Creation on FaceBook

I recently volunteered to serve the data mining company, FaceBook. That is, I have joined this social networking site, fed them my stats, and regularly post information that FaceBook incorporates into its marketing database. Anything you write or post, they claim as their personal property so they can resell it.And there is the reputed link between FaceBook and the CIA. But I figure that since the FBI launched Carnivore in the 1990's, we're all scrod, anyway. But the real point of this post is to show you this funny version of Biblical Creation, as it might have manifested in FaceBook. They even have Sarah Palin, you betcha! And it isn't actually on FaceBook. No worries. Excerpt:

  • God: Don't worry, Cobra, you get to stay here. Just hang out in the garden.
  • Cobra: Ok. You mean on the beer trees?
  • God: Er, sorry, for budgetary reasons, we had to replace the beer trees with apple trees. But it's ok, apples are good for you. Just go play on those, ok?

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Hippo Birdies Triple-Hexadecimal

Today marks 3 x 2^4 years since I made an illegal uterine U-turn and backed into this life. That's 17,532 days of cardiovascular goodness; circa 2 Billion heartbeats. I'm three times the age I was when I got my first kiss. Presbyopia is now nagging me, and my temples are graying. TMI, you say? Be that as it may, I have an existential dilemma. This birthday is a round number, arguably rounder than 50 (2 x 5^2). I should celebrate. But how? "Take the day off!" cry the masses. But I haven't had a regular job since the late 1980's. I don't usually give any of my clients notice for taking a day off, and they rarely notice. "Buy yourself something nice." But I have a bad habit of buying what catches my fancy, plus an instinct not to fancy expensive or frivolous things. Ignore my slide rule, camera, and typewriter collections. Also, I recently ordered 10 lbs of aluminum dust, a controlled substance that will be brightly expended. You'll hear more about that in July. (hint) "Do something fun," is good advice. But I don't have a routine of drudgery to escape from. My aching, aging shoulder is too sore to properly "do" the City Museum, but I may go dancing in the evening.

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The Blessing of a Tolerant Atheist

On my FaceBook profile, I currently list my religion as "Tolerant Atheist". This was not carefully crafted to annoy absolutely everybody, but rather to allow for conversation. I recently received this strip of paper with an eBay purchase. I try to accept the caring and sharing intent of the message, rather than be irritated by the inference that I am damned to hell for all eternity because I don't share their dependence on a particular brand of invisible friend. Just after I graduated from college, I was somewhat less tolerant. That summer, I visited St. Peter's in Rome with my Jewish girlfriend. We followed an American priest/guide around and got some wonderful architectural and artistic behind-the-scenes insight, beyond that of a regular tour. Saint Peters As he led us out, we handed him a tip in honest appreciation of his sharing. He returned the gesture in kind, by blessing us each with a thumbed cross to our foreheads. My companion handled it with aplomb. I was less graceful. I'm sure my face reflected an expression appropriate to being blessed by a primitive savage priest with some unpleasant goo. Many atheists vehemently reject religion much like recovering alcoholics reject alcohol. They had been eager partakers, and now pity anyone who hasn't yet seen the light. Recovering Cathoholics and other Christ-shuns. I was raised atheist, so I don't have that particular bent. It's not that I disagree with Dawkins and PZ and their ilk about the dangers and inherently infantilizing nature of these beliefs. I just think that atheism will become better accepted in America if it isn't so intimately associated with vocal anti-Christianity. Here is how a well known irreligious bloviator candidly expresses his experience of receiving an evangelical gift. His point of view seems to match my own. Accept a gift as it is intended.

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How Did Herr Ratzinger Anger God?

I mean no disrespect to the hundreds of dead, thousands injured, and 100,000 now homeless in Italy. But Pope Whatsizname must have been asleep at the switch. Most prayers that I hear of contain a plea for personal well-being. Doesn't this indicate an expectation that the God of The Church should provide some protection in this life? If anyone had influence with a kind and loving supernatural God, wouldn't he use it to protect his almost completely coreligionist neighbors from such otherwise inevitable natural disasters? Either God or the Church must be impotent in such matters. Pick one. Either one. Or am I out of line? I am mostly incensed that the Big News of the day in the local paper and TV news shows was about how the local weather may affect spectators of a local sports team. Eventually they got around to mentioning that there was an earthquake somewhere. And now the weather, after these brief... And Governor Jindal publicly mocked funding of seismic research just last month.

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Casual Mistaken Arrest

A friend has recently blogged about her experience being informally arrested and handcuffed around the corner from her apartment in the afternoon. She was going for a walk, and police pulled up, told her they had a warrant, handcuffed her, and then began checking her identity. She certainly wasn't who they were looking for, nor did the incident last a long time. I think that her peaceful Zen attitude, presumably nun-induced, kept it from being an experience worth suing about.

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