Late last night I watched the movie “Hillbilly Elegy” on Netflix. I won’t spoil the film, but I will say that it was often emotionally wrenching and it was not a good choice of a movie to watch right before trying to fall asleep. I suspect I’ll be processing these scenes for weeks and months–the film offers a massive serving of food for thought and suggests a take-home message toward the end. The movie (by Ron Howard) is based on a memoir by J.D. Vance. Glenn Close was especially compelling every time she walked into a scene. Excellent acting throughout the film. So much so that it made me feel like I was actually there in person. I had originally learned of the Vance’s Memoir (and this movie) while listening to Episode 32 of “The Portal,” where Eric Weinstein interviews the real life J.D. Vance.
On FB, this comment was posted to my above intro:
I’ve hesitated to watch the movie because I’ve heard criticism that it reduces the lifestyles depicted to tropes. As someone with deep redneck roots, I am already greatly frustrated with the lack of understanding of my culture. This lack of care has led to alienation of millions of Americans with catastrophic results. Do you think the movie is too harshly criticized in this aspect?
In response this comment, I added this:
The movie is based on a memoir of a man who grew up in that environment. I watched it through that lens. It unveils many harsh truths, but also beautiful moments. I didn’t watch it through a political lens–many people are on social media obsessing about whether the movie is politically or socially “appropriate.” I have very little tolerance for the PC mobs. I simply watched it to see this man’s story after hearing him on Eric Weinstein’s podcast (which was also a worthy endeavor). I saw the harsh reviews, but ignored them. I make up my own mind on these things. Rather stunning that I often think a movie is absolutely terrible when it is highly rated and vice versa. It never occurred to me that he is pushing the viewpoint that everything he experienced should be extrapolated to every other person in Appalachia.
One of the most poignant moments of the movie, which I believe is dead on, was at the dinner with the law firms. When the lawyer referred to his family and the people of his area as rednecks, J.D. rebuffed him. He was chagrined as he should have been and it drove home the point of the entire movie. Truth revealed. Where do we go from here to help more J.D.’s make a life outside of the concentrated poverty culture he was born into and escaped much to the help and credit of his tough, gun-totin’ Memaw. I am committed to changing the circumstances of those that face college as the first in their family by creating a trust for a scholarship. The only restriction is you must be the first person in your nuclear family to attempt college. I emphasize attempt, because that is what it is. And the student will be supported for all four years. What will you do?
That is a highly worthy cause. One thing I do to that end is that I am a mentor with an organization called GiveBack. https://www.giveback.ngo/mentors/
I have found mentoring to be among the most rewarding experiences. I always feel I got the better end of the deal. I specifically mentor entrepreneurs, who are following the most successful path to socioeconomic mobility ever invented. I pick them up in the oddest places.
I insist that mentees do homework and look inward for strength. They never get a third chance to waste my time. I limit myself to four at any one time. Looking back over the past two decades, most have been women and few have been white. At one point I had a black female Christian, an Indian female Buddhist, a Pakistani female Muslim, and a white female atheist. Nowadays I have little energy and have one black male right-wing Evangelist in IT and a white male Agnostic in Mathematics. I do my best to bring firebrands of all stripes toward the middle, because that is where their customers will be.
Mostly I ask questions, because they are far more valuable than answers. The perfect answer to the wrong question is usually a calamity. We start with financial literacy, proceed through concepts of ownership and entitlement, and go to root cause analysis. Then we talk about how to start and run a business. It’s easy. That’s a lie, by the way. It’s the most terrifying thing I’ve done in my life. I’ve shut down one of my businesses now, leaving me with only one. That’s a first over the last 40 years.Mentoring is addictive. I expect to be doing it as long as I can connect to the internet.
Bill, I find as a parent and a mentor it is an art to find the right place on the dial between pushing them hard and nurturing them. Many accuse me of leaning too hard to the former, but I’ll be gone someday and they will be on their own. I’ve always appreciated people who push me hard. It’s a sign that they care.