Popular priest chooses both his girlfriend and a new flock

May 28, 2009 | By | 3 Replies More

The Rev. Alberto Cutié, a popular Miami Catholic priest, gave up on celibacy. The Catholic Church busted him, though and threw him out.  This move by the Church was probably because the U.S. branch of the Roman Catholic Church already has lots of young popular priests.  You know, supply and demand.

A popular Miami priest and media personality known as “Father Oprah” has left the Catholic Church to become an Anglican after he was photographed cavorting on the beach with his girlfriend . . . He was received into the Episcopal Church, the U.S. branch of the Anglican Communion, in a ceremony Thursday at Trinity Cathedral and may later announce he will marry his girlfriend, which is allowed in that denomination.

I can think of a few extremely good reasons why the Catholic Church should prefer to have sexually satisfied priests instead of sexually frustrated priests. But the Church doesn’t agree with me.  And I suppose that God has clearly spoken that priests can’t have sex. I understand that this prohibition is somewhere in the Bible, or not.

The Roman Catholic Church is that same church that still can’t admit that a significant chunk of its clergy should be sitting in prisons for raping children (and see here). It’s the same Church that disparages all efficient forms of family planning. It’s the same Church that disparages women by barring them from being priests because they are . . . WOMEN.

Image by Beyond Forgetting at Flickr (Creative Commons)

Image by Beyond Forgetting at Flickr (Creative Commons)

I know that a lot of us who were raised Catholic are privileged to enjoy sex extra-intensely because the Church taught us that sex is naughty. That extra enjoyment (if one can really call it that) is the silver lining of a huge dark cloud. It is hard to believe that an organization could be any more screwed up about sex than the Catholic Church.

I don’t understand why more U.S. Catholics don’t simply walk away from Rome and form their own locally controlled churches.   Here are a few founding principles I humbly offer to any U.S. Catholics who want to found their own churches:  A) Don’t disparage women, B) Don’t be idiots about sex, C) Don’t hire sexually frustrated priests.


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Category: Religion, Sex

About the Author ()

Erich Vieth is an attorney focusing on consumer law litigation and appellate practice. He is also a working musician and a writer, having founded Dangerous Intersection in 2006. Erich lives in the Shaw Neighborhood of St. Louis, Missouri, where he lives half-time with his two extraordinary daughters.

Comments (3)

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  1. Gabe Smith says:

    Typical thinking of a theist: Can’t get what you want with your current God; pick a new one. It baffles me that theists can’t see through this kind of thing. At one point in this man’s life, he was most likely adamant that God wants Catholic Priests to remain celibate. Then, he falls in love with a woman and, all-of-a-sudden, God approves of priests being married. It’s like the Build-A-God Workshop. Pick the characteristics you like; decorate him or her how you like; name him something, and there you go. I think that there are as many Gods floating around up there as there are people.

  2. Niklaus Pfirsig says:

    This reminde me of a story I heard years ago.

    A priest and a rabbi on seated next to each other on a long plane trip. Being somewhat bored, the priest turns to the rabbi and says "So, You're a rabbi."

    The rabbi looks at the priest and replies, "Yes I am, and I see by your collar that you are a priest."

    After a long silence, the priest speaks again, "I've heard that people of you faith don't eat pork"

    The rabbi answers "That's right. I heard that priests don't have carnal relations"

    "That's true", replied the priest. "We take an oath of celibacy."

    Another quiet spell and the priest talks again, " Tell me, have you ever broken the rules and eaten pork?"

    "Yes, I did , once long ago." said the rabbi. "Did you ever break you oath and lay with a woman?"

    The priest blushed a bit and confessed that he had once broken his oath of celibacy.

    To which the rabbi replied,

    "Sure is a lot better than pork, wouldn't you agree?"

  3. Erich Vieth says:

    Gabe: I agree with your well-articulated points. I agree that Gods are as unique as fingerprints and that they are assembled though a process that amounts to cherry-picking. Wouldn't you like to invite those who go to the same church (pick any church) to each write a paper on what God "wants," and then compare those papers to the papers written by other believers and to the official church teachings of that church? How many fistfights and schisms would result?

    I also find it curious that Catholics, who argue that gay sex is not “natural” somehow conclude that it is “natural” for healthy grown men to be celibate.

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