Demi-gogs R Us

I wondered recently, during an idle conversation, whatever became of that monumental media presence Rush Limbaugh.  Now I know.  He's been upstaged.  Check out the following quote: "They're almost always biologists—the "science" with the greatest preponderance of women. The distaff MIT "scientist" who fled the room in response to Larry…

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Keeping America safe from . . . gays

The Associated Press reports this recent development in the American military's effort to keep America safe. A decorated sergeant and Arabic language specialist was dismissed from the U.S. Army under the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, though he says he never told his superiors he was gay and his accuser…

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God returns to set the record straight

For centuries, of course, people had been praying for God to return to Earth.  He came back all right, but it was so very different than most people expected.  It happened on October 3, 2009.  I remember it like it was yesterday . . .

It had been quite cloudy that day, but the clouds parted to reveal a huge marquee announcing that God would appear within five minutes.  During this short wait, pastel patterns swirled across the skies while Miles Davis’ “Kind of Blue” played lushly from the heavens. Then, God’s image began to appear on thousands of monitors that appeared in the sky.  Everyone on the Earth was about see this spectacle simultaneously.

As you might expect with seven billion people, it took awhile to get everyone calmed down.  The preachers were especially excited; most of them were wearing big smug smiles as they strutted about.  “This is it!” many of them barked.

God cleared his throat and everyone waited, for what seemed to be an eternity, for His first words. 

“Hello,” He boomed. 

Many of you have referred to me by the name “God” or “Allah” or “The Force.”  I don’t really have any sort of body and thus I’ve never had any sort of sex organ.  Nonetheless, I’m presenting myself to you in the shape of an old man.  I thought this might make this presentation easier for many of you.

The preachers stopped strutting so much, and started to look perplexed.

“You’re probably wondering …

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Christians should be . . . well . . . Christian

The following is from Bill Moyer's interview with Rev. Joseph C. Hough on October 24th, 2003. Rev. Hough, is President of the Faculty and a Professor of Social Ethics at the Union Theological Seminary: HOUGH: . . . anybody who claims in the name of God they're gonna run over…

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New Civilian Casualty Theme Park lets you experience the thrills and spills of being a CIVILIAN WAR VICTIM!

I didn’t know that they had amusement parks like this, until I recently saw this advertisement . . .

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Americans are unfairly deprived of what it’s like to be a genuine civilian war victim.  Americans experience the effects of bombs and bullets from a distance, through antiseptic television reports and glitzy video games.  Our research has shown, however, that many of you want a much more up-close, detailed, exciting and visceral experience.  We also realize that Americans have a difficult time learning anything at all in the absent of a concurrent entertainment experience.

It is for this reason that we have built Civilian Casualty Theme Park to give you the Adventure and Experience of being a civilian war victim.  We offer you the thrill and exhilaration of BEING THERE while your own neighborhood is ripped apart by warfare. This is no ordinary theme park.  We give you up-close and personal real-life action where the bombs actually explode.  If you like haunted houses and slasher films, you’re going to love Civilian Casualty Theme Park!

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We use state-of-the-art computer simulations and pharmacology combined with hundreds of highly trained actors and technicians to give you the gut-wrenching and mind-twisting experience of what it is like to be a civilian war victim.  For starters, our experts and technicians will construct a replica of your own neighborhood in anticipation of your scheduled visit. 

After allowing you to settle in at your own residence in your own personalized Hollywood-caliber “neighborhood,” your heart will start …

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