The Rapture did happen today!

May 21, 2011 | By | 12 Replies More

Unfortunately only seven people in the world were worthy of being sucked up into heaven, so it really wasn’t that big of a deal and no one noticed.


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Mike Pulcinella is a documentary filmmaker.

Comments (12)

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  1. Erich Vieth says:

    Mike: Everyone I know is still walking around down here too. Time to do a roll call.

  2. beau ward says:

    Thank god, er wait . . Nevermind.

  3. Mike M. says:

    Mike M. – "Here."

  4. Tim Hogan says:

    My family and I are all still here but, I can't find my son's cat!

  5. Mike M. says:

    'Verily, in the End of Days shall the clawed and whiskered beasts be firstly taken up into the sky, in the blinking of an eye. And it shall also come to pass that the fishes of the seas will be swept up into the air and become flying fishes, and ye shall see with thine eyes the swine of the farm rise up on wings of glory. Yea Brothers and Sisters, in the final moments ye shall witness winds and rains, with the possibility damaging hail. So It Is Written.'

    ~Duderonomy 1:69

  6. Brynn Jacobs says:

    From NPR, 5/23/11:

    It's too early to know how believers will cope with Saturday's failed prophecy in the long run. Some will admit they were wrong, but experts say most will find a way to rationalize their beliefs.

    "It's very hard for us to say, 'Boy, was I stupid!' " says Elliot Aronson, a prominent psychologist and co-author of the book Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, And Hurtful Acts.

    "The more committed a person is to their prophecy," he says, "the more likely they are to justify that action, and to try to convince people that their belief was in some way right or good."

    And as a textbook example:

    Reverend Harold Camping said May 21, 2011 was supposed to be the Rapture and the beginning of the end of the world. And he's sticking to his story, with a slight revision.

    In his first Family Radio broadcast since the apocalypse didn't happen, Camping said his interpretation was wrong but the facts are still the same. He insists May 21st was Judgment Day in a spiritual sense and the actual end of the world will be October 21, 2011.

    "We've always said October 21 was the day," Camping said during his show. "The only thing we didn't understand was the spirituality of May 21. We're seeing this as a spiritual thing happening rather than a physical thing happening. The timing, the structure, the proofs, none of that has changed at all."


  7. Erika Price says:

    Failed prophecies seem to end one of two ways: the believers move the goalpost and change the date or interpretation of the prophecy, or they pull a Heaven's Gate and ring in their own demise. Annoying as the currenr denialism and prophecy-revisionism is, it's preferable to the other way such cognitive dissonance plays out.

    I was a bit irritated, however, at the way nonbelievers amd skeptic led credence to this prophecy by discussing it and mocking it. Skeptics organizations all over the country had 'rapture' events; the prophecy was all over the news and the web. Since belief that May 21 was judgement day was such a fringe notion (even amongst believers), it seemed totally needless to draw further attention to it by mocking it. It was an absurdity that deserved to be ignored.

    But I bet the widespread coverage earned Camping's church a ton of donations.

  8. Mike M. says:

    Hey Erika, why the irritation? It's called "Fun With Flakes" and I find it highly amusing. And you say by simply discussing and goofing on the topic it lends credence to the prophecy? Hardly–don't get that at all. By mocking this "prophecy" I'm not mentally accepting it as true or real, but on the contrary laying out it's absurdities for full view. These Bible prophecy groups are potentially dangerous (as you pointed out), misleading and abusive to the cognitively impoverished, and just creepy and annoying. I agree with you that it'd be better if the media didn't approach this prophecy claim as News– but since it's out there and smeared all over the place let's tear into it and expose the insanity.

    Also, it's always good to remember that the leaders heading these fundamentalist cults are not true believers, but rather savy businessmen (and women) who have simply awakened to the sad truth that the poor, the hopeless, and the gullible are the ones most easily fooled and separated from their money. These televangelists, doomsday prophets and their slimy ilk are the very worst among us – the rabid wolves in sheep's clothing, and the real snakes in the garden of paradise.

