As I watched stories of people hoarding toilet paper during the pandemic, wiping out entire stores, I felt secure that the meagre five rolls that I have in my own house would last me quite a while, even indefinitely.
Two years ago, I gave up most toilet paper use. I found something cleaner, cheaper, and more comfortable. It’s also more convenient, as I don’t have to keep buying it – at least not very often. I use a homemade bidet and I love it! I especially appreciate my bidet when I am stuck in bathrooms where toilet paper is my only option.
A bidet (pronounced bid-day) is a bathroom fixture that washes you off after you use the toilet.
In some countries, a bidet is a separate fixture that sits right next to the toilet. There are also many types of bidets that can be retrofitted to any toilet seat. Some are simple and other bidets are super fancy models with heated seats, warm water, adjustable jet sprayers and air dryer – all powered with a remote control. A bidet is like a car wash for your bottom.
I considered installing a simple bidet on my toilet, but then it occurred to me that bidets essentially squirt water. That’s not plumbing science. Lots of things can squirt water. I did a little research and found some squeezable plastic lab bottles with bent squirt nozzles. They were $4 each. Perfect. Then I went to a thrift store and found some cheap but luxuriously soft washcloths. Now before you get grossed out – bear with me. What I’m doing is way more hygienic than what you’re doing with toilet paper!
After peeing, instead of wiping with dry toilet paper, I rinse off with water from my squeeze bottle bidet and pat dry with a soft dry washcloth. The first time I tried my system, I was amazed at how much better and cleaner it felt than toilet paper. It was like walking out of a shower and toweling off. It’s kind of luxurious.
Ok . . . so what about pooping? I do use toilet paper for that, but just a fraction of the amount I used to use. When cleaning with a stream of water first, I only need a very small amount of toilet paper to finish the job. I have considered a system that uses dry washcloths for that too, and probably will. Having washed cloth diapers when my kids were little, I know that this system is doable and not anywhere near as gross as you’d imagine. I’ll get to that in a moment.
I use my squirt bottle bidet in my master bathroom and it was an easy experiment because I’m the only who uses that bathroom. The only thing keeping me from putting it my guest bathroom is that it’s a little awkward to tell guests how to wipe.
But change is initially changing a mindset and then changing habits.
Most people who hear about my system cringe at first, thinking there’s no way they’d give up toilet paper – gross! But that’s only because that’s what they are used to. That’s what seems normal. But if you think about it, a bidet system of any kind is far cleaner than wiping with dry toilet paper. Consider this – if you were to accidentally get pee or poop on your arm, would you consider yourself clean if you wiped it off with only with dry toilet paper? I don’t think so. You’d probably run to the sink and wash with water! But we’re all fine dry-wiping our bottoms on the toilet.
Here’s what Kate Murphy, writer for the New York Times, just wrote in her article, “Stop Using Toilet Paper”:
[E]xperts agree that rinsing yourself with water is infinitely more sanitary and environmentally sound. Dr. H. Randolph Bailey, a colorectal surgeon at the University of Texas McGovern Medical School in Houston, recommended bidets or toilet attachments, such as the Washlet or Tushy.
Here’s how to set up a bidet system for you and your family
First, you need some squirt bottles. I started with lab bottles and they worked fine. But online stores sell specialized squirt bottles, “portable bidets,” for less than $15 (see photo below) which I now use. If you’re stuck at home, any squeezable bottle with a nozzle will work.
Then you need some designated drying cloths. I use full size washcloths, because I know I would not mindlessly drop one in the toilet thinking it’s toilet paper. It’s larger and feels much different in my hand. Use the washcloth to pat yourself dry after cleaning with water. You can reuse a drying cloth a few times before laundering. It’s no different from reusing your own hand towel after washing your hands — in both cases you are drying something that’s already clean. If there are two more people sharing a bathroom, have a designated container or rack for each person’s drying cloth.
If you’re squeamish about reusing cloths, the other option is to have plenty of drying cloths and use each only once, dropping it in a trash basket next to your toilet and then washing all of them once a week. You can even go all Martha Stewart on this and have a lovely tray of rolled or folded washcloths on the back of your toilet, and a stylish small basket on the floor for the used ones. That’s better than the finest hotel!
Using a bidet will reduce your toilet paper use by about 90%. But if you want to go all out and completely eliminate the need for toilet paper, you’ll have to set up a system that also works for #2. Now before you gag, remember that using a bidet gets rid of most of the mess. If you have some good water pressure with your bidet, there’s little to nothing left to wipe off.
Using a bidet with adrying cloth for #2 is not going to be horrifying. It’s just going to be an adjustment. You can use the laundry system described in the paragraph above, and wash all the cloths in hot water. One simple way to handle this is to line the trash basket with a mesh laundry bag. Ok, I hear you gagging again imagining how that might smell. It won’t. Remember, 99% of the cleaning is with water, and the cloth may have a little residue. When I was growing up, we had a septic system and we were not allowed to put toilet paper down the toilet, so we had to put our used toilet paper in the trash. It never smelled. When it’s time to wash, just toss the whole bag in the washing machine. Remember, your grandmother washed poopy diapers every week and lived to tell about it.
Cost Savings – one less thing to buy
The average American uses about 11.25 rolls of toilet paper per month, at a cost of $8.45. For a family of four that’s $33.75 per month. While that doesn’t seem like a whole lot, it adds up to $405 a year. Imagine that you’re at the store buying food and supplies, and there’s that big 24-pack of toilet paper for $15 that you no longer have to buy. You’ve just cut the cost of that shopping trip by $15. That’s a savings you can feel.
Convenience
Never worry about running out of toilet paper again. Your supply never runs out.
Hygiene
Cleaning with water does the job better than dry toilet paper. No contest.
Comfort
Seriously, washing yourself with water feels way better than the most expensive toilet paper. Think about it: this is the same reason we prefer taking daily showers to wiping ourselves off with dry paper towels.
Environment
The average tree makes 1,500 rolls of toilet paper. If there are just 100 families on your block or in your subdivision, you and your neighbors are going through a whole tree every month. That seems like a ridiculous loss of oxygen-producing, air-cleaning trees just to wipe our butts.
Not so many years ago, our grandparents or great grandparents thought it was crazy to spend money on toilet paper when they could wipe for free with the Sears catalog or newspaper. How crazy do we look now, hoarding toilet paper like it’s an absolute necessity? While you’re sheltering in place during this pandemic, this may be a great time to experiment.
Options for Bidets – from cheap to crazy expensive
A simple installed bidet (nonelectrical) highly rated Luxe Bidet ($42).
Toto Electronic Bidet Toilet Seat with warm water and heated seat ($348.95).
Luxury installed bidets: $500 and up
Neorest NX “Welcome to the Future of Toilet Technology” $11,000
