryer – all powered with a remote control. A bidet is like a car wash for your bottom.

I considered installing a simple bidet on my toilet, but then it occurred to me that bidets essentially squirt water. That’s not plumbing science. Lots of things can squirt water. I did a little research and found some squeezable plastic lab bottles with bent squirt nozzles. They were $4 each. Perfect. Then I went to a thrift store and found some cheap but luxuriously soft washcloths. Now before you get grossed out – bear with me. What I’m doing is way more hygienic than what you’re doing with toilet paper!

After peeing, instead of wiping with dry toilet paper, I rinse off with water from my squeeze bottle bidet and pat dry with a soft dry washcloth. The first time I tried my system, I was amazed at how much better and cleaner it felt than toilet paper. It was like walking out of a shower and toweling off. It’s kind of luxurious.

Ok . . . so what about pooping? I do use toilet paper for that, but just a fraction of the amount I used to use. When cleaning with a stream of water first, I only need a very small amount of toilet paper to finish the job. I have considered a system that uses dry washcloths for that too, and probably will. Having washed cloth diapers when my kids were little, I know that this system is doable and not anywhere near as gross as you’d imagine. I’ll get to that in a moment.

I use my squirt bottle bidet in my master bathroom and it was an easy experiment because I’m the only who uses that bathroom. The only thing keeping me from putting it my guest bathroom is that it’s a little awkward to tell guests how to wipe.

But change is initially changing a mindset and then changing habits.

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Coronavirus Misinformation and Lies Mean that It’s Time to Pull the FCC Licenses of FOX “News” Stations

What should be done about TV and Radio stations that have already endangered Americans by calling Coronavirus a hoax, claiming that it was simply like the flu, or the many other variations of these themes? The FCC licenses of such TV and Radio stations should not be renewed where such hoaxes and lies cause illness and death. Shouldn't we start taking the FCC standards seriously? FOX "News" should be concerned. Here is the FCC standard for denying a license renewal.

Broadcast Journalism

Introduction. As noted above, in light of the fundamental importance of the free flow of information to our democracy, the First Amendment and the Communications Act bar the FCC from telling station licensees how to select material for news programs or prohibiting the broadcast of an opinion on any subject. We also do not review anyone’s qualifications to gather, edit, announce, or comment on the news. These decisions are the station licensee’s responsibility. Nevertheless, there are two issues related to broadcast journalism that are subject to Commission regulation: hoaxes and news distortion.

Hoaxes. The broadcast by a station of false information concerning a crime or catastrophe violates the FCC's rules if:

The station licensee knew that the information was false; Broadcasting the false information directly causes substantial public harm; and It was foreseeable that broadcasting the false information would cause such harm.

In this context, a “crime” is an act or omission that makes the offender subject to criminal punishment by law, and a “catastrophe” is a disaster or an imminent disaster involving violent or sudden events affecting the public. The broadcast must cause direct and actual damage to property or to the health or safety of the general public, or diversion of law enforcement or other public health and safety authorities from their duties, and the public harm must begin immediately. If a station airs a disclaimer before the broadcast that clearly characterizes the program as fiction and the disclaimer is presented in a reasonable manner under the circumstances, the program is presumed not to pose foreseeable public harm.

News Distortion. The Commission often receives complaints concerning broadcast journalism, such as allegations that stations have aired inaccurate or one-sided news reports or comments, covered stories inadequately, or overly dramatized the events that they cover. For the reasons noted previously, the Commission generally will not intervene in these cases because it would be inconsistent with the First Amendment to replace the journalistic judgment of licensees with our own. However, as public trustees, broadcast licensees may not intentionally distort the news. The FCC has stated that “rigging or slanting the news is a most heinous act against the public interest.” The Commission will investigate a station for news distortion if it receives documented evidence of rigging or slanting, such as testimony or other documentation, from individuals with direct personal knowledge that a licensee or its management engaged in the intentional falsification of the news. Of particular concern would be evidence of the direction to employees from station management to falsify the news. However, absent such a compelling showing, the Commission will not intervene."

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Donald Trump Brings a Pocketknife to a Gunfight at the Easter Showdown

Donald Trump, meet Biology. I don’t believe you’ve ever met anyone quite like Biology before.

Biology doesn’t care about your threats or your bombast. Your lawyers can’t sue Biology out of existence. You can’t sway Biology by dangling your hush money. You can’t grab Biology by the pussy. Biology doesn’t care if you pound the podium and yell at it. Biology doesn’t care if you accuse it of being stupid. Biology doesn’t care that you are Commander in Chief. Your bombs and missiles mean nothing to Biology. Temporarily propping up the stock market with funny money means nothing to Biology. Biology didn’t care when you blame Coronavirus on Chinese people. Biology doesn’t care about your fantasies that national borders are somehow relevant to Coronavirus. Biology doesn’t care about fake news. Biology doesn’t care that you think you are smarter than career scientists and health care professionals. Biology doesn’t care when you assure the nation that you have an amazing brain trust consisting of people like Mike, Jared and Ivanka.

It appears that you’ve shown up to a gunfight with a pocketknife.

