What do you do when a cat poops on the airplane after you almost die in a plane crash?

June 6th, 2008 by Erich Vieth

Last night, I was flying from St. Louis to Minneapolis to participate in the 2008 National Conference for Media Reform.  I was flying in a small jet (the kind that holds about 60 passengers).

As we approached the Minneapolis airport, we started going through storm clouds.  Undeterred, the pilot started bringing the plane down for a landing.  The runway was in sight.  That’s when some huge storm clouds became apparent.  Not only that, lightning surrounded the airplane-it looked like the lightning was only a couple yards outside the window.  It was right after noticing the lightning that the plane went into a sustained stall.  It was not the kind of controlled stall that planes enter just prior to touching down.  Rather, this was the kind of stall where the nose of the plane goes way up (maybe 50° from horizontal) and the plane starts losing altitude, sliding backwards.

To make things worse, the plane started blowing sideways in the vicious wind.  This condition lasted for about 10 seconds. The feeling of being blown around like a leaf was really disconcerting.  No one on the plane reacted other than being extremely quiet. Nonetheless, I really truly thought that this was going to be the end for me.

Luckily (you knew the story would end well, since I’m writing this post), the pilot regained control of the plane, leveling out and fighting his way through five minutes of wicked winds.  There were lots of bumps and jolts, and many of the passengers were doublechecking and triple checking their seatbelts.

During the excitement, I could’ve sworn that I heard a cat.  As it turned out, the man sitting in front of me had a big black suitcase under his seat that was actually a carrier for a cat.  During the severe turbulence, the cat not only made lots of noise, it apparently shat all over itself, causing a thick stench of cat poop to spread throughout the seating area. The other passengers (including me) had to endure that smell (which was so bad that it was nauseating) while the pilot made a 20-minute detour around the storm in order to try to land the plane a second time.

Worse yet, I am highly allergic to cats.  My exposure triggered asthma, for which I needed to use an inhaler last night.

There’s no real point to this post, other than my need to rant.  I had no idea that passengers could bring cats in the passenger compartment of airplanes.  This especially surprises me, given the fact that numerous people (I’ve heard that it’s 10% of the population) are allergic to cats.

After the plane was safely on the ground (the passengers applauded when the plane safely touched down), I asked the flight attendant whether it was appropriate to have a cat in the passenger compartment of an airplane.  She stated that it is done all the time, and that the passenger needs only to pay an extra $100 in order to bring a pet in the passenger compartment of the plane.

I would suggest one modification to the $100 rule.  The next time a cat shits during a flight, the passenger bringing the cat should pay $100 to each passenger within 10 feet of the cat.

8 Responses to “What do you do when a cat poops on the airplane after you almost die in a plane crash?”

  1. Mo Russell Says:

    Last night my wife and I flew in a small Delta plane from Salt Lake City to Phoenix. I spotted a lady coming up the ailse with a cat in a carry-on. I protested since she was sitting right behind us and my wife is very allergic to cats. She gets quite ill. First they moved her to the back of the plane, then to first class where more people complained, then to the back again. She has now paraded her feline past my wife on the ailse three times. I am going to write a letter to Delta. I think this is a health hazard for humans. Perhaps we will see who is more important, people or animals. I will not be surprised that animals have preference…mo

  2. Erich Vieth Says:

    Mo Russell: You’ve inspired me. I’m writing a complaint note to American Airlines tonight. Here’s a variation on the theme: if a passenger tries to wear stinky perfume or cologne, same issue. Rather than have me (and other passengers) choking, they should go wash it off.

  3. grumpypilgrim Says:

    If extreme air turbulence were to cause a *human* passenger to shit all over himself, or to vomit, would you also blame the airline for having to endure the smell? Would you demand monetary compensation?

  4. Erich Vieth Says:

    Can you bring a cat on a plane? Here’s the official answer by American Airlines, which did respond to my letter of concern:

    I am sorry that you were uncomfortable by the presence of an animal aboard your flight. From the details you provided, it is clear that the animal aboard created unpleasant conditions for you — again, I am sorry. I apologize, too, that our personnel weren’t more successful in improving the situation for you. No doubt it was an annoying experience for all concerned.

    I can appreciate your disappointment that you were unaware a pet would be traveling in the cabin on your flight. While it would not be possible for us to effectively contact every customer who has booked a reservation to advise them that a pet may be traveling on their flight, the next time you make reservations to travel with us, ask the booking agent if any animals are booked for travel on the flights on your itinerary. Bear in mind that some people book flights on the spur of the moment, so it will be necessary to call our reservations office about 12 hours or so before the departure time. That way, we can give you the best information available about pets in the cabin. However, we cannot guarantee a pet-free cabin because some customers traveling with pets or service animals could be accommodated on one of your flights after either missing an earlier flight or their flight was canceled.

    Believe it or not, our regulations for pets carried aboard the aircraft are aimed at reducing any discomfort on the part of our other customers. When traveling within the
    48 contiguous United States, we allow seven kennels per flight, two in the First Class cabin and a total of five in the Main Cabin and Business Class combined.

    The pet must travel in a kennel that fits underneath the seat in front of the accompanying passenger. We require that the animal stay in the kennel (there are exceptions) in order to reduce odor, noise, allergic reactions and unpleasant “accidents.” Additionally, the pet must be able to stand up in the kennel, which precludes large animals from being accommodated. For the most part, no household pets are allowed in the cabin on long transatlantic or transpacific flights (with the exception of service animals) or on flights to or from Hawaii.

    With regard to the issue concerning animals allowed out of their kennels, the U.S.
    Department of Transportation has ruled that airlines must allow emotional support animals to travel in the cabin; these animals may ride on the customer’s lap.

    While we appreciate the perspective that things would be a lot easier if pets were barred from the passenger cabin, the large number of our customers who want to travel with their animals don’t share this view. So, I hope you can appreciate our reasons for not applying any such ban unilaterally. Many customers traveling with animals are professional breeders on their way to shows and competitions. Their livelihood may well depend on the ability to transport their animals inside aircraft cabins.

    Again, I’m sorry your experience was unsatisfactory. However, pets will continue to be passengers aboard our flights. We will continue our efforts to ensure compliance with our inflight restrictions for pets in the cabin to make for a quiet and peaceful journey for everyone.

    Mr. Vieth, we want all customers to enjoy their flights with American Airlines — whether they are customers who care to travel with their pets or those who would prefer that “Rover” be left home. Thank you for sharing your perspective and for listening to our point of view.

  5. Bogdan Says:

    I was reading the posts an the stories on this web site and I’m amazed with all this, I just want to ask what about the babies when they are on the flight and they cry like crazy and poop them self and they bother the hole cockpit, they should be in cargo area not the animals

  6. Dan Klarmann Says:

    I’ve never heard of a human going into respiratory arrest because of exposure to a baby.

  7. FromWA Says:

    Why don’t you just sue the airline? That is the American way, right? You could sue them for not informing you that there would be turbulance. Have you ever flown on a plane before? Do you know the first thing about flight? I would have loved to be on that plane to experience a plane “flying” backwards! If you are allergic to cats, it should have been your due dilligence to check that none would be seated around you. Personal responsibilty…what a novel idea!

  8. Erich Vieth Says:

    FromWA: For a homework assignment, try this. Please re-read your comment and check the tone. Then ask yourself whether you are the kind of person who you’d like to converse with. Then consider whether you’d ever be willing to step up and sign your REAL name to a comment like that.

    I really don’t understand your hostility to the post. It never occurred to me to sue the airline. I never blamed the pilot or airline for the turbulence. I was just glad I ended up alive and surprised that the airlines let animals in the passenger compartment.

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