For those of us who understand that sex is a biological term that applies to possums, wolves, elephants and humans, what should we say when asked for our “pronouns”? Colin Wright says we should refuse to answer the question. I think a bare refusal is a bit rude. People asking for pronouns often don’t mean any harm, even though they are implicitly asking you to buy into an ideology that conflicts with biology, often without awareness that they are doing this. I agree with Wright that a request for pronouns constitutes stereotyping.
What would I do next time I’m asked? I might respond by saying something like: “Sign me up as a human being who doesn’t believe in stereotyping.” If that triggers an awkward silence, perhaps I would follow up: “But by all means, I’m not telling anyone else how to respond . . .
Wright’s article appears in the Wall Street Journal. The title is “When Asked ‘What Are Your Pronouns,’ Don’t AnswerA seemingly innocuous question masks a demand for conformity with a regressive set of ideas.” Here’s an excerpt:
Gender activists believe that being a man or a woman requires embracing stereotypes of masculinity or femininity, respectively, or the different social roles and expectations society imposes on people because of their sex. Planned Parenthood explicitly states that gender identity is “how you feel inside,” defines “gender” as a “a social and legal status, a set of expectations from society, about behaviors, characteristics, and thoughts,” and asserts that “it’s more about how you’re expected to act, because of your sex.” . . .
So when someone asks for your pronouns, and you respond with “she/her,” even though you may be communicating the simple fact that you’re female, a gender ideologue would interpret this as an admission that you embrace femininity and the social roles and expectations associated with being female. While women’s-rights movements fought for decades to decouple womanhood from rigid stereotypes and social roles, modern gender ideology has melded them back together. . . .
Let me offer an analogy. [Imagine a] request from the American Federation of Astrologers encouraging everyone to begin conversations with, “Hi, I’m a Sagittarius. What’s your sign?” To respond with your own star sign would be to operate within and signal your tacit agreement with the belief system of astrology.
Here is a free pdf of Colin Wright’s article.
My response has always been “I, me, we, our, us, mine, ours.” All other pronouns refer to others, although they may include me or us.” That answer is as plain as English can be.
I’m a grammar Nazi, by the way.
I just answer that I’m a GLORP. How I define “GLORP” varies with my mood. They never laugh.
What does it mean to “identify as.” I identify as a lawyer, a parent, a musician, etc. no problem there. To me, the phrase means “I think of myself as.” I could think of myself as any of the things I already mentioned, or I could think of myself as an astronaut (even though I am not an astronaut). I could think of myself as an ape (which I am), or heroic figure or a hypocrite or a criminal or a pickle or a cloud. In my mind, how do you identify invites a detachment from real life facts, and there is often nothing wrong this doing that.
If a biological man “identifies as” a woman, I have no problem with that–I’ll call someone whatever pronoun they’d like, but if there are too many people claiming that their appearance is not aligned with their identities, this will tax my memory and I will make mistakes. I think much of the current commotion is caused by claims that a trans woman is EXACTLY the same as a woman. I call bullshit on that. Just draw a Venn Diagram and it can be easily seen. Trans women are similar to bio women in many ways but different in some significant ways. That said, I will politely refer to a trans woman as a woman, no problem with that at all. But I will not give up the use of the word “woman.” We’ve fought too hard for too long for women’s rights and women’s spaces for that. It dismays me that organizations dedicated to women’s health are now commonly avoiding the word “woman,” saying, for instance, “people with a uterus.” Even though 99.9% of people with uteruses are bio women. There is nothing wrong (in my view) indicating that a trans woman is a “trans woman.” THEY call themselves “trans,” so it means transitioning from something to something else. I agree completely with JK Rowling on this issue.
From Colin Wright’s recent email blast:
More from Colin Wright’s recent email blast:
While writing my WSJ essay, I stumbled across a very interesting philosophical paper by Oxford philosopher and researcher Brian D. Earp titled “On Sharing Pronouns.” When I first saw it, I thought I had been beaten to the punch. After all, here is part of the abstract:
After reading it, however, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that Earp’s paper addressed the issue from a completely different perspective. Most importantly, his piece provides reasons for and against sharing pronouns that are independent of one’s stance on gender ideology. In fact, his paper doesn’t even touch on the issue of sex denialism and the redefinition of “man” and “woman.” His paper presents legitimate reasons for rejecting pronoun sharing even if you happen to agree with the tenets of gender ideology. That’s what makes it so powerful.
For example, a norm of pronoun sharing may be stressful for people who are struggling with issues related to their identity, and being constantly asked for their pronouns may cause them to either share something they’d prefer to stay hidden, or to lie about it.
Alternatively, perhaps you are a woman in STEM who doesn’t want people to see you as a “woman” scientist, but simply as a scientist. You don’t feel that your identity as a woman (whatever that means) should be relevant to your science, yet “you feel compelled to introduce yourself, in keeping with the emerging social norm, as Dr. So-and-so, whose pronouns are…”
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