Onion: God suffers existential crisis

From the Onion:

Sources close to God reported Thursday that the Creator of the Universe and Author of Our Eternal Salvation suffered a crippling bout of existential dread this week, lying awake all night as He pondered His own immortality. Anxiously drumming His fingers, the all-powerful being was reportedly unable to sleep as His mind raced with thoughts of the unfathomable nature of eternity, the relentless expansion of space and time, and His own never-ending existence.

Continue ReadingOnion: God suffers existential crisis

The purpose of solemnity

Yesterday I was walking through Arlington National Cemetery, when I saw the following signs dictating that those in the cemetery should be solemn. IMG_3798 DC - lo res sign in cemetery This sign made me think of the two-minute video in which John Cleese (of Monty Python fame) explains that people commonly confuse seriousness (which can be properly accompanied by laughter and frivolity, often enabling inspiration and catharsis) with solemnity. What is the purpose of solemnity? IMG_3842 DC - sign 2 low res

It serves pomposity, and the self-important always know at some level of their consciousness that their egotism is going to be punctured by humor. That is why they see it as a threat. So they dishonestly pretend that their deficiency makes their view more substantial, when it only makes them feel bigger. [raspberry]. Humor is an essential part of spontaneity and an essential part of playfulness, and an essential part of the creative activity that we need to solve problems, no matter how serious they may be.

Apparently, humor (and other forms of free expression--something for which the soldiers allegedly died for--is more powerful than bullets.  We wouldn't want people walking through the cemetery speaking out, especially using the weapon of humor, to question whether many of these soldiers died for lies, be it the alleged Gulf of Tonkin incident, the alleged weapons of mass destruction, or the other lie from the steady stream of lies that has kept America constantly at war.  IMG_3947 graves - low res

Continue ReadingThe purpose of solemnity

Breaking news: Washington D.C. in chaos as president, leadership of both parties arrested

[Washington, D.C.] Satire: The nation's capital was plunged into chaos this morning as President Barack Obama was taken into federal custody, along with major factions of both the Democratic and Republican parties, as well as officials from the NSA, CIA, FBI, and other agencies. Under arrest along with President Obama…

Continue ReadingBreaking news: Washington D.C. in chaos as president, leadership of both parties arrested