How Angels Can Fly

As regular readers know, I take an interest not only in science, but in the evolution of science. Back before Newton proposed the bold theory that the force holding us to the ground was the same thing that guided the heavenly bodies, everyone knew that the grave matter of original sin was what kept man down from heaven. Look up the etymologies of “grave”, “engrave” and “gravity” for yourself. In brief, they all mean to push (or cut) down.

Theologically, up was toward sinlessness, and down toward maximum sin. Therefore heaven had to be up, and hell had to be down. In order for a man (like Jesus) to rise bodily toward heaven, he merely had to be completely without sin.

Angels are without sin, and therefore immune to this force.

Given this earlier definition of gravity, one can see that Saint Peter has a cushy post as a gatekeeper.  Anyone who died burdened with sin could not have reached his lofty post. The exception is Catholics who received last rites from an Earthly priest, and then had to be sorted out. Talk about passing the buck*!

* The buck in this phrase refers to the leadership token of a buck-knife, not a dollar!

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Dan Klarmann

A convoluted mind behind a curly face. A regular traveler, a science buff, and first generation American. Graying of hair, yet still verdant of mind. Lives in South St. Louis City. See his personal website for (too much) more.

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Avatar of grumpypilgrim
    grumpypilgrim

    Speaking of angels, I have some questions: if angels are purely spiritual beings and heaven is a purely spiritual place, then why do angels need wings to get around and what do their wings push against? Is there air in heaven?

  2. Avatar of Scholar
    Scholar

    Due to recent scientific discoveries, the physics of Heaven has been observed as an fluctuating metastatic environment. Working out of his uncle's basement, Joseph Steinbergoweitz has pioneered several new techniques for exploring the properties of inert materials in Heaven. Using his backround in chemical engineering, Steinbergoweitz was able to cross-reference the the components of Heavenly air with some regular air captured at an altitude of 28,500 ft on mount Denali (Mckinley). The results are indeed falsifiable, and have been documented. Here are the main components of Heavenly Air…

    48 percent Nitrogen

    19 percent Oxygen

    14 percent Carbon Dioxide

    13 percent pixie dust clouds

    23 percent nitrous oxide

    1 percent helium

    trace amount of hydrogen and polonium

    3 french hens

    5 golden rings

    1 partridge

    1 pear tree

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