What kinds of things do people stick into their orifices? It's limited only by their imagination, it seems. This article summarizes hospital reports and it's an eye-opener---wait, I shouldn't have said that, because some of you might now try to stick something in your eye. The data comes from the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System. Here's a sample of things people stuck into their ears: Ear: SEED PAINTBRUSH "SOME BALLS" SLAG MAKEUP BRUSH PATIENT TOLD PARENTS THAT THE CATS STUCK SOMETHING IN HER EAR GASOLINE BUTTERFLY HERSHEY KISS "CLASSMATE PUT A ROCK IN EAR, HAS PIECE OF PAPER IN OTHER EAR" Check out the article for lots more. But now I must mention that I once attended a deposition of a doctor in Atlanta. On his bookshelf, he had a big jar of screws, nails, coins, nuts and bolts and other metal things. It all weighed more than a pound. The doctor related that a man came to the ER complaining that he didn't feel good. An x-ray revealed all of this crap in his stomach. The medical staff did surgery to take it all out. Shortly thereafter, "the man died of something else." Go figure.