Solution to those worried about their destiny: join EVERY religion

April 20, 2009 | By | 3 Replies More

Edward Current joined a religion just in case, but then he realized that he’d better join them all, just in case.

Move over, Pascal’s Wager. You solve nothing at all!

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Category: Religion

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Erich Vieth is an attorney focusing on consumer law litigation and appellate practice. He is also a working musician and a writer, having founded Dangerous Intersection in 2006. Erich lives in the Shaw Neighborhood of St. Louis, Missouri, where he lives half-time with his two extraordinary daughters.

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  1. Geis says:

    Phil Foglia posited just such a thing in his comic "Buck Godot: Zap Gun For Hire;" the church of the Slag-Blah.

    http://www.airshipentertainment.com/buckcomic.php

    Priest: "Slag-Blah's philosophy is that of militant agnosticism; we don't know, and you don't either! So we believe in everything! No religion is too silly, no pantheon to crowded, no cosmology too counterintuitive."

    Buck: "But many religions contradict each other."

    Priest: "True, so each religion has its own day, when its doctrines reign supreme over all."

    This is the logical conclusion of Pascal's wager. If you should believe in the Christian god on the off chance that he is the one true god, you have no choice but to hedge all of your bets and believe in Allah, Zeus, Odin, Ra, the Winslow and all the others. Of course, one must be able to compartmentalize your brain to make this work. One must be able to simultaneously believe multiple and conflicting universal truths. Surely, no sane being could accomplish such a thing.

    Buck: "But religion exists to provide a stable, comforting mega-philosophy that sentients use to establish a code of conduct and to help prepare themselves for entropy or death. Adherents of Slag-Blah are sure of nothing."

    Priest: "No, today I am sure that when I die, my soul will dance with the Lizard-Kings! Tomorrow, I'll be sure that when I die, I will travel to the great desert to Squim to help count every grain of sand to make sure that the universe will be reborn. Who is to say that I will not do them all?"

    So, if it takes that sort of insanity to believe thousands of contradicting faiths, what special sort of madness is required to believe a single faith which is internally contradicting?

    All Hail the Winslow!

  2. Erich Vieth says:

    Here are some of the lesser known religions (to me, anyway) that one should learn to practice if one is to FULLY prepared for the end of the world. There must be hundreds more where these came from. According to Wikipedia, each of these religions has at least 500,000 followers:

    Sikhism

    Jainism

    Juche

    Chondogyo

    Tenrikyo

    Cao Đài

    Ahl-e Haqq

    Seicho-No-Ie

    Yazidism

    Bahá'í Faith

    Rastafari movement

    Consider, also, the need to study the Navelites (they believe that Adam did not have a navel).

  3. Nietzsche says:

    REJECT ALL HARMFULL RELIGIONS!

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