From Jonathan Rauch, “Caring for Your Introvert: The habits and needs of a little-understood group.”
How can I let the introvert in my life know that I support him and respect his choice? First, recognize that it’s not a choice. It’s not a lifestyle. It’s an orientation.
Second, when you see an introvert lost in thought, don’t say “What’s the matter?” or “Are you all right?”
Third, don’t say anything else, either.
The fundamental difference between introverts and extraverts is source of energy. Introverts draw energy from within, while extraverts draw energy from interacting with others. Introverts can function perfectly well alone; extraverts don’t have that option. The world is run by extraverts, who often fail to accept that introverts aren’t just defective.
The MBTI (Meyers Briggs Type Inventory) measures four preferred ways of dealing with the world. It is based on Jungian psychology and is fluid. It doesn’t represent choices, nor even orientations, but preferences. If the preferences are strong enough they can be predictive of behavior. Accepting that other people aren’t defective, merely different, and understanding something of their strengths and weaknesses is helpful in interacting with them. A person can act completely against type, but it takes a lot of focus and practice.
The four measurements are Introvert/Extravert, Intuitive/Sensing, Thinking/Feeling, and Judging/Perceiving. This final J/P is actually a measurement of need for closure. I am an INTJ. ESTJ’s run the world. The two most intelligent types are INTJ and INTP; that is an average, not a requirement. It is possible for one to change over time; following a stroke at the age of thirty, I switched overnight from being a mild Extravert to an off-the-scale Introvert. INTJs are considered seriously flawed by many people because they do not react to things the way others do; the accusations are frequent: You just don”t care. That’s not true, but it appears to be so.
In my career as an intelligence officer it was necessary to adopt multiple identities, different with every source. It would take two hours to two days to morph into someone else, with a different language, different posture, different ways of dealing with the outside world. That includes switching around how one presents himself to others on all four scales.