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Principal drowns hundreds of grade school students in school basement

Principal drowns hundreds of grade school students in school basement

ASSIMULATED PRESS 2009

As the police were hauling Principal Soeht away in handcuffs, a reporter shouted one last question:

“Why did you drown hundreds of students in the basement of Tarara Elementary School?”

Soeht stared angrily at the reporter and replied, “Because almost all of those children were badly behaved and because I am the principal. I am in charge and no one answers to me!

A bystander then advised the reporter that a handful of students had survived. After ordering the entire school into the basement on the pretense of an emergency, Principal Soeht had opened some large water spigots. As the water started to fill the basement, Soeht quickly appointed a fifth grader named Timmy Ahwon to hand-select a small group of six of his friends and allowed only Ahwon and his six friends to leave the rising waters of the basement of Tarara Elementary School.

As these seven survivors left the basement, Principal Soeht reportedly locked the remaining hundreds of children behind large gates, then opened the valves on several large pipes in the basement (seen here), leading to loud screaming, vigorous splashing, sobbing and, eventually, silence.

Image by chrislugosz at Flickr (creative commons)

Although they escaped death, the seven survivors were not allowed to leave the school. Soeht forced Ahwon and his friends to live in a second floor classroom for one-hundred and fifty days while the waters filled the school basement all the way to the basement ceiling.

On their way up to the second floor, Soeht required the seven surviving students to hand-select and feed pairs of various animals that the students had been keeping in the classrooms as pets. While bodies of hundreds of children’s rotted in the flooded school basement for months, then, the hand-selected students carefully fed and cared for pairs of turtles, goldfish, birds, hamsters and other animals.

After the seven survivors had lived in the second-floor classroom for five months, Principal Soeht instructed Ahwon to allow several of the pet birds to go free by letting them fly out the second floor window.

The police charged Soeht with mass murder. They characterized him as a hideous madman.

The surviving children were apparently not upset with the actions of Soeht, however. Instead, they praised him for saving them. Ahwon himself reportedly referred to Soeht as “a completely honorable man.” In fact, Ahwon seemed intent on carrying out a command repeatedly given to him by Soeht during the basement flood: to fill the school with new students who were well-behaved, to replace the badly-behaved dead students.

A woman who lived near the school was inconsolable. This is the second horrible incident I’ve learned of today. God help us!

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Flooded With Data

Flooded With Data

I had an urge to think through some implications of a world-wide flood, such as the one Biblical Literalists claim happened a few thousand years ago.

Let’s suppose that it happened, that the entire world was inundated all at once to cover the highest mountain, and that all surviving land animals and short-range birds were preserved in a single boat. What would the ecological landscape look like?

gray worldFirst, all land animals would only be found on a single connected land mass. There is no way that any crawling creature could have reached Australia or the Americas from the Middle East. Most especially tropical animals.

Secondly, we expect to see floral panspermia. That is, the waters would have carried every species of seed to every land mass all at once. Vanilla and cocoa and peppercorns should all be found growing in the same places throughout human history. Same for and chile peppers and coffee and potatoes. Wheat and maize should also be seen as combined staples of every ancient diet.

Or the opposite: The flood waters killed off all the seeds except what was carried on the ark. Therefore, only the plants found in the middle east could exist anywhere in the world.

Also, all modern animal species should be represented in every geological flood stratum. After all, a single massive drowning event doesn’t distinguish between creatures of comparable size like an allosaur and an elephant or a trilobite and a mouse. Surely there must be abundant examples of these combined fossils.

So it is easy to prove that such a flood actually happened. In fact, it must have been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt when Europeans first sailed to the Americas and found everything there to be just the same as back home.