I wouldn’t make this up. It was reported on MSNBC today. [1]
Pope Benedict XVI has reasserted the universal primacy of the Roman Catholic Church, approving a document released Tuesday that says Orthodox churches were defective and that other Christian denominations were not true churches.
How does the Pope know this? Hey, he just knows. Just like he knows that gay unions are “”pseudo-matrimony.” [2] Just like he knows that we shouldn’t read Harry Potter novels [3]. Just as he knows that it is better for millions of Africans to die of AIDS than to use condoms. [4] He knows that evolution has not been scientifically proven [5]. And he knows that limbo no longer exists. [6] And he knows that women are inferior and that there is a Devil and he knows that a virgin had a baby. And he knows that Catholicism purified indigenous populations [7]. Although he doesn’t believe in slavery, even though the Bible clear says that it’s OK to own a slave [8].
One Vatican official was quoted as saying that the Pope’s position is “not backtracking on ecumenical commitment.” Of course not. The Catholics are still willing to get together with people of other religions–as long as those other religions acknowledge that they are “defective” and “not true churches.” Maybe the Catholics could simply put “Member of Defective Religion” labels on the chairs for the people from the other religions, so that they will know where to sit.
It’s time for all of those defective false chuches to get with the Pope’s pronouncement or else all their followers will burn in hell, by the eternal and boundless love of Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Savior. Amen.
It’s really difficult for me to understand how a man of this unusual intellect can repeatedly graner great attention from the media and and further receive constant warm affection from tens of millions of Americans.
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