How I almost ate a worm.

Worms are fascinating critters.  There’s no getting around it.  Or maybe they’ve just seemed fascinating, ever since I first read Gary Larson’s hilarious 1999 book, There’s a hair in my dirt!  A Worm’s Story. 

Now, though, worms have made it to the big screen.  Last week I took my two young children to a movie called “How to Eat Fried Worms.”  We all enjoyed the movie, which provided some lessons on eating earthworms, as well as a lesson or two on getting along.  Click here for more information on the movie, which features a large cast of youngsters, along with Tom Cavanagh and Kimberly Williams.

There’s an interesting side story here. I was surprised that the book on which the movie is based has been the target of censors: 

Because of the novel’s content, the idea of eating worms as part of a bet is thought to be disgusting by some, it has been the frequent target of censors and appears on the American Library Association list of the 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books of 1990-2000 at number ninety six.

Amazing, eh?  But back to the main topic of my post. I’d like to tell you the story about how I ate worms . . . but I can’t.  I didn’t even come close. 

Watching “How to Eat Fried Worms” reminded me of the time I was visiting Guangzhou, China in 2001 with my wife and our newly adopted daughter.  We were traveling with a large group …

Share

Continue ReadingHow I almost ate a worm.

Why are there so many synonyms for poop?

I don’t usually go around discussing poop.

That might have changed forever, though, once I stumbled upon smellypoop.com, a site dedicated to disseminating information about . . . well, poop.  Smellypoop.com is a refreshingly frank site presenting “solid” information on a subject that simultaneously compels and repels. 

For example, smellypoop.com addresses each of the following topics (as well as others):

  • What is poop made of?
  • Why does poop stink?
  • Why is bird poop white?
  • Are there people who eat poop?
  • Why does some poop float?
  • What Happens When I’m At WORK and I have to Poop? 

But there’s more.  Smellypoop.com provides comprehensive research on the topic of farts. You can order fake poop and poop-themed greeting cards at the site (click on “Order Fake Poop and Other Great Gifts”).  There is a poop forum and a poop photo gallery.   You’ll find poop poems, poop riddles, and poop sayings, including “Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day” (attributed to Harry S Truman).

What especially interests me, though, is the comprehensive list of poop synonyms at smellypoop.com.  There are hundreds of them.  Though I was already aware of dozens of poop terms (including the classic four-letter reference and oldie-but-goodie “number two”), I was woefully unaware of the vast number of poop synonyms.  Thanks to stinkypoop.com, my repertoire now includes terms like “blind eels,” “bootycakes,” “colon cobras,” “dookie-doop-droop” “mooky-stinks,” and the quaint but useful “pooplets.”

Why so many synonyms for a basic bodily function, I wondered?  Then it hit me: …

Share

Continue ReadingWhy are there so many synonyms for poop?

Babies Here, There and Everywhere

As reported by the St. Louis Post Dispatch, conservatives got together for a large rally in St. Louis this week.  One of the speakers, Catholic Archbishop Raymond Burke, argued that it was “the legalized destruction of human life.”  A radio executive chimed in: “Have you ever noticed that when the devil tries to sell you an evil idea, he usually wraps it in a lie?”

To what were they referring?  The killing of “babies,” they argued.  The speakers were arguing that a research procedure called “somatic cell nuclear transfer” (SCNT) was literally killing babies.

Never mind that the 5-day old babies they were talking about are microscopic clumps of cells (containing valuable stem cells).  Never mind that they can’t really be considered individuals; they could still split into more than one baby (until 12 days of age) or they might not grow into any baby at all (“God” himself spontaneously aborts hundreds of thousands of these babies every year).

Donn Rubin, the chairman of the Missouri Coalition for Lifesaving Cures, the group promoting a ballot proposal promoting stem cell research in Missouri, condemned the conservative rally.  The Coalition’s website describes the Stem Cell Research and Cures Initiative in detail.  For another description, see also here.  Rubin reminded the crowd that the ballot proposal has the support of more than 100 groups, including research centers, health care groups and patient groups. 

What is SCNT?  Is it really killing babies? According to the International Society for Stem …

Share

Continue ReadingBabies Here, There and Everywhere

Exercising in the park

I was out at a city park today to play some racquetball.  While taking a break, I noticed four guys playing handball nearby.  They were playing a hard-fought game.    But wait a minute!  What is that tobacco-y smell?  Why, it's tobacco!  Two of the handball players were smoking cigarettes (the coffin nails were actually in…

Continue ReadingExercising in the park

The land of milk and money: How milk producers fool most of the people most of the time.

Humans are creatures with limited attentional capacity.  We don’t have the time or brainpower to personally investigate every claim that comes our way.  We don’t like questioning ideas to which we’ve become accustomed.  Evil-minded people only need to get those lies into our heads.  Once in there, those false ideas rattle around for a long time. How to best get false information into people’s heads?  Employ a Trojan horse maneuver, i.e., plant credible-seeming information into our brains when we are young using credible intermediaries (such as our parents) through the use of the mass media.  And it always helps if the proponents of deceit are well-financed while the proponents of the truth are not. Once false information is safely in their heads, humans are willing to carry it around for decades, disseminating it to yet others and even fighting for it. No, I’m not writing about Iraq. Today’s case study is cow milk. Yeah, the kind of milk you probably drink.  Why drink milk?  You’ve probably seen lots of those slick ad campaigns.  You’ll hear lots of claims that it is important for humans to drink cow milk. Before I go further, here are my disclaimers.  For my first 4 ½ decades on this planet, I poured milk on my cereal.  About five years ago, my wife and I began to suspect that our youngest daughter was lactose intolerant.  People who are lactose intolerant can’t properly digest milk. We thus switched over to soy milk for her.  I also switched …

Share

Continue ReadingThe land of milk and money: How milk producers fool most of the people most of the time.