It's snaining, again. Oh, no, it's snaining again. This word is one I got from my father, who always said it with an appropriate sneer. Rain, sleet, and snow all rolling in at once. He'd never seen this sort of weather until he moved to the Midwest the year I…
I have long known that one should never ever congratulate a woman for being pregnant unless one knows (really really knows) that she is happily pregnant.
About seven years ago, my wife told me that one of the women living in our neighborhood was pregnant. This surprised me, because I knew that Sally (not her real name) had told me that she had no interest in having children.
About an hour later, though, while I was walking about a neighborhood art fair, I saw Sally. I walked up to talk with her. I commented that we hadn’t seen each other for quite a few months. She gestured toward her abdomen and stated “I’ve put on some weight since then.” I had noticed that she had, indeed, gained considerable weight. Therefore, I stated “Congratulations!”
She asked, “Congratulations about what?”
I instantly knew that I had broken a very basic rule and I was now paying for it. Sally wasn’t pregnant. I quickly mumbled something like “congratulations about this year’s art fair.” Sally was a volunteer in charge of the art fair. She looked at me as if I was acting strange, but then we talked a bit more before parting ways.
When I got home, I asked my wife how she knew that Sally was pregnant. She said that one of the other neighbors had told her. I had assumed that my wife had talked to Sally herself and learned about Sally’s pregnancy firsthand. Instead, rumor had been turned into a …
I have a confession.
If the general consensus is that I should never do this again, I will seriously consider stopping (not that I had ever done this before–see below). I know that the story I am about to relate will disgust and confound some readers. Beware that I am thin-skinned, but don’t hold back.
Here’s the short version. While in Chicago, my family and I (my wife and I have two daughters, aged six and eight) went to a trendy chocolatier (a store that sells high-priced chocolate). While at said store, I ate some of the high-priced chocolate left by a customer who had left the store just as we were sitting down.
As I relate this, I am haunted by the Seinfeld episode where George Costanza is caught rummaging through the trash can in the kitchen of a house eating a pastry that someone had thrown away. My adventure also brings to mind an idea put forth by “Tim,” a friend of mine, who has long argued that all morality starts with what one puts into one’s mouth.
Here’s what happened. We went to a chocolatier, where my wife ordered a high-priced cup of hot chocolate. The chocolatier was located on the first floor of an upscale mall that sells lots and lots of things that nobody really needs. It just so happened that the Lego store was on the second floor of that mall. That was our true destination when we were distracted by chocolatier’s prominent location.…
My family and I just returned from a wonderful trip to Chicago. My wife and I have two daughters, aged 6 and 8. All of us learned many new things at Chicago’s spectacular museums. For instance, the Field Museum
has a terrific exhibit, called Evolving Planet, which examines the evolution of life forms on Earth from 4 ½ billion years ago up to modern humans, combining displays regarding genetics with numerous awe-inspiring fossils. There’s no sign that the museum has given in to the creationist crowd. It’s mainstream science all the way. In fact, the website for Evolving Planet takes misconceptions regarding evolution head on. Here’s a refreshing sample:
Misconception: Evolution is just a theory, just as intelligent design and creationism are theories.
Answer: False. Evolution is a scientific theory based on the scientific method, which involves systematic data collection of observable phenomena and scientific experiments that can be accurately replicated. Intelligent design and creationism are faith-based belief systems—not testable scientific theories—that offer non-scientific explanations for life’s origins and the diversity of life forms.
Top off a visit to Evolving Planet with a visit to the Shedd Aquarium where you can see evidence of transitional forms like the Australian lungfish.
[I realize some of these photos are grainy–the aquarium prohibits flash photography.]
Or view this exquisitely camouflaged leafy sea dragon. God designed each and every fake leaf, even though He engaged in conscious deception by doing this (very unbecoming of omnipotence and omniscience).
Travel note: Chicago hotel rooms …
Think about it. The primary ("God Given") visible sign of male maturity is facial hair. Therefore the reason a man shaves his face must be: To appear feminine, or To appear underage Now, to whom do men who shave their faces appeal? Lessee: Someone who either wants a feminine lover,…