I have a confession to make. I’m an ordained minister. I’m not making this up. I was ordained about five years ago by the Universal Life Church.
I got ordained because it was free and it only took a few minutes on-line. I also did it because it allowed me to officiate over a wedding for two friends. Here’s the irony. These two friends selected a wonderful woman to actually perform the ceremony. The woman had graduated from the seminary, receiving extensive theological training. But the Church wouldn’t ordain her because she was a lesbian. Therefore, the woman performed a beautiful ceremony in front of hundreds of people, but it wasn’t “official” according to state law. The next day, I conducted a small private ceremony: “By the power invested in me by the Universal Life Church, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife!” Ta-Daaaahh. I signed the marriage certificate. It was quite fun and satisfying to help out.
In sum, the lesbian woman with all the training couldn’t officiate, but I could do it, because I spent five minutes on the Internet. When I was ordained (I assume this is still the case with the ULC), I had to check a box agreeing that 1) people should be kind to each other and 2) people should be free to practice whatever religion they choose. That’s about it. No dogmatic beliefs are required.
Prior to the wedding I carefully checked to see whether I could perform this ceremony in the State of Maine (where the wedding was held). The government official told me that they have about 20 of these ULC weddings performed every year in Maine. This might not work in all states, however, so do your research! ULC provides some legal information on this topic. It boils down to how they interpret the phrase “ordained minister.” Maine’s policy is that as long as there is an organization that is willing to say you are an ordained minister (ULC will vouch for you), you’re good to go.
What’s especially cool about this ULC option is that the couple can be married by someone who actually knows them, rather than someone who is officiating simply because he or she has traditional credentials.
That’s my story, then. Sadly, my story is also about bigotry by a religion.
If you want to get ordained, just visit the ULC site. If you want, you can pay $12.25 for a plastic ID card identifying yourself as an ordained minister (mine says “Reverend Erich Vieth”). ULC has a real physical building in Modesto, California. You can check to see who is a minister [I just renewed my listing, so it might not be up yet]. It’s not just a 17-year old kid working out of his basement. ULC is a very inclusive, non-judgmental organization. Here’s a little blurb from the ULC site:
We make no religious hurdles, no hoops to jump through, no tests of loyalty, no rings to kiss and no fees to pay. Why? The ULC Monastery represents freedom, and to have freedom you can not make demands upon individuals. In the Universal Life Chuch (ULC) Monastery everyone is equal – the same level of greatness is enjoyed by all. We will be your personal minister/consulate and advisor, with your consent at no charge to you. We are here for you each day. There is a scripture which says “there is a friend, which sticketh closer than a brother.” We wish to be that friend for you. We ordain all who ask and welcome you to the Universal Life Church Monastery Ministries.
Checking the site today, I see that ULC now has an official policy recognizing same sex marriage:
All adult persons with love for one another have a religious and constitutional right under the 1st amendment of the United States, to the union of marriage regardless of sex.
Such is invoked under natural, primal, and religious law. Given this understanding, we hold that it is a denial of religious rights by the United States government to restrain our ministers from their constitutional right to perform the ritual of the Sacrament of Marriage to consenting adults, be they any sex.
If you need last rites, let me know . . . or better yet, have any friend quickly get ordained over the Internet to minister to you.
Hah! You do believe in God! Your just an immoral nihilist like the rest of us theists! Go with God, Erich!
I am shocked that you have been hiding your identity as a man of the cloth!
It looks like all this religious talk has finally gotten to His head!
Erich's stock is dropping fast! SELL SELL!
This brings me a vexing, though far from imminent concern: what does a nonreligious wedding look like? I've seen varying degrees of religiousity in weddings- from those with full masses to those outside of churches, with little mention of God. But every single one had a religious figure leading it, and had something resembling prayer, and some kind of reference to spirituality. With such ingrained traditions, what would a nonbeliever do if they still wanted a ceremony?
I think this probably came to mind because I saw an article about it on the American Atheists website: http://www.atheists.org/comingout/weddings/atheis…
I was seriously thinking about getting my license through your group, but after reading that you now believe it's alright for 2 people of the same sex to be married, I DON'T THINK SO! I believe the word of God is very clear on a man and a women. God created Adam and Eve as a couple and told them to relenish the earth. He did not tell Adam and Steve – why? because they cant reproduce. I believe someone needs to do more studying of the HOLY BIBLE.
WOW! for somebody who believes so much in the bible, you seem to have forgotten the part about judge not lest ye be judged. and loving your neighbor as yourself. and about all man being created equal in God's own image. I could continue. I'll even go so far as to say love the sinner, hate the sin. sounds like you need to let me deal with my maker on judgement day and you practice a little of God's principles on your own
Charles: My favorite biblical marriage instruction is found in the laws brought down from the mountain (from which the "10 Commandments" were abridged), Exodus 21-10
So, why is monogamy practiced by so many Christians when the Bible so clearly gives instructions on managing polygamy?
Erika, I feel that ceremony is a human need, but mysticism is not.
At my own non-denominational wedding we blended traditions from several cultures: New-age, some Navajo, a dash of Judaic, and a few other influences in our ceremony.
I've always liked the Quaker approach; that a ceremony under God is actually of and for the community. I've been to a Quaker wedding, and Orthodox Jewish, and Reform, and Unitarian, and Catholic, and a few that probably were some form of Christian, but not aggressively so.
