Wonderful TED talk by Journalist Jonathan Hari. Two Quotes stand out:
Professor Peter Cohen in the Netherlands said, maybe we shouldn’t even call it addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we’re happy and healthy, we’ll bond and connect with each other, but if you can’t do that, because you’re traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief.
. . .
And I think the core of that message — you’re not alone, we love you — has to be at every level of how we respond to addicts, socially, politically and individually. For 100 years now, we’ve been singing war songs about addicts. I think all along we should have been singing love songs to them, because the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.
—
See also, Rachel Wurzman’s TED talk: How Isolation Fuel’s Opiod Addiction.
The effects of social disconnection through opioid receptors, the effects of addictive drugs and the effects of abnormal neurotransmission on involuntary movements and compulsive behaviors all converge in the striatum. And the striatum and opioid signaling in it has been deeply linked with loneliness.
09:48
When we don’t have enough signaling at opioid receptors, we can feel alone in a room full of people we care about and love, who love us. Social neuroscientists, like Dr. Cacioppo at the University of Chicago, have discovered that loneliness is very dangerous. And it predisposes people to entire spectrums of physical and mental illnesses.10:16
Think of it like this: when you’re at your hungriest, pretty much any food tastes amazing, right? So similarly, loneliness creates a hunger in the brain which neurochemically hypersensitizes our reward system. And social isolation acts through receptors for these naturally occurring opioids and other social neurotransmitters to leave the striatum in a state where its response to things that signal reward and pleasure is completely, completely over the top. And in this state of hypersensitivity, our brains signal deep dissatisfaction. We become restless, irritable and impulsive.
Thanks for your insight of ” Dysfuntional bonding ” term, as a recovered alcoholic, I see this as a huge factor now that clean over 5 years now, and nearly free of urge,. A needed element of my recovery was to find a ” functional element ” to replace the “dysfunctional” element, change my culture in away, create other daily(good) rituals, to replace my alcohol bond/ritual.
Thanks Michael
Michael: Sorry this reply is late, but congratulations on your recovery. Truly awesome that you have made it where so many others struggle. I’m glad you found the article useful in your own experience.
I revisited Jonathan Hari’s talk recently. It profoundly affected me, giving me a framework for a much deeper understanding of addiction.
In his talk, he notes that millions of us have been exposed to heroin, either in Viet Nam or to alleviate post-surgery pain. Almost all of us leave the hospitals with no “addiction.” How can that be, he asks. Rats in solitary confinement DO get hooked on opiates. Rats that are given a social environment and things to play with and explore tend not to get hooked.
Hari’s conclusion: when we talk about addiction, we are really talking about someone who has developed a relationship to alcohol or drugs. It’s at that point that the light goes on for me: People who are addicted to alcohol or drugs tend to abandon real life friends in order to pursue a newly-improved guilt-free relationship with alcohol and drugs.
Framing the process of addiction as a “craving” doesn’t capture the most important part of the process. We are extremely social beings, and addiction doesn’t change that. Rather, alcoholics and addicts divorce their flesh and blood concerned friends in order to freely pursue their relationships with alcohol and drugs. Where a real life friend is a non-drinker, that kind of friend is especially at risk to being thrown off the cliff. Addicts don’t want to be watched by those who don’t approve. Where real-life friends are also addicts, that poses no problem at all, because the addictive substances and those other addicts are mutually acquainted, and the big party always starts with a round of self-forgiveness for what’s about to happen. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
This is powerful stuff, especially for those of us who avoid being under the influence, preferring other things, like the joy of being awake and alert and sharp-minded, finding laughter naturally, embracing music, art, exercise and spending time with similarly situated others.
Hari reminds us that the cure to alcoholism is not scolding or “just saying no.” It’s embracing the addict and helping him or her to reconnect with real people in the real world.