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Want to adopt a baby from China? Not if you are an old, depressed, sick, poor, alcoholic, amputee, criminal, fat Jehovah’s Witness!

My wife and I adopted our two wonderful daughters from China on two separate occasions, in 1999 and 2001.  We very much appreciated the way that the Chinese orphanages took good care of our daughters.  When we traveled to China to meet our daughters, we were treated well by the many Chinese people we met who ran China’s adoption program.  Everything was straight-forward and as we expected.  I also cannot say enough good things about Children’s Hope International, [1] the American adoption agency we used.

Throughout the adoption process one bit of irony repeatedly occurred to my wife and I: We had to be highly scrutinized before being allowed to adopt.  The Chinese government (and our own agency) wanted to make certain that we were going to be good parents.  My wife and I sometimes commented to each other that absolutely anyone is qualified to have a biological child, whereas people trying to adopt were treated with suspicion.  To be approved for adoption, we had to produce our arrest records, medical records, recommendation letters and a home study.

We periodically get newsletters from Children’s Hope.  This month’s letter includes the current requirements for adopting a child from China. [2] Interesting stuff.  In fact, the requirements are much stricter than they were a few years ago:

Families are not eligible to adopt if any of the following apply:

Finances

Criminal History – Families are not eligible to adopt if any of the following apply:

Marriage Requirements

Education Requirement:

How many children?

Religious Requirements

If you don’t like these requirements, don’t get angry at Children’s Hope.  The American agencies don’t create these requirements.  The American agencies are merely the messengers of what China requires.   China has created these requirements because it is believed that people who meet these requirements will be healthier and live longer, thus better able to take care of the young children they are adopting for many years.

I find these requirements intriguing.  Though I don’t agree with all of them, I can’t help but think that if I were a child about to be adopted, I would prefer that my adoptive family met these requirements or, at least, most of them.

Then again, think of the riot that would result if the state or federal government insisted that Americans had to meet these requirements in order to legally have their own biological children. 

The topic of eligibility requirements for having one’s own biological baby is truly a 3rd rail of American politics.   So much so, that we can’t even discuss the possibility of requiring the sterilization of people convicted of maiming or killing their own children.   Uh-oh . . . I mentioned it.  How awful that I would dare suggest that to have biological children, a potential parent must not have a track record of hurting or killing his/her own children. This widespread reluctance to discuss this issue surprises me, because people convicted of child abuse aren’t noted for having a strong governmental lobby.

I have a friend who has worked at a Family Court for 20 years.  He is liberal in his thinking, but shakes his head from side to side when he tells me of recurring instances of 5, 6, or 7 or more highly dysfunctional children coming through the Family Court, all of them born to the same woman.  Many of these children were born after one or both parents have had children removed from the home due to child abuse or neglect.   My friend states that almost all liberal-thinking people who work with the Family Court for any length of time start thinking that people who harm children should not be allowed to have any more of their own children. 

But there is no government program to enforce sterilization, even of those people who have been convicted child abusers.  There is absolutely no governmental effort to prevent dangerous parents from adding new children to their homes—unless they are trying to adopt.  I’m not advocating a particular government program–I’m merely pointing out the inconsistency and the irony.

But I do want to end this post on a happier note, because the world is filled mostly with dedicated parents raising beautiful children. And many of those parents first met their children after traveling half-way around the world.  Thus, the ancient Chinese belief of the “red thread,” a story embraced by me and by others who have been truly blessed through adoption.

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break.

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