Funerals are a different matter. I've been to some very nice nominally Jewish funerals, and a couple of atheist memorial services. I've also endured fire-and-brimstone recruitment funerals, the bulk of the service laboriously pointing out that the decedent will be in the arms of Jaisus, but anyone not wholly committed to {name of Church Here} will be cast into the eternal pit of damnation.
Charles are you channeling the Church Lady from SNL? You sound just like her.
BTW – "a man and a women" – Freudian slip?
An atheist wedding looks just like a Christian wedding. Only nobody really talks about it, because all the parents and grandparents are religious. The atheist participants must swallow their pride and ideology as usual. At least the few weddings I have been to. Even if one side of the family is JEWISH, the wedding seems to lean toward Christianity, as in, you are married by a minister not rabbi.
Oh, nice jab Charles. You probably don't belong in Erich's Church group anyway, where discrimination is frowned upon! Remember Charles, God loves all his children equally!
"It looks like all this religious talk has finally gotten to His head!" Ben, I've discovered that religion is power. I'm blessing you at this very moment and there is nothing you can do about it.
Bumper sticker I saw last year: "God bless everyone. No Exceptions."
Exodus 21 is an eye-opener. It is, for example, remarkably blase about fathers who sell their daughters into servitude. Such a practice stems from the notion that women are chattel; i.e., men's property…the same basis upon which anti-abortion laws are founded.
"I’ve discovered that religion is power"
Maybe it's the soul of Falwell returning already?
From South Park (TV)…
Stan: You'll never get a platinum album doing Christian rock, Cartman! It was a stupid idea then, and it's a stupid idea now!
Kyle: Yeah, you don't even know anything about Christianity.
Cartman: I know enough to exploit it. Just get that ten bucks ready, Kyle. Tata!
I 2 am an ordained minister with ULC. No, I dont believe in 2 people of the same sex to marry, but I dont have to agree with their full teaching either. God bless all who visit this site.
I fond your words to ring thrue to me. I am thinking abut geting ordinated myself so i may perfor a comitment sermony for my 2 gay freinds. I origenly come from sweden and things are a lite difrent here. The swedish shurtsh will hold a blesing sermony but will not call it a marige. They call it Partnership. I am not hung up on words but i belive we shuld never stand in the way of anyones religus freedom or ther way to form a famely. No one can in advansed say that a marage is good or will last forever. We hope and pray that fathe in themselfs will pull them thure what ever life thows at them. I can not se how it will be more destain for failur just cous the cupel is to galls or boys.. I think statistics have shown that cupels with one sex of eatsh has the higest divors nubers ever.. somting to think over. Thank you for speeking up on this mather it made me have a vitnes to the unfarnes of how things are and not just my ohn preseptions on it. Bee Weel
Looks like Charles said on May 17th 2007 that the state has a moral obligation to refuse marriage licenses to infertile couples. And of course any attempts at curtailing this status through laboratory fertilization, or even adoption, is mockery of the sacred institution of marriage and a thumbing of the nose to God™
I've now learned that the legitimacy of my Internet ordination is being threatened. Reason Magazine reports that a Pennsylvania has invalidated a marriage because the person officiating over it was ordained over the Internet. The legislatures of Pennsylvania and Nevada are also considering steps to limit the powers of Internet ministers like me. Here's the full article: http://www.reason.com/blog/show/122455.html
A court case on this issue would be quite interesting. It would ultimately have to involve a court making a determination of what is (or is not) a legitimate religion. The government would have no right to do so (it would seem) pursuant to the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.
hi. i just got ordained to get cheap car insurance £36 cheaper. being able to marry people is just a perk
Have you heard of The Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, Erich? It exists only online. That's where my husband got ordained. He is investigating getting a license to perform marriages.
Link: http://apatheticagnostic.org/
I am confused – Is the Universal Life Church the same as Universal Life Church Monastery? I was under the assumption they were different.
Michael Jacobson, a 64-year-old retiree who calls himself a lifelong atheist, tried this year to get a license to perform weddings. Clark County rejected his application because he had no ties to a congregation, as state law requires.
So Jacobson and attorneys from two national secular groups — the American Humanist Assn. and the Center for Inquiry — are trying to change things. If they can't persuade the state Legislature to rework the law, they plan to sue.
http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/asection…
I am doing this to marry my daughter
Randall. It's a wonderful alternative to requiring what often amounts to a total stranger officiating. I have now married three couples (they are all going strong!).
Do check the laws in your state before proceeding. Some states really don't like internet preachers officiating. I believe that Pennsylvania is one of them.
Er, you mean to perform the marriage ceremony, right?
Tim. Yup. This is a nice play on words. In fact, I married my friend Howard and then he married me.
How? In 1995, Howard was a Justice of the Peace and he officiated at the wedding of my wife and me. Years later, I officiated (employing my Internet minister license) at the wedding during which Howard married his bride.
What a privilege, to be the one to grace two people together in marriage! Cool!
I'm jealous! But, due to pre-existing beliefs in alleged mythical friends and the constructs surrounding the same, I cannot perform such ceremonies!
Many of my friends have been ordained online through such organizations as LGBTMinistry.org and Dudeism.com. They have successfully performed marriage ceremonies for their friends and family and couldn't be happier. I think that's wonderful and I for one support online ordination as a personal choice!