Discovery of world’s newest oldest tree means it’s time to revise the Bible.

April 13, 2008 | By | 33 Replies More

In 1964, when a living bristlecone pine tree in California was determined to be almost 5,000 years old, it gave Bible literalists a big scare.  After all, literalists (young earthers) believe that the earth is only about 6,000 years old.  Was that bristlecone pine tree around for the “big flood?”   Not quite: young earth adherents argue that that 5,000 year old tree must have been planted right after the waters receded.  Maybe Noah himself came to California to plant it.

But now there’s a newly discovered tree that is even older than the bristlecone pine:

STOCKHOLM (Reuters) – Scientists have found a cluster of spruces in the mountains in western Sweden which, at an age of 8,000 years, may be the world’s oldest living trees.

The hardy Norway spruces were found perched high on a mountain side where they have remained safe from recent dangers such as logging, but exposed to the harsh weather conditions of the mountain range that separates Norway and Sweden.

Carbon dating of the trees carried out at a laboratory in Miami, Florida, showed the oldest of them first set root about 8,000 years ago, making it the world’s oldest known living tree, Umea University Professor Leif Kullman said.

I’m trying to phrase this carefully, now: 

This newly discovered living tree must have been planted prior to the creation of the universe! 

I don’t quite know how this tree could have been floating around in space prior to the creation of the universe, because there wasn’t even any empty space “back then.”  I wonder if it was ever watered prior to the creation of the universe . . .  If that ancient tree that was the only thing in the universe fell over, would anyone hear it fall? Did God have a treehouse in that tree? If the tree was the only thing in the universe, how would it know which way to grow upSo many questions. 

This unfortunate discovery of a very very old tree now forces our hands: It’s time to revise the Bible to indicate that the universe is more than 8,000 years old.  That will fix things as long as we don’t discover any 9,000 year old trees and as long as we ignore all of the  scientifically established methods for showing that the earth is actually billions of years old.

[Here is an explanation of why the young earth folks are absolutely wrong when they attack the validity of Carbon-14 dating and here’s an extensive list of reputable articles on radiometric dating]

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Category: History, Religion, Science, Whimsy

About the Author ()

Erich Vieth is an attorney focusing on consumer law litigation and appellate practice. He is also a working musician and a writer, having founded Dangerous Intersection in 2006. Erich lives in the Shaw Neighborhood of St. Louis, Missouri, where he lives half-time with his two extraordinary daughters.

Comments (33)

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  1. trisha says:

    Erich Vieth you are a fucking no life bastered that has nothing to do with his life but post stupid fucking shit how about

    how the Bible isn't true leave that up to us to decide leave ur stupid ass tree to urself u need leave Christians in peace because all u wanna do is attack them u dumb fuck you are a waste taking up oxygen to people that do live a good life to God.

    Get a life fat ass

  2. Tim Hogan says:

    Cute job of editing comments, there.

    trisha is to theists as Josef Stalin is to atheists.

    Try less hatchet jobbing and more proofing, you've never let such language through before.

  3. Tim Hogan says:

    As ar as I can tell, the universe is some 13-15 billion years old. People have evolved from lower life forms. Science works. I believe that Jesus Christ died for our sins, was buried and is risen from the dead.

    The first three statements are based upon empirical evidence tested by experimentation, peer review and subject to replication.

    The last is a statement of faith, I have no proof, faith cannot be experimented upon or proven by peer review or objective replication. Faith is not science, which may be your point. My Roman Catholic faith is my choice, after review and exploration of other beliefs (including non-belief).

  4. Dan Klarmann says:

    And keep in mind that, although the Bible clearly says that the world is flat, it never actually says that the world is young.

  5. Niklaus Pfirsig says:

    Nova and Trisha,

    If God is love, and Jesus said you must love your enemies, and you are good keepers of the faith, from whence does this vitrioloc hatred and anger come forth?

  6. vilignoble says:

    It was an old pope that said it was only a some thousand years old. The bible say "according to what people believed along time ago who may or may not have heard voices", people have been here for around, and it says around, 12,000 years. But, if you estimate how people notice they are wrong every five hundred years, 12,billion will be far too short also, probably, or around.

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