You can stand up to your podium and deny how Biology operates, but Biology will eventually have its own day at its own podium and Biology won’t respond using cheap words. Biology will speak in terms of hundreds of thousands of dead bodies. Biology will speak in terms of thousands of people who could have been saved had you taken this situation seriously earlier, when you had the opportunity to act. If thousands of people needlessly die, this should upset Americans, because we get upset even if one airplane crashes, killing 200. Instead of sounding the alarm to protect thousands of people, however, you denied facts and wasted time. Here’s a sampling of your pronouncements:

Jan. 22: “We have it totally under control.” Feb. 2: “Well, we pretty much shut it down coming in from China.” Feb. 10: “By April, you know, in theory, when it gets a little warmer, it miraculously goes away.” Feb. 24: “The Coronavirus very much under control in the USA. … Stock Market starting to look very good to me!” Feb. 26: “The risk to the American people remains very low.” At the same time, The Post reported, “Trump’s advisers struggled to get him to take the virus seriously,” despite telling him that “the virus was likely to dominate life in the United States for many months.”

Instead of immediately putting resources where they were needed, testing and ventilators, you told the nation that everything was fine. Everything was OK. And then you told Americans that they should pack the churches on Easter because (you have claimed) that day is somehow important to you. Perhaps you chose this date to pack churches because you and your evangelical friends are planning to roll out a faith-healing cure to the Coronavirus.

You won’t need to spend the upcoming days figuring out how to argue that this mess is not your fault, because you are already really good at deflecting blame. You are always well prepared to tell the world how smart you are and how other people are idiots. Spewing self-enhancing lies is clearly your main priority.

I admit that it’s possible that the Coronavirus might simply melt away with the spring warmth and that it might not kill a million Americans. This is possible, even though it looks highly unlikely given the deaths in Italy, Iran and Spain. Rather than argue about those numbers now, let’s check back in two months to see how things turned out for you and Biology. Truly, let’s check back in a couple months and then we’ll see how your amazingly brilliant plan is working.

If things don’t turn out well, you can always embrace that idea often attributed to Joseph Stalin: “A Single Death is a Tragedy; a Million Deaths is a Statistic.” And maybe you can stir in some social darwinism, drawing from your campaign attack on John McCain. To paraphrase: “I like people who don’t die of Coronavirus.”

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Uttering a Sacred No in the Age of Coronavirus

Many of us are finding it frustrating to distance ourselves from other people during the Coronavirus pandemic and it's not surprising. As human animals, we are wired to be social and this includes introverts like me, at least some of the time. When restraining ourselves from going out to physically spend time with others, it feels like our lives are on hold. it feels like we are doing nothing important. We love bathing in the social froth of face-to-face meetings. It doesn’t seem like we are fully human when we actively bar others from entering our physical spaces. Living in isolation sucks. Each of us is getting an extremely tiny taste of the pain that inmates feel while in solitary confinement.

As we wander around our homes, turning down tempting invitations to visit neighbors and friends and acquaintances, it might seem that we are doing nothing to actively help with the spread of the Coronavirus. It feels disempowering. We need to reframe.

We need to keep in mind that when we say “no” to these temptations to gather with others, we are not doing nothing. We are uttering a sacred no. We are exercising power each and every time we resist this temptation to physically gather together. This sacred “no” is not merely an exercise of power. Each time we say “no,” we are employing a superpower with a logarithmic extension illustrated by this data. Uttering the word “no” with unfailing consistency flattens the curve. Scroll down to find the chart in this article showing the dramatic improvement when ¾ of the population exercises social distancing. The effect is so incredibly powerful that it almost seems magical, but these numbers are based on basic biology and basic math. When we say no, we are channeling Archimedes, who once illustrated the power of levers by stating: “Give me the place to stand, and I shall move the earth.” To the extent that we work together to achieve social distancing, we are collectively moving the earth.

It can be frustrating to physically avoid the people we love, but things could have been a lot worse. At moments like these, it’s repeatedly worthwhile to appreciate the magic of the Digital Revolution. The hard work of thousands of very smart people over many decades is allowing us to stay connected in meaningful, albeit imperfect, ways.

Those who are limiting their digital communications to texts and audio should consider video connections such as Facetime and Skype. Video offers many advantages over texts and audio. See here and here. Research has shown that video conversations are much better than audio (e.g., phone calls) for avoiding depression and nurturing social connections. Researchers examined the frequency of in-person, telephone and written social contact, including email. Then they looked at the risk of depression symptoms two years later, adjusting for potential confounding factors including health status, how close people lived from family and preexisting depression. The researchers found that having little face-to-face social contact nearly doubles your risk of having depression two years later. They also reported that having more or fewer phone conversations, or written or email contact, had no effect on depression.

So thank you Digital Revolution, for keeping us from being completely isolated in these trying times. The fact that we can stay connected should give us the social support we need to maintain physical isolation.

The world has become a shockingly small place as this pandemic progresses and each of us has unwittingly become a member of a highly integrated medical/social web. Each of us can and should embrace a phrase attributed to the Hippocratic Oath: “Do no harm.” Interestingly, that phrase does not appear in the Hippocratic Oath, but this one does: “Into whatever homes I go, I will enter them for the benefit of the sick, avoiding any voluntary act of impropriety or corruption . . .” The modern version of the Hippocratic Oath provides.

I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.

I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.

Let us work together to live by these Hippocratic principles.

Repeatedly saying no to the temptation to socialize with others might seem disorienting, nonchalant, frustrating and boring, but living these principles is extremely strong medicine during this pandemic. Your frustration and boredom are small prices to pay for saving many thousands of lives. You are being a hero to the extent that you are consistently say no.

Stay safe.

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