Comments on: I’m going to summarize a supermarket tabloid newspaper for you this week, so you can save your money. http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/ Human Animals at the Crossroads of Culture, Science, Religion and Media Sat, 22 Nov 2008 07:13:59 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Alison http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16427 Alison Thu, 28 Feb 2008 02:39:20 +0000 http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16427 One of the worst rapture ideas I ever heard was that anyone who had gone to heaven before the rapture would come back down, re-inhabit their bodies, and THEN be bodily assumed up into heaven. Well, at least some born-again zombies might make heaven a little more interesting, ya think? Dan, I love the term "remaindered fundamentalists". One of the worst rapture ideas I ever heard was that anyone who had gone to heaven before the rapture would come back down, re-inhabit their bodies, and THEN be bodily assumed up into heaven. Well, at least some born-again zombies might make heaven a little more interesting, ya think?

Dan, I love the term “remaindered fundamentalists”.

]]> By: grumpypilgrim http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16422 grumpypilgrim Wed, 27 Feb 2008 23:49:47 +0000 http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16422 Erika asks, "Does God not provide insulin in Heaven?" This reminds me of a question I posed a while ago: does God provide jet skis in heaven? (See http://dangerousintersection.org/?p=631/.) Erika asks, “Does God not provide insulin in Heaven?”

This reminds me of a question I posed a while ago: does God provide jet skis in heaven? (See http://dangerousintersection.org/?p=631/.)

]]> By: grumpypilgrim http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16421 grumpypilgrim Wed, 27 Feb 2008 23:40:58 +0000 http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16421 There was a preacher on the Bill Moyers show (PBS) last weekend who debunked the entire notion of a rapture. He said it was unsupported by scripture and that, instead, heaven is merely a temporary holding pen and that the Bible actually says that God will totally remake our planet and the bodies of believers. I didn't catch the whole interview, so I don't know if they discussed eternal damnation. Meanwhile, instant transportation to heaven is also unscriptural, according to the Seventh Day Adventists. They claim the Bible says the dead are asleep until the Second Coming and only then are shuttled off to heaven, while the damned merely remain asleep forever. Happily for them, Adventists reject the existence of eternal damnation. Strange, isn't it? The Bible's raison d'etre is to provide answers to ultimate questions, yet it supports such wildly conflicting answers that we really shouldn't call them answers at all. There was a preacher on the Bill Moyers show (PBS) last weekend who debunked the entire notion of a rapture. He said it was unsupported by scripture and that, instead, heaven is merely a temporary holding pen and that the Bible actually says that God will totally remake our planet and the bodies of believers. I didn’t catch the whole interview, so I don’t know if they discussed eternal damnation.

Meanwhile, instant transportation to heaven is also unscriptural, according to the Seventh Day Adventists. They claim the Bible says the dead are asleep until the Second Coming and only then are shuttled off to heaven, while the damned merely remain asleep forever. Happily for them, Adventists reject the existence of eternal damnation.

Strange, isn’t it? The Bible’s raison d’etre is to provide answers to ultimate questions, yet it supports such wildly conflicting answers that we really shouldn’t call them answers at all.

]]> By: Erika Price http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16410 Erika Price Wed, 27 Feb 2008 15:59:27 +0000 http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16410 If you expect Jesus to come down and deliver you to heaven within the next two months, why would you care about losing weight or preventing diabetes? Do these people want to slim down just in time to have a more attractive eternal form? Does God not provide insulin in Heaven? If you expect Jesus to come down and deliver you to heaven within the next two months, why would you care about losing weight or preventing diabetes? Do these people want to slim down just in time to have a more attractive eternal form? Does God not provide insulin in Heaven?

]]> By: Yuan http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16400 Yuan Wed, 27 Feb 2008 05:02:34 +0000 http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16400 Sounds like something out of The Quibbler. xD Sounds like something out of The Quibbler. xD

]]> By: Dan Klarmann http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16399 Dan Klarmann Wed, 27 Feb 2008 04:31:16 +0000 http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16399 Alison: Only a small subset of the fundies are eligible to be raptured, given that each church disagrees on some fine point or other that makes all others ineligible. The remaindered fundamentalists will then decide that they were chosen to fight for Jeebus down here, to gain even greater glory later. Unless they were all wrong and the Christ did his job, and all men who have heard his name are forgiven and will be taken up, whether they like it or not. Alison: Only a small subset of the fundies are eligible to be raptured, given that each church disagrees on some fine point or other that makes all others ineligible.

The remaindered fundamentalists will then decide that they were chosen to fight for Jeebus down here, to gain even greater glory later.

Unless they were all wrong and the Christ did his job, and all men who have heard his name are forgiven and will be taken up, whether they like it or not.

]]> By: Erich Vieth http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16394 Erich Vieth Tue, 26 Feb 2008 23:57:05 +0000 http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16394 The readers of this type of newspaper are obviously believers in magical thinking, a phenomenon Marty Kaplan discusses <a href="http://dangerousintersection.org/2007/08/08/don%E2%80%99t-hold-your-breath-that-good-things-will-just-happen/" rel="nofollow">here. </a> The readers of this type of newspaper are obviously believers in magical thinking, a phenomenon Marty Kaplan discusses here.

]]> By: Alison http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16392 Alison Tue, 26 Feb 2008 23:40:46 +0000 http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16392 You know what, though, if those predictions came true, it would be really great. All the crazy fundies will be raptured up, leaving a clean, economically sound, peaceful, disease-free world for the rest of us to stick around and enjoy. Go, Sun! You know what, though, if those predictions came true, it would be really great. All the crazy fundies will be raptured up, leaving a clean, economically sound, peaceful, disease-free world for the rest of us to stick around and enjoy. Go, Sun!

]]> By: Niklaus Pfirsig http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16384 Niklaus Pfirsig Tue, 26 Feb 2008 18:41:43 +0000 http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16384 I hated it when the Weekly World News ceased publication. I always got a laugh from the articles like "What to do when attacked by a dinosaur!" and the various exploits of that crazy gay couple- Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden - as they worked various jobe in drag along the west coast. The really scary part is that there are people who believe this silliness, (and many would vote for a mentally challenged ape if it ran as a Republican candidate) I hated it when the Weekly World News ceased publication. I always got a laugh from the articles like “What to do when attacked by a dinosaur!” and the various exploits of that crazy gay couple- Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden - as they worked various jobe in drag along the west coast.

The really scary part is that there are people who believe this silliness, (and many would vote for a mentally challenged ape if it ran as a Republican candidate)

]]> By: Sylvie http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16383 Sylvie Tue, 26 Feb 2008 16:17:01 +0000 http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/02/26/im-going-to-summarize-a-supermarket-tabloid-newspaper-for-you-this-week-so-you-can-save-your-money/#comment-16383 I suspect that American Media Inc. is a front for the people who own The Onion. I suspect that American Media Inc. is a front for the people who own The Onion.

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