Though this is a “family” website, it is also a subversive family website. In that spirit, I’ll continue. This post was triggered by a family vacation. My family stayed in a cabin at a Missouri state park. We had a great time.
I know that the word “cabin” conjures up thoughts and images of no electricity, no A/C, no refrigerator, no stove and no living room. Actually, our “cabin” had all of these things, yet the park still considers it to be a “cabin.” Our cabin also had two identical light fixtures on the ceiling of the cabin’s living room. Rather than describe the light fixtures, I’ll just post a photo.
There. Do you see the issue? These light fixtures (again, there were two identical light fixtures on the living room ceiling) look like human female breasts. OK, I know some of you are already protesting. For you prudish people, take a deep breath and go back to ponder the photo a few more seconds.
In my opinion, these fixtures were intentionally designed to look like breasts. I have no doubt. If you have doubts, ask yourself whether there is anything they could have done to make these light fixtures look more like breasts. Truly, these fixtures have it all. Supple-yet-pouting contour, symmetrical and distinctive areolas, first-rate nipples. I suspect that these lights were made as a joke by a lighting company. To the surprise of the company, millions of customers lined up, each of them driven to purchase this fixture by their uncontrollable subconscious impulses. The customers likely said and thought things like “Oh, look at that elegant fixture, that traditional profile.”
To keep sales jumping, all the manufacturer needed was a vast conspiracy of silence on the part of the few of us who dared to consciously acknowledge what was really going on. Until today, that conspiracy held.
My vaction at the “cabin” was not the first time I’d ever seen such a breast-light fixture. For many years I’ve seen dozens of these light fixtures in very important places, places like conference rooms and several large opulent courtrooms. Now that I’ve brought this issue to the forefront, I challenge you to take notice too. These breast-fixtures are ubiquitous.
I’ll end with a request. If anyone really knows anything about this design, please send in your comments. Until I am instructed otherwise, I hereby deem this design “The Emperor’s New Light Fixture.”
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