The Onion has a spirited debate on whether Americans have lost sight of the true meaning of Halloween. How timely!
In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?
Has America lost sight of the true meaning of Halloween? The Onion investigates.
Bloody Marvelous! On this, the eve of All Hallows Day, all should pause and acknowledge the reason for the season. I do use real bones to guard my portal. Well, goat bones. I had to settle for a medical model cast in plastic from human bones because of some silly custom about not trading in human remains.
<img src="http://dangerousintersection.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/p1060111.jpg" alt="Medical skeleton model in the attic">
Also my gargoyles are cast in concrete and resin rather than properly carved from stone by consecrated craftsmen.
And my lights are not proper animal fat burning luminariae, but from electricity produced from the departing remains of ancient sea life (coal) or the rendered atoms of the heaviest elements (New Cue Ler).
It is really bad in my town, which has been taken over by the Mentalist followers of some pagan prophet named Fundah. A roving band of these Fundah Mentalist thugs raided my home and took my copy of the Necronomicon, an heirloom that has been in my family since my Visigoth ancestors moved to the lands of the Speir-Daagum, and every book written in the olde tongue, as they prepared for one of their many book-burning rituals.
So this year for the Samhain, I must improvise. I have procurred a paperback copy of the Necronomicon, but I know its power is weak.
The outlook is not good.
Question: Must one use a sacrificial altar made of natural stone, or do the modern composites (such as Corian or even cheaper laminates) work just as well? I'm thinking of saving some money on the cheaper altar, trying it out on a few neighborhood squirrels, then moving on up the chain of being. I assume altars come with some sort of warranty . . .
Niklaus: The power of the book is not in the quality or vintage of paper and ink. Power comes from understanding the Word.
Although a vintage leather bound Necronomicon hand written on calf skin vellum using a raven quill in oak-gall ink with cobalt blue and gold-leaf illumination would be way cool!
Erich: The Bible says that sacrifices are only acceptable on unworked stone. No carving or embellishment. A purist would insist that the stone must remain where God has placed it to be a valid altar. Exodus 20:25
Other gods may not be so picky.
Music video for Halloween: A Hard Day's Night of the Living Dead
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