I wouldn’t make this up. It was reported on MSNBC today.
Pope Benedict XVI has reasserted the universal primacy of the Roman Catholic Church, approving a document released Tuesday that says Orthodox churches were defective and that other Christian denominations were not true churches.
How does the Pope know this?  Hey, he just knows. Just like he knows that gay unions are “”pseudo-matrimony.” Just like he knows that we shouldn’t read Harry Potter novels. Just as he knows that it is better for millions of Africans to die of AIDS than to use condoms. He knows that evolution has not been scientifically proven. And he knows that limbo no longer exists. And he knows that women are inferior and that there is a Devil and he knows that a virgin had a baby. And he knows that Catholicism purified indigenous populations. Although he doesn’t believe in slavery, even though the Bible clear says that it’s OK to own a slave.Â
One Vatican official was quoted as saying that the Pope’s position is “not backtracking on ecumenical commitment.”  Of course not. The Catholics are still willing to get together with people of other religions–as long as those other religions acknowledge that they are “defective” and “not true churches.” Maybe the Catholics could simply put “Member of Defective Religion” labels on the chairs for the people from the other religions, so that they will know where to sit.
It’s time for all of those defective false chuches to get with the Pope’s pronouncement or else all their followers will burn in hell, by the eternal and boundless love of Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Savior. Amen.
It’s really difficult for me to understand how a man of this unusual intellect can repeatedly graner great attention from the media and and further receive constant warm affection from tens of millions of Americans.
Funny the Pope should say this, because just this week I saw a religious television program (sponsored by Seventh Day Adventists) that said the true sabbath day is Saturday, and that only the anti-Christ could have contradicted God by changing it to Sunday. Of course, the speaker didn't mention that the Catholic church was responsible for this change, but he did subtly suggest that its leader might be the anti-Christ.
With one branch of Christianity calling itself the One True Religion, and another branch suggesting that the first one is in league with Satan, believers certainly have a wide spectrum of (unsupportable) beliefs from which to choose. No wonder Christianity appeals to so many people: it professes so many contradictory versions of itself that almost anyone could find something to follow.
When Billy-Bob claims to have regular conversations with God, everyone thinks he's ready for a rubber room. When the Pope or President Bush imply the same, they are great leaders… Why?
Hey, poor Pope Benedict! When he was just plain ol' Cardinal Ratzinger, he said the same thing-when he led what used to be the Inquisition-and y'all didn't squeal so much. Give him a break, he's human and fallible!
If the Pope speaks "ex cathedra" (from the throne) on questions of faith and morals, the Church teaching is the Pope's "infallible." The whole issue of papal infallibility came up in the latter 1800's and resulted in refinement of the doctrine and the issuance of guidelines for such teachings. The Pope must say he's speaking ex cathedra on an issue of faith and morals, and make the pronouncement which binds Church members to such teaching, in addition to the tenets announced in the Nicean Creed.
The only "infallible" papal teachings spoken "ex cathedra" to date relate to Mary, Jesus's mother, being conceived without sin; and, that Mary did not die but, was assumed into heaven. These teachings, plus the Nicean Creed are the core of the Roman Catholic faith.
Benedict has refused–unlike John Paul II– to call the Iraq war unjust. Benedict has "brought back" the Latin Mass, which was largely left behind after vatican II in the 60's. Benedict has made improvident remarks about other faiths before, and is likely to do so again. Obviously, there might be more to regret than what I have cited here.
It is unfortunate but, it is my fault. When I heard that JPII had died, I prayed "anyone but Ratzinger" and thus sealed our doom. I'm sorry for this sin and all the sins of my past life and ask forgiveness from you my brothers and sisters.
As usual, The Onion was ahead of the game. 🙂
Ebonmuse: The mere title to that Onion article shatters the funniness scale.
Tim: I'd like to claim that I have the power to forgive you for your "transgressions," but I'm a bit awkward at faith-based forgiveness. If you tell me what to do or say, though, I'll give it a go. Amen or whatever.
Erich: I believe the phrase is "Go and sin no more."
Tim's opinions of Pope Ratty echo those of most other Catholics I know. Actually I think you can blame the radical students of the University of Tuebingen, Germany (where I studied 1983-84) for Ratzinger's conservative bent.
Ratzinger's appointment to the theology faculty at Tuebingen was engineered by the ultra-liberal theologian Hans Kung. Ratzinger was going to be one of the new brooms sweeping out the old pre-Vatican II faculty. But then the 1968 student revolt happened. Kung thrived on the revolutionary atmosphere, with students occupying the theology faculty offices and taking over the podium in lectures to demand answers to their questions. Ratzinger however shrank back in horror and transferred to the more conservative University of Regensburg. Later, after Kung rejected papal infallibility and celibacy of the priesthood, Ratzinger was instrumental in the decision to rescind his permission to teach theology.
Note: I've forgotten how to make umlauts so sorry for butchering the names above.
I just love it when some religious devotee claims to know more about the afterlife than do the rest of us, as if their fanciful dreams and visions are any more valid than those of other people. The truth is that none of us, including the Pope, holds special knowledge about the afterlife, and it's about time we all point this fact out to the crackpots…er, I mean, well-meaning but disillusioned believers…who think otherwise.
How to make umlauts: Use the bare html in the response, such as (ampersand)uuml; for ü and (ampersand)auml; for ä where the leading letter is case sensitive.
Here's a comprehensive list of special html foreign language characters organized by language. They have another page for non-Roman alphabets like Greek and Russian, too.
Erich; "Te absolvo."