Sunday evening I was at a Halloween party, just milling around. Suddenly a tall twenty-something blond in a little black dress appeared in front of me, eagerly brandished a bag of candy, looked directly into my eyes, smiled shyly, and said, "Tell me a joke." Um. I draw a blank. In casual conversation , I am usually full of amusing allusions, anecdotes, word play, and allegory. But I stare helplessly at this vision with her eager smile, silent. I can't think of a thing to say. She stands there waiting. Anyone who has been through college knows about test freeze. You have the answers somewhere in your head, but an impenetrable glacial wall prevents you from getting to them. It was much like that. My mind was a-whorl and adrift. I know that I know a few thousand jokes. Too many of them unusable for a variety of reasons, mostly obsolescence. But I cannot come up with anything. Then another young woman comes up behind me and offers answers. She starts in with a series of blond jokes! Oy, I think, vay. This isn't helping. I mutter something like, "Catch me later," and wander off. Now in retrospect, I ask myself, "Where are my jokes?" I never have been an adept social animal. But I have read dozens of joke books, and scholarly articles on humor. But my lifestyle may also cripple me. I am not agoraphobic, but I don't often meet people in conversational settings. I work from home, communicating primarily by email. I field few phone calls; spending maybe a half hour of phone time a week. Face time? Aside from my wife, I usually go for a week at a time without conversing beyond pleasantries. This is far from the typical office or factory setting where one interrupts conversations to get occasional hours of work in, or where one can converse while working. Most of the joke books I have predate color television. Jokes about FDR or LBJ don't play well any more. Those jokes that I can use are pretty long. Too long to use as a glib response to, "Tell me a joke." I also haven't watched television or listened to talk radio for a couple of months, so I have no idea what currently is passing for humor. But enough about my infirmities. Tell me a joke that I can collect in a repertoire, in case I get another such opportunity.