  9. Erich Vieth says:

    Here's the explanation:

    “We had all of our dates correct,” Camping insisted, clarifying that he now understands that Christ’s May 21 arrival was “a spiritual coming” ushering in the last five months before the final judgment and destruction."

    I'm glad didn't quit my day job in anticipation of the end of the world.

  10. grumpypilgrim says:

    Brynn wrote (from NPR), "It’s too early to know how believers will cope with Saturday’s failed prophecy in the long run. Some will admit they were wrong, but experts say most will find a way to rationalize their beliefs."

    A good example of this was the fallout after the Great Disappointment of 1844. A fringe group of Seventh-Day Adventists had predicted the Second Coming of Christ on October 22 of that year — and many believers even sold their homes and businesses in anticipation of the Rapture — but the event failed to occur. After the date passed, the Adventists who remained convinced of their beliefs eventually morphed the prediction into something not of an earthly event, but (conveniently) of a heavenly one. They declared it was the date when "investigative judgment" began — when Christ entered the "Holy of Holies" in the heavenly sanctuary and began in earnest to distinguish true believers from mere pretenders. Of course, moving the location of the event from earth to heaven gave believers a face-saving way to ignore the public derision being heaped upon them — since hecklers could no longer prove the predicted event was a crock. Morphing the event into a divine judgment beneficial only to true believers also psychologically rewarded those who had made the greatest earthly sacrifices — since, of course, those who had divested themselves of the most material wealth had the strongest claims of being true believers.

  11. grumpypilgrim says:

    This post and the subsequent comments have been in my mind all week. I keep thinking about the way that religious (Christian) leaders not only move the goalposts, as Erica mentioned, but also move events into heaven so they cannot be debunked. Christ was resurrected, but we don't see him walking on water or curing the blind because he's living in heaven. Your dead ancestors are alive and happy, but you don't see them because they're in heaven. God loves you and watches over you, but you don't see him because he's in heaven. The golden plates that Joseph Smith claimed he translated into the Book of Mormon cannot be verified because they were taken back to heaven by their angelic guardian. The list goes on.

    No doubt this is one reason why religions have persisted for so many millenia: their leaders figured out long ago that this tactic works. Move it into heaven, because then no one can attack it.

    What's troubling, though, and even a bit disturbing, is to see how easily believers can be led to believe this — to rationalize earthly reality to fit prescribed supernatural beliefs. One of my own relatives even once told me they "knew" that heaven was a real place, until I pointed out that they didn't "know" any more about post-death existence than I did. Still, this person was convinced they "knew."

  12. Mike M. says:

    Grumpypilgrim makes some solid points. The greatest con on the evangelist-fundamentalist menu is the dessert that never arrives (Heaven). It dangles out there in front of the eyes of the faithful, enticing, urging the believers to rush forward to their gooey-sweet final reward. And of course, one of the rules of this game is that the players (or the played) must look at their main course (life on Earth) as an obstacle, a trial, something to be fought against or grimly endured before reaching Paradise. This is the trick, you see, as it gets the believers to deny their earthly existence, turn over their worldly assets, and bet it all on the Grand Prize in the Cosmic Lottery. Streets paved with gold, mansions dripping with jewels and lush gardens bursting with fruits. Reunited with dead loved ones on golden shores, life eternal and never-ending bliss. Who wouldn't want this? It all sounds so wonderful and hopeful–the faithful want to believe, so much, in this vision that it overrides all reason. I find it very sad, but in a weird way I can also see, at the core, a beautiful, childlike, and essentially human yearning. The vampiric preachers are well aware of this, and leverage it mercilessly to their own profit.

    'Grandmother waits for you with a pair of new shoes in a land where the leaves never brown. The hills are scattered with empty wheelchairs and hearing aids thrown to the ground. The long night is over. The shadow has passed and farewells forever are done. No more fear, no more cold. Earth and sky painted gold. In the land where we'll never grow old. The peacock and snake, the wolf and the lamb, all creatures find peace in time. These perfect white shores are littered with jewels falling like rain from the sky. Mother and baby walk into the waves no longer fearing the tides.'

    "Grandmother Waits For You" – Lyrics by The Handsome Family

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