The crack reporting team of The Onion once again catches a story that has been missed by all other media outlets: “World’s Power Brokers Hold Annual Summit Where They Show Each Other Their Penises.”

ST. MORITZ, SWITZERLAND—One hundred fifty of the world’s most powerful people in the fields of politics, banking, business, and media met this past weekend at an exclusive Swiss resort for the 54th annual invitation-only summit where they show each other their penises.