LOL*cough*
Excuse me. I nearly choked on a handful of almonds. My created/intelligently designed oesophagus is just a little too close to my trachaea, making it very easy to block the latter with particles of chewed food whilst laughing my arse right off its hinges when I read stuff like this FOX [1] article:
State Rep. Leo Berman (R-Tyler) proposed House Bill 2800 when he learned that The Institute for Creation Research (ICR), a private institution that specializes in the education and research of biblical creationism, was not able to receive a certificate of authority from Texas’ Higher Education Coordinating Board to grant Master of Science degrees.
So. “Education” and “research” (grin) of biblical creationism (chortle). OK, well, although I’m no theologian or creation scientist (snort) , allow me to sum up the entire proposed course for you:
[2]Education: God did it.
Research: it says in the Bible that God did it.
Thesis: the Bible says God did it; the Bible is always right because God wrote it; God is always right; the evidence for this is in the Bible which God wrote; my conclusion is that God did it (and is always right, just like the book He wrote).
Well done, here’s your diploma & whimsical “WWJD” t-shirt that all the kids are wearing. That’ll be several thousand dollars. Hmm? What do you mean you can’t get a job in any university in the world (except Bob Jones U, whom we hate because they always beat us at football)? What do you mean everyone points, laughs and calls you “Flintsone”? Gasp! My God, you’ve been pre-Expelled! Damn you, Big Science! *shakes fist at sky* Damn you all to Hell!
But wait – there’s more! No story about improvident creationist lackwits would be complete without a variation on Ye Olde Argumente From Not Being A Monkeye’s Uncle:
“I don’t believe I came from a salamander that crawled out of a swamp millions of years ago,” Berman told FOXNews.com. “I do believe in creationism. I do believe there are gaps in evolution.
“But when you ask someone who believes in evolution, if you ask one of the elitists who believes in evolution about the gaps, they’ll tell you that the debate is over, that there is no debate, evolution is the thing, it’s the only way to go.”
Well, in the sense of having the only credible, testable and verifiable evidence, evolution is, has been and most likely will be forever the only way to go. And if the number and size of “gaps” in a theory (a theory which, by the way, has been constantly revised, edited and updated since 1859, has literally billions of pieces of evidence supporting it and, very, very importantly – has not been disproven or debunked in any meaningful fashion, ever, by anyone from anywhere) are directly related to how true that theory is, please can you explain how your Bible (which has remained unchanged & ignorant on even the most basic facts of reality, such as the shape of the planet and its positiong in the sky, more or less, since it was duct-taped together in the fourth century) explains anybloodything at all except the roots of fundamentalist lunacy like yours.
But to give you a partial credit, you are semi-correct about one thing: you didn’t come from a salamander from millions of years ago. In fact, both “you” and your salamander “came from” a self-replicating proto-organic molecule from billions of years ago. Yeah. I thought you’d like that.
Tiresome, pathetic, predictable and laughable as it is, I really wish these moonshine-swilling creationist troglodytes would make even the tiniest, token effort to actually comprehend what the theory of evolution says – and what it bloody well doesn’t say – before not only dismissing it as fantasy (pot, meet kettle) but also attempting to offer (chuckle, snort) Masters’ Degrees (CACKLE) in some allegedly conspired-against-by-Atheo-Neo-Darwinist-Evilutionismists “scientific” alternative!
Science is not some dark, ever-shrouded conspiracy-mill, you cud-chewing half-pate. Just because your precious Bush government was exactly that for 8 years is no reason to project it onto harmless nerds in labs inventing the interwebs or trying to find, oh I dunno, cures for frickin CANCER. So, please, do some actual research and publish something that backs creationism up (and remember to show your work so the other kids can replicate your results) or stand to one side and allow the big kids into the lab to get some frigging work done.
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